Funny Guy Friday... Eight to eighty... Blind, crippled and back on the road......

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband, Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     On Wednesday, I came home from work early so I could take my mother to the eye doctor. When I came through the door, I entered the kitchen to find Noah sitting on the counter, with blood coming from his wrist, his knee and his mouth. He had had a bicycle accident.
     A neighbor, who happens to be an emergency room doctor, took a look and thought that he might need a few stitches. Cheryl went in one direction to the emergency room with Noah, and I went in the other direction to the eye doctor with my mother.
     Noah learned to ride his bike about a month ago. He was very cautious when he first started but continued to gain confidence with each passing day. He loves riding his bike.
     On the day of the big crash, he was crossing the street in front of our house and tried to make a quick turn back in the other direction to avoid a parked car. Being new to the road, he miscalculated and did a complete face plant onto the roadway. Score it Roadway 1-Noah 0.
     Because he is so cautious, I was worried that this little mishap would prevent him from getting back on his bike and riding again. Fortunately, he seems to be back in the saddle, and despite five stitches in his lip and a limp in his step, he is back on the road.
     My mother on the other hand, learned to drive about fifty years ago. She has never had an accident... and has no stitches... but she does not like to drive. She is uneasy driving on the highways and at night. Certainly, if I had my druthers, Naoh would ride his bike all the time and my mother would drive very little.
     You see, last Tuesday, my mother asked if I would take her to the MVA to get her license renewed. My mother is going to be eighty-two in the next few weeks and she was anxious to get this process completed. It seems that at eighty-two, no matter what she is doing, she is anxious to get it done.
     Anyway, she asked that I come to her house and help her fill out her application. I wondered if there were something different about the application because of her age. She advised that there were a few questions that she was not sure about. No problem.
     I went to her house and we reviewed the application. The application is the same, but the organ donor questions seemed to throw her for a loop. Anyway, we got it all squared away and it was off to the MVA. Just as an FYI, you won't be getting any of my mother's organs anytime soon.
     Anyway, she seemed to be very excited about the license renewal because she had had cataract surgery several months ago and she was sure she could pass the eye exam.
     We were lucky to arrive at the MVA when there were no lines, so we jumped right up to the counter. The very nice young lady asked my mother to press her forehead against the bar and read the fourth line.
     She saw nothing.
     I stepped up to offer my assistance and it was clear that she had not properly pressed her forehead against the bar, so nothing had appeared on the screen. Even with my help, she had trouble reading the fourth line.
     No problem, the lady kindly assured her, Just put on your glasses and try it again. You already have a restriction for glasses, so it will just remain the same.
     I don't have my glasses with me, she said.
     Mom, the glasses are right around your neck. Put those on and we are good to go. 
     I think these are reading glasses; I don't see well out of these. I don't think I have regular glasses. 
     What do you wear when you drive?
     I don't need glasses to drive. I don't see as well with these glasses. 
     What? That makes no sense, Mom.  
     We were told of two options. First, go home and find the correct pair of glasses and come back. I had a sneaky suspicion that the correct pair of glasses did not exist, so that was not an option. Second, we could take her for an eye exam and get the doctor to fill out the correct form.
     I have a good friend who is an optometrist and he got us in the next day. He started his exam and he gently told her that she does, in fact, need glasses but her prescription was not too bad. He then looked at the glasses that she had around her neck and got a puzzled look on his face. He asked my mother if she ever wore those glasses and then he left the room. When he came back, he asked her to put her old glasses on and to read the eye chart. She could see nothing. He then informed us that her current glasses were over two times too strong.
     Mom, after your cataract surgery, did you ever go back to the eye doctor to have your eyes checked. 
     No, they were better! 
     There you have it; her eyes are better. She is back on the road.
     Two ends of the spectrum. An eight-year-old that wrecks his bike and I want him back on the bike before he even gets his stitches out. And an eighty-two-year-old that has never had an accident but I would prefer that she drive on a limited basis... a very limited basis... preferably when the eight-year-old's bike is in the garage.
     Grace is sixteen and is making some noises about getting her license. I don't know what will be going through my mind when that happens.