Funny Guy Friday... The Big Day...

    Funny Guy Friday is written by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    Last Thanksgiving, Grace and I were in our basement discussing her future. It became clear to me that we had different versions of her future when she asked me if I would be upset if she and her boyfriend, Brian, got engaged at Christmas.
    Of course not.  I know that you have been thinking about it and I know Brian is going into the Army and I would not expect you to wait until he gets out of the Army. However, I do have a few concerns, like you are young and you don't always react well to change. When he goes into the Army, you are going to face a lot of changes in your life. That is what I said.  
    OH MY GOSH... NOOOOO! WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY! I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE A MARRIED CHILD. YOU ARE A BABY... OH MY GOSH THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!!!! I HAVE OVER A HUNDRED CONCERNS... THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THAT YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG! YOUNG YOUNG YOUNG!!! YOU ARE LIKE... YOUNG. WAIT... YEAH, WAIT UNTIL HE GETS OUT OF THE ARMY... I'M GOING TO BE SICK, This is what I thought! 
    Grace advised me that she is ready for the changes that will come her way and that she only gets upset around me and her Mom... which I found funny because over the years, we are the two people that have fixed the things that have caused her to be upset.
 
    Well they did get engaged over Christmas and my baby girl gets married today... on Father's Day, no less. Nuptial Mass at Sacred Heart in Bowie followed by a reception in Ellicott City. You have heard of Ellicott City... it has been in the news a lot lately. This little thing called a flash flood washed it away three weeks ago.
    What's that, how can you have a reception in a city that has been washed away? The answer is that you can't.
    Turns out, you can't even get near the place.
    It could be worse, we could have had the reception on the day of the flood. There was a wedding there on the day of the flood and everyone had to be evacuated. We heard that every person at that wedding had their car washed away.  That will make for a great story some day... I am glad that I am not the one that is going to tell it.
    Grace was away when we heard about the flood but I was sure she was going to flip out. As is typical in our home when things do not go as expected, I took the news much better than Cheryl.  She was very matter of fact, just kept watching the news and reporting on what she was hearing and muttering things like, God has a plan! or  Things always work out. Crazy stuff like that.
    I just stared out to our backyard in a semi-comatose state conjuring up the worst possible scenarios.
    You can play along... We are going to lose our money. We will never find another venue in three weeks. Grace is young. Even if we do make it into Ellicott City, I bet they will not let us do a floating bar. Grace is still young... really young! She is going to be devastated!
    When we finally got in touch with Grace, who was with Brian and his family at his parent's home, her response was shocking.
    I heard... boy, I really feel bad for those poor people. I feel terrible for the lady we are renting from! 
    Wait, there must be a mistake. You see, my daughter reception venue got washed away and the wedding is in three weeks. She will be devastated. I am looking for Grace Palumbo... P A L U M B O.
    This is Grace, Dad. I feel bad for these folks. This happened before, just a few years ago and now the have had to go through this twice. 
    Put Grace on will ya? At this point I was getting nervous. Her reception venue has been washed away, we probably cannot find any place else with only three weeks to go, our deposit is gone and we are in full disaster mode. Put my baby girl on the phone, I need  to calm her down.
    No big deal... I have been looking online and there are a few places that have our date available. We will be okay. 
    No... No we won't be okay. At least not until I fix it. This is how it works. This is how it has always worked. Things go wrong, you panic. Mom fixes it and I take credit for it!  Why are you changing everything now?

    Oh, I get it, she is acting like she is a grown up and trying to convince me that Brian is some kind of calming influence in her life. That is funny because we all know I am the calming influence in her life. She is a child and I am an irreplaceable influence in my daughter's life!
    There, I said it!

    Problem is ... it may not be true. She may already be a grown up and she may be capable of fixing things on her own... or worse... GULP... capable of fixing things with a little help from Brian.
    I like Brian but as these types of things continue to occur, I can see myself changing that opinion!
    In actuality, Grace handled this whole change in plans like a champ. I can honestly say that I have never been more proud of her. Her thoughts and prayers were with the folks in Ellicott City and  then she went about finding a new reception venue with military precision.
    Wait a second... I see what's happening here. She never did anything with military precision in the past. In fact, when things did not go as expected, she would kind of panic a bit, expect the wort cse scenario and then go about trying to minimize the damage. Frankly, she was just like me. Now that Brian is in the picture... she is all different.
    While certainly more efficient, I don't like it... I don't like it at all.  I definitely see my opinion of Brian changing.

   The wedding weekend has begun. A few weeks ago, Cheryl and I discussed how this weekend would be... a quite time spent focusing on Grace and the blessed sacrament of marriage. Minimal visits from family... we have time to visit with them when we see them at the wedding.
   That was the plan.
    Friday, was like an Open House combined with a work zone at the Palumbos. We had over twenty five people coming and going. My brother painted our front door and the sprinkler people came and advised that we need to dig up the back yard to find a leak. I made an unexpected trip to the Italian market in Baltimore and we did what we always do when we have friends and family in town, we eat, we drink, we laugh and we play games.  What we did not do was quietly focus on the wedding.
    Same thing on Saturday with a wedding rehearsal and a rehearsal dinner sprinkled in.
    You know what... it was perfect. It all worked out fine and I would not have changed a thing. It turns out that married life is not that much different from planning a wedding.  Unexpected things happen, plans change, you figure it out. In fact, the only thing consistent about marriage is that things change. You might as well learn to deal with it from day one.
       

    Over the last few months, when I tell people that my daughter is getting married, they put their hand on my arm and gently ask... How are you doing.. how are you handling all this? 
    The answer is simple... I am not sad, I am not worried, I am not anxious. I feel great about it. I believe that this is absolutely the right thing.  For years, Cheryl and I have been praying for Brian... only we didn't know it was Brian at the time. At the time, it was just some random guy that would someday marry our daughter.  Granted we expected her to be twenty eight when it happened but remember what I said about unexpected things.
    Brian is the second oldest of eight home schooled kids. He is a devout Catholic who is smart, disciplined and loves his family. Most importantly, he loves Grace. His family is as nice as can be and the more I am around them, the more I like them. On a side note, two of his brothers stayed with us  Saturday night and the only criticism I have is that they just are not that good at the game Reverse Charades. I like their competitiveness but they are lacking in execution!
   Brian's family has accepted Grace with open arms. Cheryl and I know that when Grace and Brian go to visit them the day after every major holiday... Grace has promised that they will be spending the actual holiday at our house, especially after they have kids... it will be as if she is at home. Only with more kids, more noise and on a small farm.
    Grace didn't really promise that they would spend every major holiday at our house. I made that part up. But if Grace reads this, she should know that it would make her mom very happy if they did spend every major holiday with me... I mean us. You see Cheryl worries about stuff like that. I just smile and tell Cheryl that God has a plan or Everything happens for a reason. You know, grown up stuff like that!
    So Grace... at least consider the holiday thing... you know... for Mom.

    So today on Father's Day, I am giving a gift. Giving the most precious gift I have. But I am also getting a few gifts also... the gift of a new son and the family he brings with him.
    You know the only downside to this Father's Day wedding is...  I really could have used a few new dress shirts and ties.

    If you find yourself alone with some time on your hands today, please say a prayer for Grace and Brian as they start their life together.  Cheryl and I very excited and cannot wait to spend some time with friends and family.
 

Funny Guy Friday... Changes on the horizon...

    Funny Guy Friday is written by my husband Mark. So, I married a Funny Guy...
    So it has been a while.
    Let me fill you all in on what's happening since we last met.  I will do so in chronological order so you can fully grasp what we have in store.  Sit back... Enjoy... FEEL MY PAIN!
    Noah got confirmed last week.  Beautiful Mass followed by a little dinner party at the house for friends and family. Nice lead off event!
    Matthew goes to his senior prom next weekend.  Bought him a tux instead of renting.  Why, you ask? You will understand in a moment.
    Grace graduates from Mount Saint Mary's on Mother's Day... she gets no party.  And while no party for a family that commemorates every big event (birthdays, baptisms, major holidays, including but not limited to Flag Day, first bike rides and that time we caught a mouse) with a party full of  food, wine, beer and great merriment, not having a party for graduating college may seem odd.  Trust me, you will understand in a moment.
    Matthew graduates from High School in three weeks. He does get a party.
    Grace gets married on Father's Day weekend.... WHAT? Grace gets married on Fathers Day?... that can't be right... who would do that to their dad... I mean parents.  
    Well... okay... I do mean who would do that to their dad.  The ink is not even dry on the last tuition check. I waffle between liking the fiance... by the way, I can't stand that word... and hating him for what he is doing to me.
    Not really... I like him... sort of.
    Now you understand why no to the Gracie graduation party and yes to the Matthew tux, but we are still not done.
    Matthew leaves for college in August... going to Salisbury University. He is excited and has even told friends, I have a beach house thirty minutes away.
    Not so fast young squire!  I am not an accountant but that beach house may be in foreclosure by September.
    Finally, my bankruptcy in October.

    So now that you are all caught up, I will let you all in on a little secret.  I am very excited about all of the changes and celebrations and have nothing but excitement and joy at each of the above referenced events... except the foreclosure and the bankruptcy.
    But one big event that I did not mention does have me feeling a bit melancholy. I don't use the work melancholy much, so I am going to tell you that I think of melancholy as not quite sad but a little bit sad.
    Yesterday, the Spalding baseball program had its annual Senior Night honoring the graduating seniors.  Matthew has decided that he probably will not play college baseball.  He once asked me if I would mind if he did not play in college, and I told him that it was entirely up to him and my goal had always been to help get him ready to have a good high school career.
    Baseball all started when I was out throwing a wiffle ball at him when he was six years old.  A dad in the neighborhood was out scouting local talent and asked if Matthew wanted to come play machine pitch. Apparently, they were looking for a portly blond kid that took hacks. I had never heard of machine pitch and thought that Matthew was too young to get involved.  We went to a try out, and not only did he play, but I resurrected my coaching career.  We were the Bees... as in buzz buzz Bee. We had two girls on our team and one wore a skirt to every practice and to every game.  The other... I wanted Matthew to marry someday... she was cute and had a nice swing. It was the beginning of a fun-filled career and friendships that will last a lifetime.
    Matthew was a chubby kid that all of the sudden got skinnier and more athletic.  He made a ten year old All Star team in Little League when he was nine... despite the fact that his coach did not lobby for him to be on the squad.  That idiot coach was proved wrong when he played well and even  broke up a no hitter.
    On a side note... his mother still has not forgiven me for not lobbying for him to be on that team. 
    He (We) worked hard at being a better baseball player.  Besides our regular practices, we would go out and hit by ourselves for hours.  Teammates began to join us at these informal workouts and they became a big part of nearly everyone's Saturday morning routine... as long as the temperature was above fifty degrees... my rule, not Matthew's.
    I coached him up until he was twelve years old. That final year may have been one of the most fun times coaching that I had ever had.  A group of kids that gave every ounce of talent they had with parents that understood what this was all about.  This was also the first team that he played on that he was clearly one of the better players.  I will tell you that it is easier to coach your son when he is not one of the best players on the team, but Matthew made it easy because he always worked hard and he never expected anything different from me. Unfortunately, Matthew had to drive home with his coach and his coach was not always as calm in the car as  he was on the field... you know, when all the parents were watching me.
    Our "car discussions" often led to my apologizing the next day. Matthew was always so quick to forgive me and tell me: Don't worry about it, I know I have to get better.  
    Of course, this just made me feel worse.  It was sneaky the way he would do that!
    Matthew went to Spalding High School in large part to play baseball.
    His cousin is the head coach at Spalding.  Not sure if this helped or hurt Matthew, but he did not make the JV team his freshman year and was sent to play on the freshman team.  Matthew took advantage of his playing time and had a great year.  His sophomore year was spent on the JV team and I would venture to say that this was as much fun playing baseball as he has ever had with guys that he loved. Every practice had a funny story to tell.
    The past two years he has played on Varsity, coached by his cousin Joseph.  Joseph is demanding of all of his players and he expects them to work hard.  I never thought that Joseph was any harder on Matthew than he was on any other player.  The only difference between Matthew and everyone else was that Matthew had to hear how he screwed up and then go out to dinner with Joseph or see him at every celebration like baptisms, birthdays, major holidays, including but not limited to Flag Day, first bike rides or the time we caught that mouse.
    It was not always easy for Matthew, but he rarely complained, and whenever we would talk about it, he would ultimately say, He is right, I have to get better. 
    Matthew's senior year has not gone exactly as planned.  He has played well but never as good as he would like... you never do. Facing great pitching every night doesn't help. But like always, Matthew is positive and they are making a push for the playoffs.
    But I will say this... I have never been prouder of Matthew than I am this year.  He has, in my humble opinion, emerged as one of the team leaders.  Always in the right place, always positive, always encouraging, and always working hard.  He cares first about the team... which is a quality that is getting rarer and rarer as "travel baseball" focuses on an individual's size, velocity, exit speed, pop time, and time in the 60 yard dash (which I never understood because you never run 60 yards on a baseball field).
    Hitting a ground ball to the right side with a runner on second does not get you noticed and please don't ask me to bunt.
    Let's just say that to many kids, the team and winning is no longer the main priority.  I understand travel baseball... I just don't like travel baseball.   
    From his time on the Bees to his senior year at Spalding, baseball has afforded Matthew opportunities to develop as a person.  I will clearly state that Matthew is a better person than he is a baseball player.... and I mean this as the ultimate compliment. Unfortunately, I may have been a better player than I am a person... and I was not that good of a player... so this may explain a few things in my life.   
    The other day, I asked Matthew if he wanted to go and hit and he said that it was okay, that I did not have to do that... and then said something about my being old! I told him that it was quite alright. I wanted to throw to him because, with the season winding down, this would most likely be the last time I would be able to do it.
    I considered it well worth the risk of a sore elbow and an achy back.
    Confirmations, graduations, and weddings are the beginnings of new chapter in everyone's life.  On the other hand, Matthew's baseball career is coming to an end.  This makes me sad (sad is more accurate than melancholy).  Not sad for Matthew.  He has grown up playing a game that he loves and along the way, has learned life lessons that will help make him successful... no matter what he does.
    I am sure he will miss baseball, but he will find something else to fill his time. College offers lots of opportunities. Good for him.
    But I ask... What am I supposed to do?
    Fortunately, Grace has me covered until mid-June! After that... I guess I will make a few tee times with my younger son Noah.
    There you go... Golf... something I can do with the boys for the rest of our lives! 
    Sign me up!