Funny Guy Friday... Some clean clothes, please...

    My wife has come up with a great plan to clean the house and purge our home of unwanted and unused items such as clothing and toys. When she started the project, she boldly asserted that if Jesus can rise from the dead in three days, I can get our house cleaned in three days. Apparently Jesus did not have to homeschool the kids, blog, go to field day, babysit, watch his kids' games, or bra shop----I could have sworn they said ball shop but that is for another FGF.
    If Jesus had Cheryl's life, he never would have had time to save the world. We are on day nine of the house resurrection and there is no end in sight.
    Anyway, she has ordered that we bring all of our clothes to the laundry room where they will be washed, dried and then folded. They will then be stored in the living room. Nothing can go back upstairs until we go through these clothes and throw out those items that we do not wear or that no longer fit. Those discarded clothes will be either donated (Cheryl's plan) or dumped (my plan).
    Whenever we intend to donate clothes, we put them in a bag and put them in the back of the car, and then we drive around with them until the time comes that we need the space in our car. Then we take the bags out of the car and put them in our garage---where they sit until I need to make room for all of our Christmas junk. I say we avoid the Christmas rush and go to the dump today.
    As for right now, we are basically shopping in our living room. The problem is that all of our clothes are never clean at the same time so the process has no end in sight. I have always told Cheryl that she should do a load of laundry a day and we will always be okay as far as clothes go. It is not as if she has to take the clothes down to the river and beat them on a rock. You throw a load in the machine and walk away. Laundry is something that you do  while you are doing something else. Cheryl, on the other hand, believes that you can do twelve loads of laundry once every two weeks----if I don't have any clean underwear, so be it! Our only hope to get all the laundry done is to go naked for about a week, which is not such a bad idea with these 100 degree days we have been having.
    Another problem is that we still sleep and get ready upstairs. Whenever we need clothes, we have to run downstairs for a shirt, run downstairs for socks, run downstairs for shorts, bras, t-shirts, etc. I am contemplating putting my bed down in the living room to save me some time and effort. When we do get to the living room, we grab what we need, we run back upstairs and in the course of events, we knock over all the neat piles, and the clothes will then lie on the ground long enough to qualify as dirty clothes---needing to be rewashed, redried, and refolded!
    I will say that the boys have figured out how to beat the system. They either run downstairs completely naked after just getting out of the shower, or they just change in the middle of the living room, leaving their dirty clothes mingled with the clean ones. I suppose when they finally get around to bringing clothes back upstairs they can just place the dirty ones on the ground in their room where they belong in the first place.
    The final problem with not only this, but any big project at our house, is that my wife is a Zig Zagger. She starts these huge projects and then all of the sudden before that project is complete, she shifts to an equally huge unfinishable project. For example, after day two of the clothing purge, she decided to go through the basement and bag up all of the unused toys. She went through a similar process of bringing all of the toys and games to the living room for the kids to go through.
    Not surprisingly, now we have a living room with little worn clothes and unused toys. A match made in heaven, as the little toys make their way under the mounds of clothes. What are the chances we will trip or stub our toes on some hidden toy? Oh, I'd say about 100%.  I can't help but think of the movie Toy Story with the little green soldiers rounding up all the other toys and hiding them under the camouflage shorts in an effort to avoid being "donated."
    By the way, I do think that we will actually donate these toys to our church for an annual fundraiser. The ironic thing is that half of the unused, unwanted toys to be donated were obtained by our kids at last year's annual church fundraiser. "Trading in" is probably a better description than donating.
    When all is said and done, I am sure that eventually, it will all get finished. However, I don't think it will happen any time soon. You see, the engine light in my car has come on and Cheryl has decided to take a look under the hood. She has started the process of taking apart my engine and is going to resurrect my car. She estimates that the project should be wrapped up in about, oh, three days--give or take a few. I am thinking maybe forty days and forty nights!