Funny Guy Friday… Our Royal Palace

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark.  So… I married a funny guy.
    I have to question how anything ever gets done in our home. The other day, we were getting ready to leave the house to go to Matthew's doubleheader. I had made sandwiches and put together some food to eat between games. I asked Grace to go and get the cooler and, if necessary, to clean it out. After about five minutes, Matthew came into the kitchen and asked me if I could, you guessed it…….clean out the cooler.
    Gracie heard the request and got very upset with Matthew, and questioned why he would interrupt me and ask me to clean out the cooler. A bit confused, I asked Grace since I had asked her to do this very job, why then would she turn right around and ask Matthew to do it. I mean if I had wanted Matthew to do it, I could have cut out the middle man and gone right to Matthew. I never thought that this was the type of job that you sub-contract out to your younger brother. When she confirmed that I had asked her to clean the cooler, I questioned why she would then go ask Matthew to do it. And out of curiosity, why would she be mad that Matthew wanted to sub-contract the job back to me.
    In a very honest moment, she gave the obvious answer.  I just don't want to do it!  And I didn't want you to know that I don't want to do it.  Plus there was a bug in it; I think it was a gazillapede.  That must have been some bug.
    After the games, we stopped and bought some steaks to grill. Everyone helped prepare a delicious meal, and the kids actually set the table---not the counter where we normally eat, but that laundry storage table that we keep in our kitchen. Who knew you could eat off of that thing?
     Anyway, after dinner, I was exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to coach a double header! Like a King, I announced that Cheryl and I were going to go and sit in the living room and the kids were to clean the kitchen. In actuality, I was going to go lie down, and I couldn't really order the Queen to clean the kitchen, so I included her in on my anticipated nap and turned to the bourgeoisie to get the job done.
     As Cheryl and I laid on the couch together, we recalled the days of yore when we would get a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream and snuggle on the couch and watch TV together. Chunky Monkey is banana ice cream with chunks of chocolate and walnuts. I don't like chocolate and Cheryl does not like walnuts so it was the perfect ice cream to share. We had it all…..ice cream, nuts, chocolate and two spoons. We were in love without a care in the world…….nor did we have a kid in the world. Kids ruin everything.
    As we laid there reminiscing, Noah was the first to crash the party. He was appalled that his parents were lying together on the couch. He decided to join in. Actually, he decided to climb on the back of the couch and dangle his feet over us. Although he typically is the best helper when it comes to cleaning, he was not interested in the kitchen project. Since he is the youngest…..and the cutest……we excused him from his duties. However, his new found free time came with a price. He was ordered out of the room to go practice piano. He climbed off of the couch and sulked away complaining about not being big enough to practice by himself.  Too bad, go practice.
    Thirty seconds later, Grace busted in with her regular complaint about emptying and loading the dishwasher. Before she got to her complaint, she too registered shock and horror that her parents would actually lie together on the coach…. snuggling like you are all in love and stuff.  She mentioned that we should get a room.  WE HAVE A ROOM……WE HAVE  A HOUSE WITH LOTS OF ROOMS……WHY DON'T YOU STAY OUT OF OUR ROOMS WHEN WE ARE IN THE ROOMS TOGETHER…..WITHOUT YOU…..AND WITHOUT YOUR BROTHERS!!!
    Anyway, it appeared that Matthew would not do the simple chore of unloading the dishwasher. If you are noticing an uncanny ability of Grace to delegate, you would not be wrong. She loves to to be the boss. Unfortunately, she does not command the respect of her underlings. Actually, she does not have any underlings making it tough to be the boss.
    Of course, Matthew had to defend himself from Grace's slander so he joined the fun. As he entered the room, he too looked confused and asked, What are you and Mom doing? 
     Really? Really? Is it really so crazy that Cheryl and I would lie together on the couch? Oh yeah, remember that nap thing that the King was going to enjoy. Not so much.
     I asked Grace why she could not load the dishwasher. Because it makes me throw up!  Really. Wow, I have never seen this phenomenon. When have you ever thrown up when loading the dishwasher? Well….er, uh, never….But I would if I had to do it! So what I am hearing is that you have never done it, but if you had done it, you would have thrown up. Correct. Let's check this theory out; go load the dishwasher and call us when you vomit.
    After practicing the piano for what seemed like 8 seconds………mainly because it was 8 seconds, Noah returned to the living room. Now we had a full house, a pair of parents and three kids, all in the King and Queen's living room.
    None of them would leave, so the King flexed his muscles and ordered everyone out of the room and to report to the kitchen and to the piano. Unfortunately, the mood was broken….. and we did not actually have Chunky Monkey ice cream…..so Cheryl opted to go help Noah despite my urging to stay. Noah is sneaky cute and she was falling for it. I was left all alone.
    It is lonely being King. I had very few options available so I did the only thing that I could do to help me out of this pitiful situation…..I closed my eyes and took a nap.
    When I woke up, I left the living room and went through our kitchen into the family room where the kids were watching TV.  I recall the kids going in and out of the front door a couple times and was a bit irritated that they were so loud that they interrupted my short little nap. I looked at the clock and was shocked to find out that I just taken two hour nap. Matthew had left and come home from a friend's home. The door opening and closing was him leaving and him coming home……two hours later.
     A bit groggy and confused, I got up to go to the kitchen for some water. The royal kitchen was a royal mess. It seems that we were not as precise in our instructions because all they did was move the stuff off of the laundry table onto the counter. They claimed that we only asked them to clear the table and they did, in fact, clear the table. I suppose they would have been justified to put everything in the bedrooms as long as it was off of the original table.
     At this point a ROYAL PROCLAMATION came down from on high. The gang of three cleaned the kitchen. Nobody complained, nobody sub-contracted the work out, nobody supervised. And get this, Grace never threw up.
    Although there are times when our house could be cleaner and the kids could listen a little bit better, we do all right. Even better than we did before we had kids. It turns out that a full house beats a King and Queen……with or without some Chunky Monkey.