Funny Guy Friday... Be nice... oh... and clean the kitchen...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     Let me start by saying that I have been blessed with three great kids and a beautiful wife that I often describe as the nicest woman that God has ever put on this Earth. However, they all have their moments... take tonight for instance.
     We just came home from dinner with some friends, and Cheryl asked the kids to empty the clean dishes from the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes that were sitting in the sink. Now we do not ask much of our kids, so you would think that this would not be a problem. However, it is a problem... it is always a problem.
     You see, when dishes sit in the sink day after day, they tend to get nasty and stinky. The kids could just load the dishes in the dishwasher after every meal, but that would require that they first run the dishwasher and then empty the clean dishes after it has run through the wash cycle.
     They don't, so as a result, they treat our kitchen as if it were a nuclear reactor leaking radioactive goo. No, I take that back... radioactive goo would be better than sour milk. My three kids would welcome radioactive goo.
     Anyway, they all went into the kitchen and Cheryl and I retired to the living room. There were some heated discussions coming from the kitchen, but I could not make heads or tails of it. Alright, truth be told, I was concentrating on level 96 in Candy Crush. On a side note, if you have not started that silly game... DON'T! It is like crack cocaine. Once you start, you cannot stop.
     Sooo, Cheryl had heard enough and called all three into the living room. She asked me if I wanted to handle this. I said that I would leave this one up to her. Again, truth be told... I had no idea what Cheryl was upset about, so I might have yelled at them for the wrong reason. Besides, I did not want Cheryl to know that I did not know what was going on because she thinks Candy Crush is a big waste of time. Obviously, Cheryl has never used crack cocaine.
    As they entered the room, Cheryl once again asked if I wanted to handle the discipline. I declined... but I did position myself in a prime spot so I could see the whole thing develop. I get a kick out of Cheryl when she calls team meetings to address stuff that I'm not even aware has happened. In fact, although I always side with Cheryl in these situations... so as not to show a chink in our unity armor... I do often wonder if Cheryl was ever a kid.
    Did she ever fight with her siblings? Did she ever curse? Did she ever scratch her name in her mother's new bar stools, and then in an effort to divert attention elsewhere, carve his brother's names into the other stools? I mean... who didn't do these things?
    By the way, my mother was not fooled, she knew I was the one.
    Well, it appears that our three little angels have not been treating each other very well of late. They have been mean and nasty and disrespectful to one another, and Cheryl has had enough.
    Mind you, there was no punching! No cursing! No destruction of property! Just not being nice to each other.
    Grace immediately lodged a protest that I quickly shot down. Although I was not aware of the aforementioned meanness. I am capable of recognizing a child interrupting a parent. But my irritation with Grace was quickly supplanted by shock. You see in the middle of Cheryl's lecture on niceness, Matthew was standing behind Gracie... making faces at her.
    Now I was fully engaged in the process.
    Grace was happy to be off the hook and was even supportive of my anger towards Matthew.
    As we ended our "discussion," the kids each went their separate ways. I ended up with Noah in the kitchen... ironically, doing the dishes that had never gotten done. He asked what I was going to write about in Funny Guy Friday. When I told him I might just write about mom's lecture, he wanted to know who was going to be the child least written about. 
    Of course, our sweet boy Noah avoided even one mention.
    So, I am happy to report that the kids have all made up. The kitchen is clean, and everyone is watching TV. My only concern right now is that my mother is coming to spend the weekend with us and she has always vowed revenge for my little bar stool stunt.
    If she is smart, she will carve Noah, Matthew and Grace into our bar stools.
    I would never suspect!