Funny Guy Friday... Cheryl's silent retreat...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     My beautiful wife went on a Catholic retreat this past weekend, leaving the kids and me to fend for ourselves. We do okay without her; in fact, we have our own little battle cry for these situations... We don't need no stinking mommy.
     I must admit that I miss her more than the kids do, but don't tell her that.
     The retreat was a silent retreat, but I still decided to text her a message on Saturday morning. Silent doesn't cover text messages. Anyway, as I sat in the parking lot waiting for Noah to come out of CCD, I thought long and hard about what I would say. Great minds think alike because as I was typing, I got a notice that she was texting me. I decided to finish my message and then read hers.
     Here is what I wrote:  Good morning. I love you. I just realized that my hair is turning blond. It may be gray, but I think it is blond. Kind of weird for a guy my age to go back to blond, but it's true. 
     Nice. Clever. Cute as can be. Then I read her message.
     Good morning. My love to all. Just met a woman that stopped me and asked me if I were your wife. We have name tags. She said that you are the kindest sweetest Christian man... It filled me up. You never know what effect you are having on people in an otherwise ordinary day. That's what it is all about... Showing great love in your vocation. That is what you did for this humble woman. I love you. I am praying for you all. Please pray for me, too. 
     Wow, my text sucked. Really? I think my hair is turning blond? Seriously? I had to follow up with something. This is what I came up with.
     M A R Y L A N D Marylaaaand will win. Going to the Maryland football game this afternoon. That's all I had. Was I wrong? Should I have given her more? It is my position that you don't text serious messages like that; you call. I don't care if you are at a silent retreat, you call! Was I wrong?
     While she was away, we all agreed that she was going to come home and "be all religious and stuff." In fact, we took bets as to what would happen first. Would she (a) suggest that I go on a men's silent retreat, (b) suggest that the entire family "ban all electronics" and observe quiet time at our house, (c) suggest that we clean our rooms and give all of our stuff to the poor or (d) all of the above.
      Now, I sort of encouraged the conversation which was all in fun. Was I wrong? By the way, if you had (a) suggest that I go on a men's retreat.....you won!!!
      Did I mention that this was a silent retreat? This is important because when she did come home, she had a lot to say. I mean a lot to say. A lot!!!
     So, she came through the door and came up to our bedroom where Matthew and I were watching the Redskins game. She sat down and began to tell us all about her weekend.
     It was fascinating. It was moving. It was inspiring... It was right at the end of the game when the Redskins were on the move.
     The conversation went something like this.
     I got in line during the healing service, and the priest put his hands on my head and I felt warm, then Father Dan came over and he also laid hands on me and I heard a wooshing sound that I could not explain. I think it was the Holy Spir.......
     OH NO! THROW THE BALL AWAY, DON'T TAKE THAT HIT! 
     Are you even listening to me? 
     Honey, RG3 just took a hit and is hurt.
     I just was telling you something important about my weekend.
    Let's be fair about this; we have invested almost three hours into this game, and there are four minutes left. It is not fair to expect us to ignore the game at this point. Again, let's be rational about this; this game is over in a few minutes and you are going to be here all week.  
    Was I wrong?
    Now, all of these things did actually occur. Cheryl did go on a silent retreat. I did text her that stupid message at the same exact time she was texting me that wonderful note. And we were watching the Redskin game when she came home and tried to get in "all the words she couldn't get in during her silent retreat."
     And this I now know: I will go on a silent retreat. We will ban all electronics. And we will clean our rooms and give all of our stuff to the poor.
     So I guess I just answered the question... Yes, I was, in fact, wrong.
     Wrong all along!