Funny Guy Friday…..Home Alone

    My sister Michel(a) drove in from Houston on Friday. She spent the night at my mother's home and on Saturday stopped by our house on her way to a week long vacation in Ocean City, Maryland.  While she was at our house, she decided to grab a few things for her trip……things like my daughter Grace, my Honda Pilot and my keys to our condominium in, you guessed it, Ocean City, Maryland.
    No problem, I hope she has a good time and although I will miss my daughter and want to visit with my sister, I know that they will all be back home in one week and we will have time to visit then. Besides, Cheryl and the boys are home and I will have stuff to do with them.  Matthew has baseball practice in preparation for his State Tournament this weekend…..Noah never likes to leave home…..and Cheryl will not want to impose on Michel. I am happy to be home with my wife and my boys.
    Cheryl called me on Wednesday at about 11:00 a.m. and advised that she is interested in taking the boys to the beach and staying with Michel. Wait a second, I have to work and I can't get off.
    Just continue all your cases and come along.  
    After twenty years of being married to a lawyer, you would think that by now she knows that I can't just postpone trial dates that have been scheduled for months.  Even if I were able to get the Judges to agree, I can't just call my clients and tell them that the trial date that they have been waiting on for months needs to be postponed because I need to work on my tan.
    [Now this next part is a secret so don't tell Cheryl……there have been a few occasions when I have postponed cases under similar time constraints. But in those instances I had to play an unexpected round of golf or I was offered opening day tickets for the National's at the last minute….but you can't go to that well too often.]
    I reminded Cheryl that Matthew has baseball practice. She advised that there is no practice until Thursday night and she reminded me that I am his coach. If he misses one practice, no big deal. What about Noah? He certainly does not want to go, does he?
    Already packed. Seriously!
    I took the high road and acted like an adult and told them they should go. Deep down, I am a six year old and was hoping they would stay. Not because I don't want them to have a good time but because I hate being home alone.  It's too quiet. It's too boring. I am home right now and there is nothing to do. I need a nap.

    Just woke up from my nap. Now what?
    I know, I will watch a baseball game on t.v. Just my luck, it is the worst day of the year for televised sports.....the day after the Major League Baseball All Star Game. I am not interested in J.V. Girls Field Hockey and I already saw last years N.C.A.A. College Football National Championship Game. Now what? Last time my family left me alone, I went out and bought a new car. Maybe I could do that again. Boy, Cheryl's trip with the kids can get expensive.
    Ooooh, there is a movie on that Cheryl would never let me watch if she were home. It is a good one, a movie where a girl gets kidnapped in France and her dad goes over to save her. Mmmm, wonder what would happen if one of my kids got kidnapped in Ocean City. That would be bad……perhaps this is not the best movie to watch with my family on vacation.
    Now what?

    I got nothing!
    Oh well, they will be home tomorrow. I will go to bed and wake up and this will all be over with. Tomorrow, the house will be full of people when I get home from work.
    Man, this stinks, wouldn't you know, that nap I took a little earlier is coming back to haunt me. Can't sleep.

    Finally fell asleep for about three hours and am excited to get the day going.  They should be leaving Ocean City at about 2:00 p.m. so Matthew will be home for practice at 5:30 p.m.    
    At 2:00 p.m., my secretary buzzes me to tell me Cheryl is on the phone. Great, must be on the road, in fact, she has to be on the road or they are going to be late.
    Hi sweetie, how are you? HEY DON'T GO OUT TOO FAR. THE WATER IS KIND OF ROUGH!
    Hey, how are you and why are you yelling at me about the water? 
    Oh, I am not yelling at you, I am yelling at Noah. NOAH BE CAREFUL….MATTHEW, WATCH YOUR BROTHER!
    Why yell if they are sitting in the back of the car driving home from the beach. Is there a leak in the back of the car?
     No, of course not, we are still at the beach…….would you mind if Matthew misses practice tonight. We are having a great time and I think he wants to stay. 
    He really should be at that practice. By the way, even if you leave right now, you may not make it home by 5:30. 
    No, I would rally. Look, all you are going to do is hit.
    Yes, it is a baseball practice and this is what we do sometimes. We are also going to go over some of our bunt defenses.
    He knows all that. MATTHEW, YOU KNOW ALL YOUR BUNT DEFENSES DON'T YOU? Yep, he knows them.
    Fine, tell him if he misses practice, he is not starting on Saturday.
    I am not telling him that, you know that other kids miss practice and they still start. I remember these things because I AM THE COACHES WIFE! Now I am yelling at you.
     Fine, stay. I don't care. 
     Great, love you. I have to go. It is beautiful here, you should come down.
     I have work and I do need to be at practice tonight. I will see you tomorrow. 
     Oh yea, I keep forgetting. Have fun at work. Bring home the bacon and all that. Have a good practice. Love you. OH NO! WATCH OUR STUFF THAT WAVE IS COMING UP CLOSE TO OUR BLANKET…..I GOTTA GO!


    So now here I am on day 2 without my family.  Home alone.…again. What to do, what to do.
    I guess, I should stop typing now….. I am late for my nap.
    Oh no, I just remembered. They are all going to Rhode Island for a week in August.  Hey, what are you guys doing in August. I am available. But try not to call while I am napping. Take note, I am usually up between 11:00 pm. and 4:30 a.m.
    Seriously, call me!