Funny Guy Friday... I'll see your sacrifice, and I'll raise you one......

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So... I married a funny guy...
    What a week for our little Catholic family. It is the beginning of Lent, and we started it off with the annual pancake supper on Fat Tuesday. As we feasted on fruity chocolate pancakes, the topic of the dinnertime conversation turned to What are you giving up for Lent?
     Leave it up to us to make it a competition.
     Matthew started the bidding at electronics. Noah called the electronics and added drawing. Gracie is eating only food on the 17-Day Diet. Matthew and Noah globbed onto that and then suggested that since everyone is doing the 17-Day Diet, Grace has to add to her sacrifice.
     Grace is the least competitive sacrificer and strongly disagreed with their suggestion. She emphatically stated that she would not give up electronics but conceded to exercising daily (not that big of a deal because she does that already). I decided to give up facebook, exercise more, and curse less... a trifecta of sacrifices. I don't curse a whole lot, but any cursing is too much. Then Cheryl dropped the grand daddy of all sacrifices... she is going to give up talking.
     Wait a second... You can't give up talking, said........ everyone in the room.
     Yes, I can... But I don't mean talking altogether. Just over-talking. I tend to over-talk by giving long drawn out explanations. I use too many words to get my point across when fewer words will do. I tend to use fifty words instead of seven. It can be an annoying habit, this whole over talking thing. People need to listen longer because I go over things two, three, four times just to make my point. You see brevity is the key to life... and to humor, but sometimes I am not brief... sometimes I am not funny but that is a different story altogether. What I really want to convey is that I tend to say many words when a few will do. I tend to go on and on. 
     Gee honey, I never noticed. 
     If you are keeping score at home, I stuck with the trifecta, Cheryl went with "no talking," and raised it with fasting from facebook as well. Both of the boys went with interesting combinations: Matthew added cold showers to his original no-screens commitment... and Noah will sleep on his floor, give up ice in his drinks (not sure where that came from), in addition to no gaming on the computer. Gracie stuck with the 17-Day Diet... Oh, and she added giving up listening to music. Well... she'll only listen to Christian music, anyway.
     Ash Wednesday was day one of Lent, and I am sad to report that things were not going well. I have three clients that have hired me for my alleged legal expertise. All three called to get my advice and all three spent 15 minutes explaining to me why I was wrong. For the record, I was right. After the third call in the span of 90 minutes, I had had enough. It was as if I had no control over what was spewing out of my mouth. Seriously, though, why pay me so that you can ignore me? It seems to me, that people can ignore me for free. Cheryl has done it for years.
     When I got home from work that evening, Cheryl was talking up a storm. There did not appear to be any difference between the old, over-talking Cheryl and the new, only talk when I need to talk Cheryl.  When I pointed out my observation, Cheryl indicated that what she was saying needed to be said. She also pointed out that after she finished saying what needed to be said, she would go right back to not talking. 
     I get it... Cheryl is giving up talking unless she has something to say. I kind of like that. I am giving up all cursing unless there is something to curse about, and then I will go right back to not cursing. Whew, I feel better already. 
     Gracie is struggling because the 17-Day Diet requires that you have food in the house that is on the 17-Day Diet, and Noah spent the first night nestled between Cheryl and me (technically not a violation because he was not in his bed, but it violates the intent of the sacrifice rule). Plus, he was halfway through his nice cold lemonade before he remembered the ice thing. 
     Matthew reports that he took a cold shower, but we are completely relying upon self-reporting for that one... although I am sure there will come a day when Noah will sneak in the shower in an attempt to out him. 
     In spite of our rough start, we looked forward to the Ash Wednesday Mass. In fact, Matthew was serving on the altar. We arrived almost thirty minutes early, which is unprecedented... we actually beat the priests to the church. Typically, we sit in the end section where you can sneak in without much notice, but on this day, we had the whole church to ourselves. Gracie, being the creature of habit that she is, led us to our regular spot in the late section. 
     All of these great seats in a near-empty church and there we sat, tucked away in the late section. The pastor approached, and before he could ask what in the hell we were doing in the late section when all of the prime spots were open, I volunteered that we were there to report on people who would come in late. He advised that he does not care about the late arrivals, but he would appreciate a heads-up on the early-leavers. For the record, there was only one, and fortunately for her, I did not know her name.
     The celebrant gave a great homily about how we need to guard against distraction... and be vigilant and strong with our Lenten sacrifices because there is one who is never distracted and is watching our every move. I turned to Cheryl and wondered aloud about how the priest knew our nosy neighbors. Cheryl advised me that he was talking about the devil. I knew that.
     Then it dawned on me, it was perfect devil stuff... first day of Lent and I get three back to back to back calls from clients that drive me crazy. I took my eye off of the ball for five minutes and he took advantage. Oh, he is a sneaky little guy, that devil.
     Day one was my wake up call, now I am ready. Fortunately, I still have thirty nine more days to get it right. I must admit, it would be much easier to concentrate on the task at hand if I could just get Cheryl to stay quiet.

     On a separate but related topic, Matthew advised me that the Pope gave up being the Pope for Lent. And I thought that Cheryl was making a big sacrifice. Please pray for the Church to select a worthy successor. If you want to read about my favorite Pope story, check out this Funny Guy Friday from a couple of years ago.