Funny Guy Friday... One ringy dingy... two ringy dingy...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     We were sitting in the pew... glued to every word the priest had to offer. Well, not every word because my mind tends to wander... what... with baseball season getting started and teams to be selected and little baseball hearts to break.
     Anyway, in the midst of the homily, Father Lewis was speaking about the Eucharist and the necessity of important things that set us... as a people, and as a Church... apart. The Eucharist is not something that you should take for granted, and you wouldn't just give it away.
     He then asked us all to think of something special... more specifically, he asked the married couples to think of something that they have on... at this very moment, something that you are wearing right now... that you would never just give away.
     I looked at Cheryl and she looked lovingly at me and told me...
     I really do love these earrings!  I would never give these earrings away!
     Father Lewis then answered his own question... your wedding ring! You would never just give away your wedding ring!
     Of course, the priest was talking about our wedding rings... The ring is a wonderful symbol of love placed on the finger that leads directly to our hearts, and shaped like a circle because the ring, like our love, has no end.
     Since the day we got married, I have never, not once, ever considered removing my wedding ring from my finger!
     Well, that is not exactly true.
     There was this time on our honeymoon, when I was swimming in the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Caribbean Sea. I was fooling around with my ring and tossed it to Cheryl, figuring that even if it dropped, I could easily find it. I mean, the Caribbean has the clearest water in the world. It also has this stuff called sand at the bottom of it. I mean, the water is so clear that you can see right down to the sand as you swim around... you really can't miss the stuff. Anyway, this sand stuff just gobbled that ring  right up.
     Four hours of searching and it was never to be found. One week into our marriage and I had lost my ring. Cheryl was so upset that I called the jeweler from Saint Barth's and ordered a new ring with the exact same inscription... Share My Life 4/25/92. 
     The new ring cost me a hundred dollars, and the phone call from Saint Barth's cost me eighty. Oh well... it made my new bride happy.
     She remained happy, right up until a couple of years later when I was sitting on a deck at a local restaurant overlooking the South River. I was out with people from work and was waiting for our waitress. I was bored. So I did what I always do when I am bored... I took off my wedding ring and spun it on the table, attempting to stop it by putting my thumb and my pointer finger inside the ring. I am sure you know what I am talking about... everybody does it. Right? I mean... everybody does do this... Right?
     Well, I am pretty good at this little game. Except on this particular day. The ring hit off my finger and twirled to my thigh... it bounced off of my thigh and onto my chair... it then bounced off my chair... hit one of the two-by-six deck boards at my feet... bounced up in the air and twirled around a time or two... and then fell right between two more deck boards... right into the South River.
     And get this, it did it all in slow motion with my reaching and grabbing for it at every stage of the plunge.
     I ordered a third ring. This time, the jeweler said... Same inscription? Share My Life 4/25/92?
     Yes, how do you remember that?
     I usually don't make three of them!
     Ouch!
     Okay, this third one... I have never, not once ever considered removing this third one... except when I play basketball. I mean, I don't want to get my finger caught up in the rim when I dunk! I mean, I could cut my hand up and possibly lose a finger that way!
     For those of you that just spit out your coffee at the thought of me dunking... Just know that I hate you!
     After Mass, as we walked out to the car, I confronted Cheryl about her earring comment. She immediately turned and said she was kidding... that she knew the whole time he was talking about our wedding rings... I mean, what else could he have been talking about! You couldn't possibly think that I was serious? 
     Yes I could, I said sheepishly in the best little kid voice that I could muster.
     Of course, I knew he meant our rings. Seriously, what else could it have been. I was just teasing you and as usual... you are like a mouse to my cat!
     I must admit that I felt pretty silly about the whole thing. Not because I mistakenly thought that Cheryl felt more of a connection to her earrings than to her wedding ring.
     No, I felt bad because when Father Lewis asked us to think of something that we were wearing, something that we cherish, something that we would never consider just giving away, the only thing that I could come up with was... my new shoes.
     But to be fair, they are a sweet pair of chestnut brown loafers that fit... and feel... like a comfy pair of slippers.
     And don't forget, baseball season is approaching... and I have teams to select... and little baseball hearts to break... and my mind tends to wander!