Funny Guy Friday... Aren't Youth Sports Great?...

    I have grown up around sports and think that, for the most part, I keep things in the right perspective. 
    I have my moments when I get agitated with the 10-year-olds that I coach, as Cheryl was quick to point out after our big win a couple of nights ago---but I digress. 
    Today's FGF is both funny and sad, as it is a real life example of how adults can get a bit too hung up on youth sports. 
     I have a five year old nephew who is playing T-ball. My little man is sweet and funny and just wants to have a chance to grab the ball.  He isn't going to throw anybody out once he gets it, in fact, he may even throw it up in the air just for fun, but what the heck, he's five.
     After two games of playing every inning in right field, my sister-in-law approached the coach and asked if he were planning on ever moving the kids around. This is when all the fun began. 
    Coach Knight (not his real name, just one that I came up with) cut her off and said he would think about it. The next day the team received the following email: 
   Game 1 is officially in the books. The team produced 8 outs tonight which was a huge accomplishment. After words [sic], the coach of the other team thanked me for the scrimmage last week. The game was a wake up call for his players and coaches. It was clear by their performance tonight that they improved greatly within a week.  
    I want to discuss a matter that I thought was made clear at the meet in greet [sic]. Under no circumstance will I or any of my assistant coaches be told how to coach this team. Personally, I have coached for 15 years, coaching a variety of sports from pee-wee up to the collegiate level. On this team, the players will be placed in positions that will benefit the team and provide the greatest opportunity for the player to excel. If a player is limited to a specific position then so be it. I’d rather have them walk away from the season learning one thing than exposing them to every position and learning nothing. If this philosophy is unacceptable for you or your child I will gladly reach out to the other teams who may be able to accommodate your needs. If I hear nothing prior to the next game, I will assume we are all on the same page.
    Wow, quite a coaching philosophy for a bunch of five year olds. I offered up my own response for my sister-in-law to consider. I thought I would share it with the class.
Coach Knight,
Hello, I am an uncle to one of the boys on your T-ball team and I too have coached at various levels including T-Ball, Coach Pitch, 10s, 11s, 12s, 13s, 14s and High School.  I have had the pleasure of coaching kids that have played at the collegiate level, and have had at least three players that I have coached drafted by professional teams, including my own nephew. I too have played at the collegiate level. I have had an opportunity to read your email and have a few observations. 

    First, I would hazard a guess that 11 of your 12 players have no idea whether or not they are playing in positions that benefit the team. In fact, most of your little soldiers have no idea if you win or lose, and only care about the snack after the game. Personally, I prefer chips and a fruity Capri Sun. 
   What it really comes down to is that you and your assistant coaches care about winning and losing. I could be wrong, but I think that you all may be compensating for some shortcoming in your own athletic life.
   Second, I am sure that all the other coaches in your league appreciate getting a good pounding by the juggernaut that you lead. After a good beat down, the opposing coaches have the once in a lifetime opportunity to break down the tape of you and your assistant coaches coaching the boys of summer on to victory. In fact, I am thinking of coming out to shadow your staff to see if I can pick up a few pointers.  I will say it now---on behalf of all of the coaches in your league and Bette Midler----Thank you! Thank you! Thank the Baseball gods for you! The wind beneath our flyballs! 

Third, sometimes, believe it or not, kids have some success at a position that they do not normally play. This success leads to them wanting to come back for more. What a concept---the idea that the kids have fun and enjoy the game and want to come back for more. But another way you can look at it is if  some of the scrubby kids mess up, you get the pleasure of benching them. What fun!
    Fourth, in all of my dealings with kids that play baseball in high school or college, I have never, ever heard one of them talk about their years playing T-ball. I've heard them talk about playing on the slip-and-slide at baseball camp, but never about winning the coveted T-ball world series. 

   Fifth, it is T-ball. They do not even keep score, for goodness sakes. Get over yourself.
   Finally, if they learn only one thing this year, just one thing, it should be that baseball can be fun. Sometimes picking daisies at second base is more fun than picking daisies in right field.
   Thank you for your time and commitment to the team. 

   Well, it turns out that my nephew was able to work himself into a trade. He is no longer on Coach Knight's squad, but will be playing for Coach Day (another made up name---clever aren't I), a nice woman who plays the kids at every position, and probably provides some kick-ass snacks. 

    The best part of the story is that my nephew gets two uniforms.  You go boy---you may never win a game, but you will go away fat and happy and maybe, just maybe, you will want to come out and play again tomorrow.  Have fun my man!