November

Matthew 13.
Hindsight is 2020.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Funny Guy Friday… It's official---I'm old...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband, Mark. So… I married a funny guy...
     Do you remember when you were a kid and you thought that your parents were so clueless about current events? That they were the most out of touch people in the world? They didn't know any of the big actors or actresses of the day. They couldn't name but a handful of popular athletes. They didn't know the words to any of the top songs or anything about the the singers that sang them. And they never saw a good movie. They were sad. They were pathetic. They were, dare I say it…..old.
      This past week's events have convinced me that I am now officially like my parents. This did not just happen over night; no, this has been going on for years. I trace my de-evolution back to the day that my first child was born. Before that, I would go to movies, I would watch TV, and I would listen to my stereo.
      On a side note, I doubt that my kids even know what a stereo is. I remember getting a stereo for Christmas one year. It was one of the greatest gifts ever. It was like having a huge piece of furniture in your bedroom that played all your albums, 8 tracks and cassettes. That's right: albums, 8 tracks and cassettes. If my kids ever found an album, they would spend fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to get the big black DVD into the DVD player. Which is funny because I take fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to get an actual DVD in to the DVD player. Nowadays, my kids are able to download an infinite number of songs into a tiny machine that is so small that they lose it at least twice a week between the cushions of our couch.
      Back to my first born----when she came along, I walked around the house singing The Prettiest Girl in The World song. You have never heard of that song? It goes something like this:        
       Grace is the prettiest girl!
       Grace is the prettiest girl!
       The prettiest girl,
       The prettiest girl,
       The prettiest girl in the wooorld!
    That's it! I wrote it, I performed it, and I still love to sing it! Besides that song, Born to Run, and Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, I don't know all the words to any other songs.  Shoot, when I saw highlights of Adele on the Grammys (I didn't actually watch the show), I learned for the first time that she is not a large black woman. Who knew?
    Then came the Oscars. I have never heard of any of the winners, except Meryl Streep. Personally, I thought she was deserving of it based on her performance in Kramer vs. Kramer. Seems like it is a little overdue, but she finally got it. Good for her. Has she made other movies since that one? Who knew?
     I also have never seen any of the best picture nominees. Actually, I had never even heard of most of them. But just for fun, I would like to present my own personal Oscars, based on the movies that I have seen in the past year. The accounting firm of  Williams, George, Budinger and Evans have tabulated the votes, and without further ado, here are your nominees and your winners:
     Best Actor: Your nominees are...  Duane "The Rock" Johnson, from the movie Journey 2 the Mysterious Island; Alvin, from the movie Chipwrecked; Simon, from movie Chipwrecked; and Theodore, from the movie Chipwrecked.
     Your winner is… Duane "The Rock" Johnson. Nobody bounces berries off of his pecs like the Rock.
    Best Actress: Your nominees are... the girl from High School Musical, I think her name is Vanessa Hudgens, from the movie Journey 2 the Mysterious Island; Brittany from Chipwrecked, Jeannette from Chipwrecked, and Eleanor from Chipwrecked.
    Your winner is… Brittany from the movie Chipwrecked. Her moves in the dance-off were ridiculous.
     Best Film: Your nominees are... Journey 2 the Mysterious Island and Chipwrecked.
     And your winner is Journey 2 the Mysterious Island. I am tired of the Chipmunk series. What's that? Journey 2 is a sequel? I never saw the first one, so it is all new to me.
     On to the NBA All Star game. Finally, this was in my wheel house; I love sports. There I would know some stuff. The first event had me thinking… if you have a celebrity basketball game and nobody knows any of the celebrities, isn't it just like any old pick up game down at the local community center? Seriously, I had no idea who any of these guys were.
     The next event was the three point shooting contest. I was proud of the fact that I knew the two finalists. I was on a cool roll. But that was small potatoes as the next event was the Dunk Contest. This event is the crown jewel of All Star weekend. Legends like Jordan, Dominique, and Dr. J have all thrilled us with high flying action. I could not wait.
     Wait a second. Who are Derrick Williams, Paul George, Chase Budinger, and Jeremy Evans. If you guessed that they are the four names I made up as my accounting firm, you would be right. If you guessed the four guys in the slam dunk contest, you would also be right. Who are these guys? You know it is bad when you recognize the guys they are jumping over more than the guys who are doing the jumping. I mean, I have heard of P-Diddy---I have no idea what he is famous for, but I have heard of him.
     Anyway, I will admit that the dunks were exciting to watch, and I would have tweeted my vote for my favorite dunker, but I have no idea how to tweet.
     So the long and the short of it is that I am sad... I am pathetic... and I am... dare I say it? I am old. This was driven home by my daughter when she asked me to guess whom she thought was good looking, for an older actor. I suggested Paul Newman, but she had no idea whom I was talking about. The person she was talking about was… Tom Cruise.
      Funny, I think I saw Derrick Williams jump over him during the dunk contest.

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