Funny Guy Friday… 'Sup... Welcome to Cheryl World!

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    Every year, my family manages to score some tickets to different professional or college games. When I say college games, what I really mean is University of Maryland games. I went to the University of Maryland; Cheryl graduated from the University of Maryland; and my kids will attend the University of Maryland---at least that is my plan.
     My nephew works in the Athletic Department at Maryland, and, this past weekend, was kind enough to get us tickets to go see Maryland play Georgia Tech in basketball. Typically, I would have taken the kids, and Cheryl would have stayed home to do whatever she does when she is home alone---BORING! But this was not our typical situation because Grace is still visiting in Houston. Four tickets, four of us. Guess what---Cheryl was going to cheer on the Terps.
     My girl was all in. She put on her Terrapin turtle neck, she painted Noah's face with red, gold and black, and she pulled Matthew's and my Maryland sweatshirts out of the wash.  
     A few years ago, a certain coach that I do not like, from a certain University that I cannot stand, came to College Park and whined that the fans at Cole Field House were rude. The University of which I speak has a name that rhymes with Puke and the coach has a name that rhymes with… with… er… uh... rhymes with… well, it rhymes with nothing because it is ridiculously unpronounceable.
     Well, the White Rat---my nickname for the coach, it's not official or anything---got a bunch of press and all of the sudden things had to change. Admittedly, some of the things the students did were crude and unnecessary, but kids will be kids. I can say this because they are University of Maryland kids---it would have been obnoxious at any other school.
     One of the things that the students still do when the opposing team is announced is pretend to read a newspaper and then yell a subtle comment about each player's abilities on the basketball court as they are announced. The students then crumple up the newspapers and throw them up in the air.
     Okay, it is not all that subtle---they yell Sucks! after each player's name is announced.  For example: The announcer says, At guard, Fred Smith---SUCKS! immediately follows. This used to be followed up by taking the crumpled  up newspapers and throwing them toward the opposing bench (they have since moved the student section to the other side of the gym, away from the benches). Harmless fun by the Maryland student body, but again, other schools could never pull this off.
     Well, when this happened on Sunday, I looked at Cheryl expecting her to be appalled at these shenanigans. To my surprise, she was smiling and nodding. Dare I say, she was all but joining in on the fun. This was shocking given Cheryl's past history of goody-two-shoe-ness.
     We had a great time at the game. Matthew was all into it, joining in every cheer and college game day taunt. Typically, his antics embarrass his sister, who is sure that all 20,000 people in the arena yelling AIR-BALL are focusing in on Matthew and his AIR-BALL chant. On the other hand, his enthusiasm thrills his mother. Noah fist pumped each Terp basket, got his photo taken with the Terrapin mascot, and even got to meet the University President while getting fries with his cousin. Don't tell anyone this, but he was more impressed with the Turtle than he was with the President.
     After a convincing Terp victory, we were on our way to dinner and had a chance to discuss the students' pregame chants. Again, I was shocked to hear Cheryl tell us that she thought it was clever.
     Stop the world because I am getting off. This is very un-Cheryl-like.
     Clever? You thought that the students yelling SUCKS after each opposing player's name was announced was clever? 
     That's not what they yelled, she insisted. They yelled 'SUP... As in, We don't care about you, we are barely acknowledging you, and we are reading a paper, and just asking What's up? But we don't really care enough to say the whole thing, so we just yell 'sup? 
     Are you serious? That is what you thought they were yelling? 
     This brought a chuckle from both Noah, age 7, and Matthew, age 11. Matthew admitted that he knew his mother did not understand what they were yelling because he was sitting next to her the whole time and at no point during the introductions did she turn and begin lecturing him on good sportsmanship.
     I dropped the bomb and informed her that the student body was telling the players that they stunk---- in a very rude way! Wow, this really was her first rodeo. Four hours later, and now she was appropriately appalled!
     Why would they do that? Saying 'Sup is way more clever, and it tells them that we are not impolite, but we don't care enough about them to clap. It is nice and it is demeaning at the same time! If you boys ever do something like that I will be very disappointed! I am going to write a letter!
     Ahhh! The world is spinning on its axis again. Cheryl is righteously indignant, and the Chancellor at Maryland will be getting a letter about it.
     Everyone should realize that this is the way life is in Cheryl World. Everyone is nice and polite even when they are trying to be offensive. She gets upset when players steal the ball. She thinks the kids who have their shots rejected should be entitled to counseling. She thinks that every scrub player should get a chance no matter how far down the bench they may be. Traveling should be allowed for those players that don't do it all the time. And above all else, nobody is mean.
     I even think that Cheryl would find something nice to say about the White Rat. Disgusting! Seriously, put yourself in my shoes and imagine trying to live with this kind of attitude all your life----especially when Duke comes to town.
    My only hope is that she will be so disappointed by the fact that they are called the Blue Devils that she won't even deem them worthy of a lukewarm 'SUP.