Funny Guy Friday... First day of home school...

   After much debate, we decided to homeschool our kids this year. It is quite an undertaking for Cheryl, as she has three kids, with three very different personalities, in three different grades.
   I must admit that this was more Cheryl's idea than mine. In fact, I am still conflicted with the arrangement. On the one hand, I know Cheryl will do a great job, and the kids will love learning at home. On the other hand, Cheryl, Grace and Noah have what I can only describe as Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS). Matthew appears to have not yet been afflicted with this condition.
   Anyway, SOS is when you start out to do something specific, but get side-tracked by a shiny object. That shiny object could be anything, really, and not necessarily an actual shiny object. If you have ever seen the dog in the movie Up, that gets distracted by squirrels, the squirrel would be the shiny object. In our house, the t.v., or the laptop, or an ipod, or the telephone could be the shiny object.
    I have discussed my concerns with Cheryl, and advised her that I am the principal. I will not be in the classroom, but will set the school's policy:
    Policy number 1---the kids will get up early and get started on the day.  
    Policy number 2---The kids will start their day with a workout so it does not get lost in the day. This will satisfy the physical education requirement of the curriculum.
    Policy number 3---no visitors during school hours.
    Policy number 4--- the kids will take piano lessons. What the heck, adults that can play the piano have always impressed me, and the kids should have some free time on their hands. This will satisfy the music requirement of the curriculum.
    Policy number 5---the kids have been joking about staying in their pajamas all day long, sort of like mom does. No school of mine will have pajamas as the school uniform, so the kids will get dressed every day.  
    So, day one started much like any other public school day---Matthew was up bright and early with an earache. I had to explain to the big man that there are no more "stay home" sick days because every day is "stay home" day---nice try!  At least he was up early, so he was off to a good start.
    I left the house at about 8:00, and he was the only student awake. I told Cheryl she should wake the other two, but she never did. She told me that this was part of her master plan. Matthew is an early riser, and her strategy was for Matthew to get started before the other two woke up. This was the first I had heard of this strategy, and I got the feeling that "strategies" are going to be whatever happens to fit at that particular time. Her policy appears to be that there is no set policy. Clearly, homeschool policy number 1 was not going to be followed. No problem, there are still four more policies.
   I called at about 9:30 to see how the day was progressing, and was advised that Grace was still in bed, Noah was eating breakfast and Matthew had completed his math, and was on to social studies. What about policy number 2? What happened to the workout that I, as principal, had commanded? Well, it seems that Matthew was going to wait for Grace to join him later on in the day. Hmmm, not sure if policy number 2 is going to fare any better than policy number 1.
   I called again at 1:00, but Cheryl could not talk because her sister Karen had popped in. Seriously, I am not making this up. Cheryl told me that Karen was just stopping by for a minute on her way home from the beach... with her three children.
   I called again at 2:30 and Karen answered the phone. I mentioned the homeschool thing, and she advised that they were having lunch and then recess. I advised that lunch had been going on for more than an hour, and that recess appeared to have started at about 9:15 that morning. Karen was advised that, although I love her dearly, she and her three kids (also homeschoolers---do any of them actually take part in the school part of homeschooling?) don't have to go home, but they have to leave my school, er uh house, as they were clearly violating policy 3.
   Do I even have to mention that we have two pianos in our house, and neither one of them was touched all day long. I take that back, it appears that someone had a bowl of cereal and left the milk-filled bowl on the piano in the yellow room. Not sure that counts as compliance with policy number 4. I am saying no, it does not!
   I arrived home at about 4:00 and Grace was just getting started on her math work. I told her that the idea was to have things done early and not have to be doing school work into the night. It is not home-night-school.
   I asked how her workout went. Not done yet for three reasons. First, she and Matthew could not agree on what workout they were going to do, and apparently their disagreement took so long that they did not have time to work out. Second, Aunt Karen came over and that kind of "messed up" the day. Third, she did not get up until 11:00 a.m. Wow, a trifecta of violations---three of my policies violated in one explanation. At least she was dressed in a pair of sweats. Of course, for all I know she wore sweats to bed the night before.
   I was understandably irritated by day 1 of homeschooling so I decided to leave the house to run an errand. I expressed my "concerns" to Cheryl on the way out, and was told that I was not giving it a chance, and that things will get better. I would have been more reassured if Cheryl were not arguing her case dressed in her pajamas.
   Well, I am happy to report that days 2 and 3 went better. I have decided that I will back off and let anarchy rule the school. Actually, Cheryl did make a schedule.
   I have often been told that I have to get on the Cheryl "Happy Train," where everybody always gets to where they are supposed to be, and everything always works out. The fact is, it does always work out for Cheryl, so why fight it?
   From this day forward, I am buying a ticket on the Happy Train---this will be my one and only policy. Hopefully, I can implement it better than my wife and kids implemented my old policies. I know one thing for sure, I will be on the train early every day, right after my workout, and I will be dressed in something other than my pajamas.
   I suppose that this transition may be a little tougher than I thought.