Funny Guy Friday... A little advice in these strange times...

    Funny Guy Friday is written by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    I went off of Facebook for Lent so it has been about nearly a month since I logged on to see what was going on in the world.  I have no idea what you have been eating, what your talented children have accomplished, or which idiot/brilliant politician has done what to whom.  So tell me... What have I missed?
    What's that?... The country is on lock down? What? How is this possible? 
    Of course, I am kidding.
    I did not give up watching the news for Lent, so unfortunately I do get daily updates.
    Since this all started, I have begun each morning by playing a traditional little dice game called Shut the Box.  This is a game with number tiles 1 through 9 standing tall in a row, and as you roll the dice, you shut the numbers that add up to what you roll.  The goal is to shut the box with no numbers standing.  Each morning before I leave, I tell Cheryl that the fate of my whole day rests upon whether or not I can shut the box... or at least have a reasonably low number remaining.
    The lower the number, the better the day.
    The higher the number, the worse the day.
    It is kind of based on science and is difficult to explain to the untrained board game players... so I won't even try.
    You would think that there would be a lot of high scores lately.... and there have been.  Each day you hear about the number of people getting the coronavirus, the death count, the lack of equipment, the quarantine and of course, the shut downs.
    My Monday at work was interesting.
    I had just gotten off of a phone call when two of our secretaries came into my office in tears asking what we were going to do.  My response:  About what?
     The Governor just shut down "all Maryland businesses!" (I put that in quotes for a reason.)
     Calmly, I responded:  Everyone needs to settle down and let's figure this out.  This just happened.  I will go talk to Mark Davis (my partner) and we will come up with a plan.  For now, let's stay calm and remember, we are all in the same boat.  We will get through this together.
    Then I confidently marched down the hallway to Mark's office...  I may have even managed a wave of assurance to the clearly shaken employees.
     I entered his office where he was having a discussion with his wife and I said... WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? THE GOVERNOR JUST SHUT ALL MARYLAND BUSINESSES DOWN!  I TOLD THE GIRLS TO SETTLE DOWN BUT THAT IS JUST STUPID ADVICE! I SAID WE WERE IN THE SAME BOAT... BUT WE REALLY AREN'T!  MY BOAT IS WAY WORSE THAN THEIR BOAT! I TOLD THEM THAT WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER BUT ISN'T IT TIME FOR EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF?!  
    Not really.
    We sat and tried to formulate a plan, but there was still so much uncertainty.  As more information rolled in, it turned out the Governor's urgent "shut down" had exceptions for "essential personnel."  As you may or may not know, I am an attorney, but my partner and I also own a title company and a real estate company.
    Who knew that all three would be deemed essential?
    I don't ask why; I just am thankful we could stay open... along with the liquor stores and the pot shops.  While I am on the topic... why did they have to shut down the golf courses?  Frankly, I am addicted to golf and will have withdrawals if I can't play for months.  Anyway, now we have to figure out how to keep our businesses open when there is nobody else doing business... but we will figure that part out in time.
    By the close of business that day, I felt like George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life, when he was able to keep the Building and Loan open after Uncle Billy had lost the deposit.  I told everyone that I would see them the next day...  and it kind of meant something.  I told them that they should be sure to say some prayers because you cannot both worry and pray at the same time.
     I really was quite confident and reassuring, and I exhibited what theologian Dr. Taylor Marshall refers to as "non-anxious leadership."  How did I get to be so calm, cool and collected?  How did I become this soothing influence in a sea of craziness.  Well, I am posting this today to let you all in on my little secret.
     Here it is... are you ready?
     It is very easy, and it only requires one thing:  marry my wife, Cheryl.
     You see... there is only one thing in this world that ever upsets my wife and that is me.  Well, not me necessarily, but how things affect me... my worrying to be specific.  And while troubleshooting and... okay...  worrying is not necessarily a bad thing, it cannot be the overriding thing.
    Sure... everyone has to do what they can to help deal with their current circumstances.  Personally, I have decided that I will not shave until the problem is resolved... or until I get tired of growing a beard.  Nearly two weeks in... and the virus is winning because my face feels like it stumbled into a bee hive.  On a side note, although she says she is drawn to the look of it, I do not think Cheryl likes the beard all that much because ever since I started growing it, she has been practicing "safe social distancing"... if you know what I mean.
    I have also been doing a lot of praying because as Cheryl has pointed out:  you cannot both worry and pray at the same time.  I may have stolen that line from her!
    She has also directed me to a blog with Dr. Taylor Marshal that talked about non-anxious leadership.  I dropped Dr. Taylor Marshall's name a few paragraphs back to seem like I was wise enough to seek guidance from theologians that are smarter than I... as if.  The truth is that I had to go back to the blog to see what kind of Dr. this joker is.
     On a separate note, in my opinion, the only non-M.D. that should be referred to as "Doctor" is Dr. J.  Every other non-medical doctor that refers to themselves as Doctor is just someone pretending to be smart and seeking attention!  I digress.
     Okay, so marrying Cheryl may not be as easy now as I made it look when I asked her to marry me after only six weeks of dating.  But you can do the next best thing.  You can surround yourselves with Cheryl-like people.  People whose faith is going to help get you through this.  I am not going into this coronavirus situation with blinders.  While people may disagree with how the government and the churches are dealing with this (I have some suggestions for the Catholic Churches, if anyone is interested), I think one thing is certain, our lives are going to change.
    Or, you, yourself, can strive to be Cheryl-like.  I would recomend that you do so without some of Cheryl's little ideosyncracies that I will not mention at this time, as we may be spending even more time together than normal in the coming weeks.    
    Fortunately, there is one thing that will not change.
    God is looking out for us.  We are going to be okay.  Cheryl lives by this mantra:  All things work together for good to them that love God."... which is way better than my mantra: Things can turn crappy any minute.  I made my mantra up while Cheryl tells me that she stole hers from some Roman guy in the Bible.
     Cheryl says her life has not really changed much.  She wakes up and she prays.  She homeschools Noah (we find these reports of parents struggling with their kids home to be comical), and she goes about the business of the home. She orders her days, she cleans, she plans and makes the meals, and every evening she gathers us together for the Rosary.  She assures me... and everyone else around her... that God has this... we are not in control anyway.  She understands what is happening, and she knows who is in control.
    She reminds me that the results of my daily Shut the Box games are really not scientific and have no bearing on how the day is going to go...  And that every day is a good day...  trust God!
    I never said she was perfect!  Shut the Box really is kind of technical... I'll keep working with her! Some day, she will get it!  
    Hope everyone is staying safe and know that we are praying for you all!  For now, let's stay calm and remember, we are all in the same boat.  We will get through this together.