Have you ever read the children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?
Basically, it starts out with a little boy giving a mouse a cookie... and then the mouse wants a glass of milk. When you give the mouse the milk... he wants a straw. After he drinks his milk... he is going to want a napkin... etc, etc.
The more the boy gives the mouse, the more the mouse wants. One thing, unavoidably, leads to another.
Parties at our house are like that. Despite the fact that we live day to day with all of our home's "little imperfections," parties give us an opportunity to spend a bunch of money... er uh, make some small home improvements.
We are throwing Gracie a little graduation party this Sunday. If you happen to be around Sunday after three, come on by and say hello.... we would love to see you.
More importantly, we would love for you to see our house.
You see... If you Give Your Daughter a Graduation Party... you have to paint the front door... the same front door that has been chipping away paint for the past year.
If you are going to paint the front door... you might as well take care of the back door too... and fix all the splintered wood and paint the back deck. If you are going to paint the back deck... you might as well get new flower boxes for the rails.
If you are going to get flower boxes for the rails... you might as well buy new outdoor furniture. If you are going to have new outdoor furniture to sit on... you might want to get rid of the pile of debris in the backyard so your guests won't trip over it. And since your guests will be strolling around your yard... you might as well clear out all the flower beds.
If you are going to clear out the beds in the yard... you might as well get poison ivy. Oh wait... no no no... we don't want poison ivy. That would be really bad right before the big party. Could you imagine getting poison ivy all over your hands, arms and legs before the crowds come? Trust me... that would be bad! Lets skip that part... I wish I could... thank you very much!
Let's see, where were we?
Oh yeah... if you are going to clear out the beds in the yard... you might as well edge the yard and trim the grass. If you're going to edge the yard and trim the grass... you might as well finish painting the corn hole boards that have been sitting in your garage for the past six months. If you're going to play corn hole on the freshly painted boards that had been sitting in your garage... you will want to place them on your well manicured lawn. If you put the corn hole boards on your lawn... your guests will be standing there looking at your house. If people are looking at your house, you should probably power wash it.
If you're going to power wash the house... you should probably clean the windows. If you are going to clean the windows... people are going to see into the house.. so you better get all the light bulbs changed inside so people can see what they are looking into.
On a side note, I find it remarkable that nearly all of our lights always burn out at the same time. What is up with that?
Of course, if people are going to be looking into a well-lit house... you better get the house clean. Once you get the house clean... people are going to want to come into the house. If people are going to come into the house, they have to come through the front or back doors. If people are going to come in the house through the front and back doors... you should probably paint the front door and the back deck.
And you know... if you are going to paint the front door... and the back deck...
YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A GRADUATION PARTY!!!
We always manage to get it all done, but it is not without a lot of effort. In fact, if history is any indication, we will be "efforting it" right up to the very end.
We will call may sister-in-law at 2:20 and ask her to bring ice. Funny thing about this is that three of my sisters-in-law just read this, and each thinks I am writing exclusively about her... we spread the ice request around depending on what time we will need it. You would think that after the hundreds of parties and family functions, we might just remember the ice. We don't.
Cheryl will get her shower at 2:30, and I will follow her at 2:55. There is a very good chance that I will greet the first guests with a towel wrapped around my waist. I will hand them a knife and ask if they mind cutting up some fruit. Before they have a chance to say no, I will be off getting my shirt out of the dryer and heading back upstairs to change.
Our kids tend to disappear during the wild last minute rush to get the party started. If they make the mistake of showing their faces, I will ask them to do something... anything... to "move the ball forward." And all will respond that they are already doing something for Mom.
Really? Did Mom ask you to sample the lemonade with a frisbee under your arm?
We are very proud of our beautiful high school graduate and would love for you all to share the day with her. I was serious when I said if you are in the area, feel free to stop on by. However, I do have one final bit of advice: if I were you, I would not arrive before 3:15.
And if you really want to make this host happy, congratulate me on my freshly painted front door, my freshly painted back deck and my freshly graduated daughter... in no particular order!
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| ~ The Graduate ~ |
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