Funny Guy Friday... Top twenty-two...

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So... twenty-two years ago, I married a funny guy.  I knew what I was doing.
    Twenty-two years ago today, I married the most wonderful woman in the world.
    I knew she was the one for me before I ever even asked her out on a date. We dated only six weeks before I asked her to be my wife. I never had a doubt. She had no faults... she was smart... she was funny... she was clever... she was nice... and she was beautiful.
    She is still smart... she is still funny... she is still clever... she is still nice... and she is still beautiful.
    My beautiful wife just came downstairs and she was clearly irritated. Why? you ask...
    She was in the upstairs bathroom and was calling out for... ahem... how do I put this delicately?... toilet paper. Nobody heard her, so nobody responded. She yelled and yelled and finally stomped her feet on the bathroom floor. The stomping attracted the attention of Matthew, but he had no idea why she would carry on in such a way. It was not as if she was stomping out... I need toilet paper... in Morse code.
    Despite the fact that she had received not one, but two new rolls, she was still aggravated!
    How did you not hear me? I was yelling and screaming for toilet paper. 
    I was on the phone... Matthew was in the bathroom... Gracie was in the car waiting to go out to dinner... and Noah is 9. He has the attention span of a gnat!
    But I called and called several times. 
    We were not ignoring you, sweetie, we just did not hear you. 
    How could you not hear me?... I could hear you guys!
    Okay, Jaime Sommers, we all don't have bionic ears. 
    So to commemorate our 22nd anniversary on this very Friday, I give you the top 22 reasons that I love my wife...
    Number 22... Her super power is super hearing!
    Number 21... She gets all of my stupid obscure references... like Jaime Sommers.
    Number 20... She is the best editor in the world. Every week, she tells me things like "Jaime Sommers only had one bionic ear, so you should have said we all don't have a bionic ear instead of we all don't have bionic ears... oh yeah, and your tenses rarely, if ever, agree!"
    Number 19... As an editor, she gets final say in what I can and cannot write about in my FGF posts. She is pretty lenient, but she does have a few topics that I have to tread lightly around. They include my mother-in-law, Catholic priests and salty language... in no particular order.
    Number 18.. She actually agreed to marry me on our second date. I had her ring size and everything after eating ice cream at Friendly's in Crofton. We waited six weeks to make it official, you know, so  people wouldn't think that we were rushing into anything.
    Number 17... She says the same prayer almost every day before I leave in the morning, and she often thanks me for going off to work every day. I often wonder, what is she doing behind my back that she is so anxious that I am happy to leave every day?
    Number 16... I have never, ever, ever, ever, thought, for one second, that she would actually do anything behind my back.  
    Number 15... She has never, ever, ever, ever, thought, for one second, that I would actually do anything behind her back... which is nice because it makes it kind of easy for me to do stuff behind her back, hee hee!
    Number 14... She thinks I'm cute!
    Number 13... She is funny about money. She will worry aloud whether or not we have enough money to eat at the Green Turtle, yet in the very next breath she will tell me that we have to donate a couple hundred dollars to some worthy cause or to a friend in need.
    Number 12... She is devoted to her Catholic faith (another topic that I need to tread lightly around). Don't tell her this, but there are times when I question things about the Catholic church just to see her get all upset and irritated. Did I mention that she thinks I'm cute?
    Number 11... My mother likes Cheryl better than she likes me. That is when you know that she is a good daughter-in-law!
    Number 10... She absolutely loves baseball! Okay, she really, really likes baseball! Alright, she enjoys going to watch the boys play baseball... when it is nice and warm. I'll take that.
     Number 9... No matter what the circumstance, she stays upbeat and often utters that things could be worse and God has a plan! Now I must admit that I don't always appreciate her uttering these things as I am taking the car to the repair shop or paying to have the hot water heater replaced, but she is correct. I mean, I suppose the whole house could have been flooded and not just the basement.
     Number 8... She bundles up in a sweatshirt and covers herself with towels and a scarf over her head whenever we go to the beach and the temperature is below 95 degrees. She looks very Jackie-O-esque when she peers out from behind her scarf her big sunglasses. That is not the part I love... the part I love is that she puts sunblock all over herself before she goes out.
     Number 7... She always makes sure that she uses I and me, we and us and they and them correctly in a sentence. Now, she also can't stop herself from correcting anyone that doesn't... and that can get a little annoying. Go ahead, ask the kids who gets annoyed when she corrects us and they will point at me and answer... us and him! (I am curios to see if she will let this stay in here after she edits it).
     Number 6... She is a wonderful mother to...
     Number 5... Grace
     Number 4... Matthew, and...
     Number 3... Noah.
     Number 2... We have a great life together and I could not imagine sharing it with anybody but her... no matter what I might say about Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. On a side note, Brad Pitt is my hero!
      And the Number 1 reason I love my wife...
      I often say, Cheryl is the nicest person that God has ever put on this earth. Many people would agree and have told me that your wife is the most easy going person and she must be such a joy to be around everyday.  
     To this I say... she is... just as long as she has enough toilet paper!
     I love you, Cheryl.  Happy anniversary.