Funny Guy Friday... The Buzz Off...

    The other day, Matthew commented about a talented young man in his class that could really draw great characters. The boy had done several drawings of the Joker from the Batman cartoons. Noah, our six-year-old artist, questioned Mattthew whether he thought that this boy was a better artist than Noah, and if his drawings of characters were better than Noah's.
    Matthew, ever the kind big brother, said that the boy was really good and left it at that. But Noah was having none of that, he wanted more information and requested that Matthew bring home some of these drawings. He then went to get paper and pencil and started drawing his own pictures of the Joker.
    Initially, they were pretty basic, as he made his drawings from his  memory---which was interesting because we don't watch the Batman cartoons, yet the drawings included some pretty specific details. The other day I was going through his little sketch book---yes my six year old has a sketch book---and there was a drawing of the Joker's face that was pretty remarkable.
    This got me to thinking, Noah is not all that interested in sports, but he is very competitive. He can be like a dog with a bone. This whole episode got me to thinking that art could be a competitive sport. I hear Cheryl when she tells Noah that you can't mess up when it comes to art, or art is not right or wrong and there are no losers when it comes to art. 
    To this I say, nonsense! Two people draw the same thing, one is better than the other, that artist wins. How hard is that?
    All of this came to a head when I got home from work, and Noah showed me a drawing he did of Woody from Toy Story. It was really good but I said I could do better. Game on for the little man. We decided that we would each draw Buzz Lightyear and Mom would judge our work. I preferred a more neutral arbitrator, but in the end, we always let Mom decide. I told Noah that we would call this contest, The First Annual Buzz Off!   
    Saturday arrived, the day of the Buzz Off, and I must admit that I was a little nervous. He is really talented and I am not. Clearly, I was the underdog, but I have watched Noah and Cheryl draw, and I have picked up a few things over the years, so I had a puncher's chance. I can look at some stuff and draw some reasonable facsimiles, but I would say they are rudementary at best.
    Of course, this did not stop me from talking trash and getting inside the six year old's head. "Mom likes me best, and last night after you fell asleep she told me she was going to pick my drawing"---this he knew was a lie, so it had no effect. "I tricked you into this contest because when I was your age, I was the State champion Buzz Lightyear drawing guy"----since I was trash talking a six-year-old, I wanted to make sure he understood what I was saying and was appropriatley intimidated. He doesn't even know Buzz Lightyear didn't exist when I was his age, but he was still not fazed. But then I unwittingley did strike a chord when I said, "Once you see my great artwork, you won't know what to do, you will be paralyzed with intimidation and you will be Buzz Frightyear!"  This was a good one especially the Buzz Frightyear reference. It drew a very meek response. "Nuh-uh," he said.
    I had him. I was in his little pea brain.
    Gentleman, start your pencils---Game on!
    I jumped out of the gate and started on Buzz's head. Noah does not operate like that. He tends to start with a smaller detail and work back to the bigger picture. He watched me and he saw that my picture was coming along quite nicely and was looking very much like Buzz Lightyear. He was surprised by my talent and frankly, so was I. As he watched me, he kept starting and stopping his own drawing and erasing what he thought were mistakes. He then wanted to use one of his practice drawings of Buzz Lightyear---yes he practiced the night before---but I said no, that was against the rules.
    I was like a shark smelling blood in the water. He was intimidated. He was like LeBron in the fourth quarter of the NBA finals. The best artist in the room and he couldn't perform. I was winning. I was actually winning.
    Okay, as I re-read this, it seems kind of silly that I was taking great pleasure in this, and in retrospect, I could have handled it differently. BUT I WAS WINNING AN ART CONTEST! I never win these art contests. This was not our first one, just the first formal one that I gave a clever name to---The Buzz Off! He draws way better than I and if truth be told, I usually just copy what he does. But not this time.
    What I did find fascinating was that he could not put pencil to paper because he thought that he was not going to win.  This drives me crazy when I coach kids that think they can't win, so they don't compete. They figure if they don't try and then lose, they really did not lose because they weren't trying. I got this type of reaction from Noah.
   Ultimately, he did put forth a weak effort. Cheryl always picks his art as the best, but I knew I was riding a winner when she told Noah, "You know I love you even if I pick Daddy's," and "You know I think you're a great artist even if I pick Dad's, right?"
    At this point, I decided to take a minute to be an adult (I am perfectly capable of being an adult when I have to be) and explain to him that you can't just quit or not try because you may not win. I explained that he was a great artist but this was not his best effort, and that he should really try again. When I win, I want to crush him when he puts out his best effort. I get no satisfaction (maybe a little) from beating a six-year-old that is not even trying! He was a little bummed, so we postponed the judging.
    Later that day, I took a little nap. I was awakened by Noah who brought with him a new drawing of Buzz Lightyear. A much better effort, I must admit. He was very proud of himself and told me that he really tried on this one. We compared our two drawings, and pointed out the differences and the similarities. We decided that his Buzz was more cartoonish and my Buzz was more "life-like"-----I decided that mine was still better, but I was proud of his effort.
    Who cares what we thought, what was the judge going to say?
    Of course, as always, she praised both efforts. In the end she went with the cartoonish Buzz. A travesty, the likes of which the art world has never seen. I demanded a rematch. So after the First Annual Buzz Off, we had the First Annual Woody Off.  Certainly not as clever a name, but we had a theme going.
   Unfortunately, I am a one-trick-pony, as my Woody looked like a short middle-aged cowboy that had put on a few pounds over the years. Clearly his Woody was the winner. But I still have, for that one fleeting moment, the joy and the exhilaration of knowing that I drew a better Buzz than my six-year-old son.
    The next day, as he and I were driving to the ice cream store, he asked me if I really thought my Buzz was better than his. My response was that it could have been, but I am forty one years older than he, and the fact that I was competing with a six-year-old---and we were competitive---was kind of funny.
    I explained that if we played a basketball game of one-on-one, and I tried my hardest, I would crush him. He agreed. I then told him that I have to try my hardest just to keep up with his artwork. He agreed, and he, too, thought that was kind of funny!
   When we got home from the ice cream store, we played a game of HORSE. He beat me H-O-R-S to H-O-R-S-E. I would have won, but his mother awarded him an extra shot because he is so cute. I really do need a more impartial arbitrator.