Funny Guy Friday… THE TALK...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So I married a funny guy.
     My son Matthew landed the key role of Joseph in the Church Nativity play. Mind you, it had nothing to do with his acting abilities. No, he got the part because his main competition for the role was the real life cousin of the girl playing Mary. They all thought that cousins playing Joseph and Mary was too weird, so the other kid conceded the role. My guess is that Pacino got his first role in a similar fashion.
     During the drive to the opening show---it also happened to be the closing show as it was a one time deal--- Matthew asked me if I was aware of the fact that Joseph did not want to get married to Mary after he found out that she was pregnant. Matthew found this to be a bit odd. I told him that I was aware of that fact, and that I did not think it was odd at all. The conversation that followed relieved me of much anxiety regarding THE TALK.

Me: You know Matthew, it is not really odd if you think about it. Pause, pause, pause.  Do you know how a woman becomes pregnant.
Matthew: Yes. Yeah, I guess it is not that odd now that I think about it.
Me: So you know how all that works.
Matthew: Yeah, I'm good with all that.
Me: Great. You know, Mom is going to ask me some day if I have had this talk with you and we need to be united in our response. We have had THE TALK and we are cool, right?
Matthew: Yeah.

     At this point we exchanged a fist bump to seal the deal.
     I must admit, our little talk went pretty well---way better than I ever expected. Although relieved, I did feel a little bit guilty for not really following up on the details. He told me he was good with all that, so why give the boy the fourth degree? I trust him.
     As we continued our drive, I felt the need to be a responsible adult and follow up. The conversation continued:

Me: You know, mom is not going to give up easy on this, don't you?
Matthew: Yeah.
Me: Okay, someday---but not today---I will ask you what it is that you think that you know, and after you tell me, I will confirm the information with mom, and let you know if you are on the right track or not. Good?
Matthew: Yeah. 

     Followed by a second fist bump.
     Whew! Now my conscience was clear, and my work was done.
     Now when I informed Cheryl that we had had THE TALK, she required details. I told her that there was a little of this, a little of that and we bumped fists. She was not sold on the idea that my work was done. In fact, she insisted that I re-open the discussion and find out everything that the boy knows, and that I fill in the blanks. No way, you wanted to home school, you home school. I took care of the basics and now you deal with the details.
     Besides, I informed her that I may not be the right guy for the job. I explained to her that I consider myself akin to the great quarterback to whom the game comes so easily that it prevents him from being a good coach. These types of superior athletes just cannot relate to the players with lesser skills. 
     To this she replied that I was pathetic. I am assuming/hoping that she is referring to my parenting skills.
     This whole experience reminds me of the time that I walked in on my brother having THE TALK with his son. I did not know what was going on, but I did get the hint that I should leave. I left and went to the store and ran into my sister-in-law who gave me the heads-up of what was going on at their house. She asked me how it seemed to be going and I told her that it seemed to be going well, that my brother was wide eyed and was doing a lot of nodding and saying things like Really! I never knew that! to my 10-year-old nephew.  
     So there you have it, a great day in my evolution as a parent. And to think, I have a seven-year-old that will be ready for THE TALK in just a few years. Hopefully, his older brother clues him in on whatever it is that he thinks he knows and three years from now, we can have a similar in-depth chat---sealed with a gratifying knuckle bump. Seriously, it's not like the future generations hang in the balance.
   Or do they? I get so confused over all that stuff.