Funny Guy Friday... Is it Labor Day again?

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     I am the co-chair for the annual Sacred Heart Labor Day Festival. You know... pony rides, arcade games, prizes, food and drink, rock wall, moon bounce, bingo, silent auction, book fair, face painting, cotton candy... and so much more. I am told that it is our church's biggest fundraiser of the year. This begs the question: Why in the world would they put me in charge of the thing?
     The answer is very simple: they couldn't get anyone else to take the job, and I was the only one gullible enough to be tricked into it.
     That's right. Tricked into to it... by the head of the church.
     No, not the Pope. Not even our pastor... but the lady that used to run our CCD program.
     You see, three years ago, I was late, as usual, taking Matthew to his Saturday morning class. As I tried to sneak down the hallway unnoticed, I got "the call" into the church lady's office.
     This was bad. This was really bad. At the time, she was the most feared person at the church.
     The sweat began to form on my brow as I walked into the office and... she... shut... the... door. SHE SHUT THE DOOR!!!
     Mark, you know the church puts on a festival every year on Labor Day.
     No, I didn't know that but ...
     Yes we do. Every year. We need to get some younger people involved. 
     At this point, I began to realize that this had nothing to do with being late for CCD, so I stopped listening. I should have kept listening.
    Okay, I will start asking around. I know younger people. 
    I am talking about you.
    Me? You consider me younger people. My mind was a scramble, but I do recall thinking that cavemen must have been running this thing in years past.  
    Sure... I can help out. Anything you need. 
    I did not really mean anything you need. I really meant: I am happy you are not mad at me for being late every Saturday, so I will say whatever I need to just to get out of this office without having to put my tail between my legs.
    I'm pretty sure I then skipped to my car!
    A month later, I got an email from the church lady telling me that it was time to schedule my first Labor Day Committee meeting. This was obviously a mistake. I recalled something about a conversation in her office about my moving some tables or some such menial task.
    Apparently, by saying "anything you need," I was volunteering to be in charge. Now who would put someone in charge of an event that he did not even know had existed. I tried to back out... but she would not let me. SHE WOULD NOT LET ME!
    Oh... she was gooood!
     Three years later, I remain the co-chair of the Labor Day Festival. The church lady retired last year.
     In reality, I am just a figurehead because before retiring, the church lady also tricked an elderly gentleman into "helping out." He does all of the work and I get all of the credit. Of course, if anything goes bad... it's Tony's fault!
     She had tricked Tony into the post by telling him that she had recruited me, a big Know Nothing, to be the chairman. Poor Tony had panicked, and because he is such a good man, he volunteered to help me. She quickly had co-chairs of the big event.
     Like most volunteer jobs, it is mine until I die.
     I have tried to get fired... but to no avail.
     We raise less and less money every year. We only have two planning meetings, and hardly anybody even comes to the first one. We no longer have live music (not really my fault, but nobody knows that). And this Labor Day, we ran out of beer for the volunteers.
     Unforgivable, no? But still not enough to get me fired. Sigh.
     And believe me, I have come up with a few ideas that should have resulted in my getting canned.
     At our final meeting before the big day, our pastor made a surprise appearance. I was telling the volunteers that I trusted their judgment, and that they did not have to ask me about every decision. I commented that if they made a bad decision, Father would let me know... and if it were really bad, I would lose my job.
     Father nervously laughed and jokingly agreed with my assessment.
     Hmmm... This gave me an idea. An awful idea. This gave me a wonderful, awful idea.
     Okay, the pony ride people arrive at noon. The rock wall and the moon bounce come at 12:30. And the strippers come at 1:00. What do you think, Father? How many tickets should we charge for that?!
     More nervous laughs. 
     Still in charge.
     So then, I trotted out my suggestions for our signs.
     For instance, the Rock Wall (sponsored by the local funeral parlor, by the way) could have a sign that reads, "If you fall and die, we'll be here." Or how about tagging the Pony Rides with a sign that reads, "Put your @** on ours." Even the welcome sign for the event could read, "Welcome! If you have too good a time... just go to Confession!"
     Still not bad enough to get me fired.
     Hmmm... I'll have to keep brainstorming.

     Actually... all kidding aside... I kind of enjoy my role in the Labor Day Festival.
     Despite the fact that I'm "in charge," this year's festival was a great success. It is a big production and I am grateful for such cooperative and giving volunteers. Especially Tony!
     I have no idea how much money we raised, and frankly, I don't care. The focus of the day is not as much to make money as to encourage fellowship for the folks at our church and in our community. As I look at the smiles on the faces of the hundreds of people who attend, I am sure that we do that every year.
     I have come to the conclusion that I am stuck with my post indefinitely. So, naturally I will carry on with great gusto. I guess my only real worry now is that one of these days, the new church lady is going to stop some young late-comer in the CCD parking lot and tell him that "they need some young people" to help out with the Labor Day Festival.
     Until then, only 361 days until next Labor Day. I had better start planning.