Funny Guy Friday… Theresa, I take it all back...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband, Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     At some point in everybody's life, people make sacrifices for others. We do it for friends, we do it for family and at times, we do it for strangers. Typically, they are small things like giving someone a ride, changing plans to accommodate others, delivering a meal or babysitting at the last minute.
     Recently, I learned about a sacrifice that my sister-in-law Theresa is about to undertake, and I must admit it is no small thing. I don't know all the specifics, because she has been "under the radar" with this. But not knowing the specifics in the past, has never stopped me from writing as if I do know the specifics. So here is what I think that I know.
     About a year ago, Theresa got a call from a woman friend whose husband was not doing well due to problems with his kidneys, and without a transplant, he would not survive. Theresa had lived with this couple when she was 19 years old. These folks were very kind to her at a time when she needed someone to be kind to her. They eventually became Godparents to Theresa's and my brother Jeff's oldest son.
     This call started the ball rolling on a plan that will come to fruition on February 6th---Theresa is going to donate one of her kidneys to help save this man's life.
     She spent last weekend at Duke University Medical Center undergoing the last tests to ensure that she is a good candidate. On a side note, I hate Duke so much that if I had to be treated at that facility I would be like Wesley in Princess Bride and demand "DEATH FIRST." I'm sure it is a good hospital but c'mon, it's Duke.
     Theresa is overjoyed that the last test came back positive, or negative. I am not sure which (remember that detail thing I talked about in the a previous paragraph), but whatever the result, she is, in fact a good candidate for the surgery. It is one of the most selfless things that a person can do, and I must say, I am very impressed. I ask that you keep her and her grateful friends in your prayers.
     
     Anyway, some of you may not have heard the story of how Theresa and I met. As I recall, we first met in the halls of our high school back in 1979. As the story goes, she would wait for me after my typing class and I would carry her books to our next class. Other students in the hallway would look admiringly at me as I, a mere sophomore, would walk the halls with a Senior---who happened to be a female, and not a bad looking female either. I was awesome.
     Alas, the relationship didn't last as she had eyes for another---my big brother. Others have suggested that she may have been using me to get to my big brother, but I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I was hard to resist. In fact, I don't want to brag or anything but back in the day I was "Kind of a Big Deal." I started that year as the back up to the back up point guard on the J.V. basketball team but by the end of the year I was the sole back up to the point guard on the J.V. basketball team. And if that wasn't enough, I was the starting shortstop on the J.V. baseball team and I dressed out for most Varsity games. Seriously, does it get any better than that?
    What's that? My brother was captain of both the varsity basketball team and the varsity baseball team? And he started on each team all three years he was there? Really? Really?!
     Wow, maybe she was using me!
     To be fair, she has a different recollection of our brief romance. She says that she was already dating my brother and was "just being nice" to her boyfriend's little brother. I'm not buying that "just being nice" line. I was there and I know what I thought I saw. Besides, who are you gonna believe, a guy who is keeping all of his major organs intact, in his own body? Or someone crazy enough to voluntarily give up one of hers. Case closed!
     Theresa and I have had a history of sparring mentally and I must say that I have dominated that competition. As my primary nemesis in life, I have formulated certain opinions and may have said some things about her that I now regret. Theresa's life giving sacrifice has now changed some of these opinions and I would like to take this opportunity to clear the air and publicly set the record straight. So, Theresa… This is for you...
   
     First, there were many occasions when I witnessed discussions between you, your husband and your sons about various sporting events. Typically, this would occur after a big game, and you would throw in your two cents with some cockamamie strategy that you would have used had you been the coach. I must admit that there were times that I would roll my eyes behind your back at some of the things you would say. Now that I know you are donating a kidney, I realize that you were right and that you do know more about baseball than your husband and your sons. I am sorry I rolled my eyes. Perhaps, someday, your husband and sons will also realize that their eye rolling was uncalled for.
    Second, there were many occasions where you would give me advice about relationships that more often than not ruined whatever relationship that I happened to be in at the time.  I used to think that you purposely sabotaged these relationships. Now that I know that you are donating a kidney, I realize that you gave good sound advice and that it was not intended to ruin my relationships because you harbored some false notion that you could have me for your own someday. Although I will say, thank goodness I didn't dump Cheryl like you had suggested. After asking Cheryl to marry me after only six weeks of dating, I believe your exact quote was, "Are you out of your mind?" Again, now that I know you are donating a kidney, perhaps I was a bit premature with my proposal.
    Third, your devotion to your sons is unquestionable, but at times, I must admit that I did question whether you were a bit over-protective of the lads. Chasing down 50 cent balloons throughout the neighborhood, challenging game officials to fights, challenging coaches to fights (forget about the fact that most of the time their coach was their father), or dressing them in some ridiculous costume to curry favor from their teachers or sympathy from their friends. It all just seemed so unnecessary to me at the time. But now that I know that you are donating a kidney, I see clearly that your boys needed all the help they could get just to survive. What a bunch of losers!
     Finally, you used to be loud and opinionated. Now that I know that you are donating a kidney, you are……………well, you are…………..well, you are still kind of loud and opinionated but your opinions are correct. I guess.

     There, that just about does it. Keep in mind that we kid because we love.
     In all seriousness, a decision like this is not to be taken lightly. I have talked to my brother and to Theresa and it is clear that she never hesitated in her desire to help this man and would have been terribly disappointed had it not been possible. I always think that I would react similarly if presented with the opportunity. But I also always say it is an easier decision to make when it is only a hypothetical. Theresa was presented with a real opportunity, and she responded like a hero.
     The last thing I will say about this topic is that if Theresa really wants to put the icing on the cake and make what I would consider to be the ultimate sacrifice, she would offer up…….right now with no questions asked…...her other kidney to me in the event that I ever needed an extra one.
     Now that kind of sacrifice would make her a super hero!