Funny Guy Friday... Can we please stick to the schedule?

    Funny Guy Friday is written by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    I have to admit, it has been five years and I am still trying to figure out how homeschool works. Cheryl used to have all three of our kids home, but now there is only one... Noah. You would think that it would be easier... but I don't see it that way.
    First of all, with only one kid, there should be less to plan. If you also thought that, you too would be wrong. The generals that planned the attack at Normandy Beach did less planning than Cheryl does for Noah's school day. She has worked for weeks tinkering to come up with the perfect schedule.
    The schedule that she developed is not only functional... clearly laying out what days they will study what subject and at what time... but it is also beautiful. That baby is color-coded with eight separate colors, and as if that is not enough, it is laminated to add additional certainty.
    I have reviewed the schedule, and Noah's days include such classic subjects as Math, World History, Geography and Music. But they also incorporate other non-conventional and grueling subjects as Play Time, Stretch, Quick Tidy and Quiet Time... and my personal favorite: Grocery Store. Not exactly sure what Grocery Store is but I like it... I think it means that Noah is making something good for dinner!
    But those are not the only off-beat subjects. Noah starts every day at 8 a.m. with Morning Basket. I really don't know what Morning Basket is, but I think the "Basket" in Morning Basket is our bed. Why, you ask?... because every morning at 8:15 when I leave for work, both Noah and Cheryl are lying in my bed showing no signs of starting the day any time soon. 
    Noah actually starts his day at 7:15 a.m. when his new alarm clock sounds. That thing sounds like a bomb getting ready to blow. It only stops when I enter his room to turn it off because he sleeps right through it. The other two kids were able to sleep through their alarm clocks also... but not until their teenage years. Noah is only eleven, so he is advanced. I am so proud.
    Sleep is important, so I usually don't wake him for another half hour, at which time he staggers into our room and lies in the spot previously occupied by yours truly. Both Cheryl and Noah claim that this is the beginning of an action-packed school day.
    I am not so sure about that...
    The other day, I came home early and both Noah and Cheryl were still lying in my bed. In fairness to Noah, he did have on different clothes so I have to assume that he got out of bed at some point during the day. As for Cheryl, let's just say that I cannot make that same assumption.
    As I walked in the room and gave both teacher and student "the look", Noah looked up and said... Oh, Mom, we forgot to do school today! 
    And they wonder why I worry! I can only hope that he was kidding!
    As I type this at 11 p.m. on Thursday, Noah and Cheryl are doing Math at the kitchen table. This cannot be! The schedule ends at 5 p.m. Well not exactly. From 5:00 until 9:00 he has Evening Basket.
    Who knows... I stopped asking what this stuff is.
    Whether the day ends at 5:00 or 9:00, Math at 11:00 is not part of the schedule.
    I have tried to explain to anyone that will listen that the schedule only works if you stick to the schedule. If we disregard the schedule, we have home school anarchy!
    They try to tell me that the beauty of homeschooling is the flexibility that it provides.
    So why, then, do we need a schedule?  
    We have friends coming over tomorrow, so we want to get everything done tonight. 
    Wait, where is that on the schedule?  There are no friends scheduled for tomorrow!
    Oh Dad, you will never understand Home Schooling!
    This is true. I may never understand Home Schooling. At least not tonight because it is late and I am tired.
    It is 11:30 and my own personal schedule calls for some Evening Basket.
    Two can play at this game!