Funny Guy Friday... Napping and watching whatever... not...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     So... Last Sunday, I woke up feeling sick as a dog.
     In fact, I had been waking up feeling bad for five or six days prior, but that Sunday was worse. When I get up and move around, I usually start to feel better, so I assumed that this day would be no different. So, I got up and got ready for church. After church, we went to breakfast and then headed for home.
     Typically, even if I am sick, I tell Cheryl that I feel fine and press on.
     I do this for a couple of reasons... first, stuff has to get done, and there is only so much time in a day. Second, if I should mention that I have a headache, Cheryl will all of the sudden come down with a migraine. Then she is down for the count, and I have twice the load.
     I am always reminded of the time we met an old Chinese man in a pet store who was looking at a goldfish and blinking. After thirty seconds, the goldfish was blinking just like the man. Cheryl asked how he did that and he responded, I control his mind with my mind.  Cheryl then tried the same thing and after thirty seconds of blinking, I caught Cheryl moving her lips just like the goldfish.
     I got a million of them... Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses!
     Anyway, as time went on, I was not feeling any better, so I went upstairs to lie down.
     As is usual, Noah was soon by my side, snuggling away.
     These are the best of times, so I decided that I would skip the nap and try to find a movie to watch with my boy. As I was flipping through the channels, I found Gladiator. I had never seen this movie before but it was on a regular cable channel so I decided, how bad could it be. Did I refer to him as a boy? Forget that... Noah is my nine-year-old man.
     We weren't two minutes into it when SHE walked into the room.
     SHE, of course, is Cheryl.
     The first thing she did is to make me turn the volume down to a level only a dog could hear. Funny thing about the volume for our TV in our bedroom... when we are watching stuff that SHE likes, the TV is blasted. On the other hand, when we are watching my shows, she claims the volume is so high it gives her a headache and is "just so loud."
     Then the interrogation began...
     Is this appropriate for Noah?
     Yes.
     Have you seen it before? 
     No. 
     How can you say it is okay if you've never seen it before... do you have the remote to turn the channel or mute it if necessary? 
     I have never seen it, so how would I know when to turn the channel or mute it... it is on regular TV. How bad can it be?
     At about this time, some king was lying down on a bed with a women who we thought was his sister... What could go wrong here? I thought.
     Well... this turned a bit awkward when the king started touching his sister's neck in a way that I have never seen a brother touch a sister... so SHE turned off the TV.
     I eventually restored order, regaining control of the remote, and began to scan for a different, more appropriate movie.
     BINGO... the greatest movie of all time... The Godfather.
     I love that movie and will watch it a hundred times out of a hundred. I decided that this was an opportune time to teach Noah all of life's lessons that you can learn from the Corleone family. For example... A man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man... or Keep your friends close but your enemies closer... or Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men... and of course, Leave the gun... take the cannolis. 
     SHE reared her interruptive head once again and questioned whether The Godfather was a good option for Noah.
     No problem. I've seen this a thousand times and I know the exact times to turn the channel or turn down the sound.
     Oh yeah, like when you watched it with Matthew. 
     That was operator error. I know what I am doing now! 
     When I watched The Godfather with Matthew, I was prepared to skip over the bad parts. The first bad part was when Sonny was with a woman that was not his wife. In my efforts to fast forward past that part, I hit the wrong button, and there he was... ahem..."being with a woman that was not with his wife" in slow motion. Fortunately, on that occasion, Matthew acted quickly and took over the remote.   
     Cheryl didn't trust me. No... turn it off or find something else to watch. 
     SHE does not share my affection for Francis Ford Coppola's masterpiece. SHE feels that it has too much violence and adult content. Noah was on my side, and we made our case. It was two against one... so I am sure that you know how this turned out... We watched the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit instead, of course.
     The Godfather was too violent and had too many adult themes, but Roger Rabbit is okay. Let's see... Roger Rabbit has a crazed, corrupt judge that has eyes that turn into daggers and an arm that becomes a buzz saw in an effort to kill a good-guy detective working for a crazy rabbit and his love interest, the ultra-voluptuous, Jessica Rabbit. And let me just say this, there is not a single woman in The Godfather that looks or dresses like Jessica Rabbit. I don't even think she is anatomically correct, for crying out loud!
     I suppose if The Godfather were a cartoon, it would have been okay.
     At the conclusion of Roger Rabbit, SHE turned off the TV, forcing both Noah and me out of the room... and then SHE shut her eyes and fell asleep, claiming that her head hurt.
     So to review... I was sick and went up to take a nap. Noah joined me, so we decided to snuggle up and watch a movie. SHE came into the room and made us turn down the volume, made us turn the channel (twice), and then made us turn off the TV all together so SHE could take a nap. Her actions forced her sick husband and young son out of the room to fend for themselves.
     Kind of ironic because that is exactly what Noah and I were doing when SHE barged into the bedroom in the first place.