Funny Guy Friday... They're a modern... electronic-age family...

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    I remember the days when we had telephones that were attached to the walls.
    Your dad had to put a time limit on calls because there was no call waiting... only busy signals.  And if you happened to be talking to a girl on the "upstairs phone"... there was a pretty good chance that your brother was listening in on the "downstairs phone."
    On a side note... I hated my brother when he did that.
    We also had televisions that did not have remote controls. You had to lie on the floor in front of the set and change the channels with your feet... or if you were a complete loser... a.k.a, the youngest member of the family... a.k.a., me... you would actually be forced to get up and turn the channels by hand.
    Nobody wanted to go through that hassle. Of course, there weren't a whole lot of reasons to turn the channel because we only got ABC, CBS, NBC, Channel 20 and channel 5.
    Who can forget Je t'aime bien from Channel 5? I learned all of my foreign languages from Channel 5.
    Further, TV's then had no DVR, pause or rewind feature. If you had to get up and go to the bathroom, you were out of luck. Shows stood still for no man! You learned to "hold it" until commercial and to finish up "your business" as quickly as possible so you would not miss a minute of your "regularly scheduled program."
    Beyond this miracle of network television, if you were really fortunate, you had the Atari Gaming System. This provided you with a variety of games to play right there on your TV. And by "variety of games," I mean PONG and TANK. That was it!
    Nowadays, things are different.
    Our kids have everything they need and/or want at the click of a button on their phones. They can watch shows, text, email, listen to music, check their stocks, check the weather, play a variety of games (and by variety of games, I mean a real variety of games), add, subtract, multiply, divide, make a bank deposit, pay a bill, make dinner reservations... and they can even make phone calls.
    The problem is that everyone is watching shows, texting, emailing, listening to music, checking their stocks, checking the weather, playing games, adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, making bank deposits, paying bills, making dinner reservations and making telephone calls... twenty-four hours a day... seven days a week.
    Our kids' noses are simply way too attracted to their cell phones.
    The other day, we were on our way to Damascus for a baseball tournament.
    We had our kids, plus one of Matthew's teammates. The friend sat in the back with our three kids, and at one point, after noticing complete silence with an occasional giggle, I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw all four of them looking down at their phones. I mentioned...
    I don't want to offend any of you, but you all look like a bunch of little girls checking out your little twitters about who likes who and who is wearing what.  
   Cheryl chimed in as she always does on these occasions... That's it, everyone put away their tablets... pay attention... live life! Live life is Cheryl's "go to" admonishment when the kids are overdoing the electronics. It applies only to the kids because sometimes Cheryl "just needs to look something up." I continued...
    Yeah, put away your tablets. Back when I was a kid, the only tablets we had were stone tablets... and we had to use a hammer and chisel in order to send a message. Like the Flintstones!
    The what-Stones? from the way back.
    Please, don't tell me that you do not know the Flinstones! They're a modern stone-age family... from a show we watched when we were kids.
    Like a caveman reality show? You know... like when you were a kid?
    No, Noah. Not a caveman reality show. Please tell me you're kidding? 
    I am kidding about the show... but I do think that you are old!  
    I believe that, as a parent, I have failed you all if you guys don't know who the Flintstones are. It's time for a quiz: What was Fred and Wilma's daughter's name?
    Silence... chirp, chirp.
    Finally, Gracie answered correctly... Pebbles!
    What about Barney and Betty's little boy?
    Matthew's friend answered "Dino."
    Too bad he lost twice the points for getting the answer wrong and pronouncing it "Dyno," as in dynamite.
    Someone mentioned that it was pronounced "Deeno," and that that was the dog's name anyway.
    Grace once again chimed in:  Dino wasn't a dog. He was a dinosaur!
    Ah. Good one Gracie.
    Matthew finally broke his silence...   
    I got it Dad... I will Google it up! Wikapedia baby. 
    No Wikapedia! Stay off those things.  
    Gracie nailed it again: The Rubbles' son's name was Bamm Bamm!
    At least I can comfort myself with the fact that we did a good job raising Gracie.
    Now the floor was open for conversation about the Flintstones. Of course the conversation included just Cheryl and me.
    That show was so over once they had to bring on the Great Gazoo! 
    Yeah, it "jumped the shark" once Gazoo was introduced!
    "Dumb dumb."
    "Yes Yes Yes... No No No!" 
    What great names... Mr. Slate, Perry Masonary, millionaire J.L. Gotrocks, Joe Rockhead, Ann Margrock! Great writing!
    That show was way out... way out. That's where the fun is... way out!
    Then the kids chimed in...
    Mom... Dad... stop. Can we turn on our tablets? 
    Since I am a benevolent dictator, I offered them a bonus opportunity to get their tablets back.
    If you can sing the Flintstones theme song, you guys win.
    Miraculously, Matthew who had offered nothing up to this point... other than a request to Google... began: Flinstones, meet the Flinstones. They're a modern stone-age family. From the town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of history....
    He nailed it.
    That was great. How did you do that?
    It is one of my songs for piano! 
    He hates taking piano lessons and only does so because Cheryl and I force him, in hopes that he will someday become a well-rounded individual that can do more than push buttons on a phone. Hopefully, he now sees how his piano lessons can come in handy in life.
    So let me recap:
    My kids, like many kids, spend a little too much time on their cell phones.
    I took away their cell phones and would only give them back if they could answer all of my simple questions about the Flintstones.
   They were powerless to answer all of my simple Flintstone questions correctly, without the crutch of Google.
   They were given one last opportunity to get their cell phones back by answering a bonus question... and were only able to do so because Cheryl and I, in hopes of raising well-rounded children, forced them to do something other than play on their cell phones.
   Oh, the irony!
   Maybe if we could somehow attach their cell phones to the wall... Or make them text only with their feet!