November

Matthew 13.
Hindsight is 2020.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Simon Peter… Do you love me…

     This is a reprint from a post I wrote a few years ago. I wrote it from Peter's point of view. I thought it worth another look. May the peace of Christ be always in your hearts and in your homes.

After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them, he said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to Simon Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep." ~ John 21:15-17
       My name is Simon Peter.  I have been fishing all night and have come up empty. I feel empty. What am I going to do? I can't stop thinking about it. Just days ago, I did just about the worst thing you can do to a friend. Let alone your best friend. And it happened just as He had said it would. I cursed, and I swore I didn't even know Him. He had shared his knowledge and his wisdom with me. He said I was the rock, upon which He would build his church. I had watched Him do amazing things. Miracles. I had promised that even if everyone else forsook Him, my faith would not be shaken. But I was weak. I was so afraid. I still can't believe it. I turned my back on Him.

     I remember the first time I met Him. I was here fishing. He told me to go back out and put my net back over and try again. I remember thinking, what's the use? But I learned that day to humbly trust in Him. That was a lesson I would have to learn again and again.
     Wait.... Who is that on shore? At his very Word, our nets are overflowing once again. John says it's the Lord. 
     Jesus? Here? Could it be? Oh, Lord... I want to be close to You again. 
     I leap into this once fearful sea, and I swim as fast as I can. Thrashing through the water just to be with Him again. One more chance to be near Him. And there He stands, offering me His company, once again, in the breaking of the bread. I approach Him. I am so sorry. I cannot say it out loud. Please forgive me. I am flawed. I am weak. I am sorry.
     Then He speaks. Simon, do you love me more than these? He asks... using the word agape... which means unconditional, sacrificial love. The way He loves. I am humbled. I don't think I am capable of love like His. No more boasting. I am imperfect. I say, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You... but I use the word phileo, meaning brotherly love. Earthly love. Imperfect love. It's all I have. I am not He. After last weekend, we both know I may not ever love that way. I am human. He is God. But He tells me to feed his lambs anyway.
     He asks me a second time, Do you love me? I say again, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You. He says, Tend my sheep. Once more, he asks me if I love Him. We are face to face. His eyes are so kind. I feel so guilty. I swore I would never deny Him, and I did it three times... when He needed me the most.  Well, I need Him now. I am lost without Him. I simply say, Lord, You know everything. You know that I love you. That is enough for Him. 
     The sun is shining now. I start to feel better. Three times. I love You Lord. I do. I do. A second chance. He is still my friend. He will never deny me. He has given me a gift. And He has given me a task. Feed my sheep.
     Even if my love isn't the perfect love of the Father or his Son, it's enough to do His work. I am enough for Him. I love Him. And I will ever strive to love as He loves. I will do my best to feed his sheep. He still trusts me. Even though I let Him down. He promises to empower me. I know what I must do. My life will never be the same again.

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