Funny Guy Friday... Soon she'll be on her own...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     Our baby girl is going to college in just a little more than a month.
     She will be on her own... pretty much free to do whatever she wants without parental interference. The problem for Gracie is that she still has about thirty-five days of parental interference.
     My father used to always tell me... so long as you live under my roof, you will follow my rules. At the time, I thought my dad was an intolerant, overbearing tyrant. Now I think he was a soothsayer, a profit, a parental genius, if you will. It is amazing how much smarter he gets as I parent my own kids.
     The other night, Cheryl and I were watching TV in bed, and Matthew came to us and asked if he could watch a movie with Grace and their cousin Katherine: The Fighter.
     Cheryl immediately checked it out on www.youcantwatchthat.com and found that the film may contain a couple of bad words. By a couple of bad words I really mean one particular "grand daddy of bad words" uttered more than 125 times. Not only was Matthew not watching this movie, Cheryl demanded that I go downstairs and tell Gracie and Katherine that they were not watching the movie, either.
     I pointed out that in a little over a month, our soon-to-be-eighteen-year-old-anyway daughter was going away to college, and we would no longer control her every move. We won't be with her. She is going to make decisions without our input.
     Additionally, if we had rushed down there to tell her that Matthew asked us if he could watch the movie... and then we tell Gracie that not only can Matthew not watch it, neither can you! we were just going to get Grace upset with Matthew.
     Seriously, shouldn't have Matthew sacrificed himself so Grace could watch a inappropriate movie? He had to have known that there was no way Cheryl was going to allow him to watch this movie and would then put the big kibosh on Gracie.
     Now, to be frank, I do not particularly agree with letting Grace make her own decisions.
     I want to make decisions for her for the rest of her life.
     Nor do I care if she is mad at Matthew. If it weren't his asking about the movie, she probably would have been mad at him for something else.
     The real problem was that it was 10:30 p.m. and I was snuggled in for the night. I would have had to get up out of a nice warm bed and run downstairs to tell her that she couldn't watch a movie because of bad language... and I was tired!
     I was snuggly and tired!
     Look Cheryl, Grace is almost eighteen years old. At some point we need to let her make her own decisions. 
     Did I mention that I was tired... and my bed was warm... and I was really, really tired... and snuggly!
     As it turned out, it didn't really matter anyway. Cheryl decided to conduct a little test. She was sure Grace would have had the good sense not to watch an R-rated movie, full of darkness and violence. So she just rested confidently on the notion that we had raised Grace right and that Grace herself would reconsider her movie choice and pass on watching The Fighter.
     Unfortunately, Mark Wahlberg trumps good sense, and Grace and Katherine did watch the movie.
     Bad move because the next day, Cheryl did what mothers have been doing for years. She made Grace feel guilty! Tried and true method of parenting. Although I would point out that my dad never made me feel guilty... he had other, more effective ways of making me tow the line. Although he never hit me... there was never any doubt that he would have! That was enough for me.
     As the guilt trip continued, Grace asked me to intervene because Mom can't make you feel guilty! I didn't have the heart to tell Grace that I don't have that antidote.
     But Cheryl was not the only one to crack down on Gracie this week.
     I had to bring the hammer down and advise Grace that if she continues to use her cell phone as if it were an appendage that she would be going to college without it. I feel sorry for Grace because this had less to do with her as it has to do with everyone else in our society.
     Everyone has instant access when they have their phone.
     I would like to say that "the second they get out of whatever"... the phones come out and everyone starts checking for messages or finding scores or texting or emailing. I would like to say "the second they get out of whatever" but they check for messages, find scores, text or email right "in the middle of whatever!"
     And the cell phone function that I hate the most... the ability to take selfies!
     Personally, I believe that the need to constantly take pictures of yourself is a character flaw.
     I am not sure which of the seven deadly sins this falls under but it has to violate at least four of them! What is the problem with our society when everyone has to take pictures of themselves every second of every day?
     Poor Gracie made a move for her phone in the middle of entertaining a guest for dinner. That was enough for me, and I may have overreacted.
     Put it down! If I see you so much as touch that phone one more time tonight, I am never paying another cell phone bill and you are not taking it to school with you. And another thing... no more selfies!
     Now I know that if I stop paying the bill, the phone won't work and at that point, she can take the darn thing anywhere she wants... but I think she got the point.  
     To Gracie's credit, she apologized.
     To my credit, I refused to accept her apology and remained irritated. 
     I am serious; if you so much as touch, I mean, touch that phone tonight, I am going to throw the thing away! Don't do it... you can't win this one, Gracie! 
     On second thought, I think I reacted just right!
     So now we are sending Grace off to college where she will have no adult supervision.
     Where she can watch what she wants... and my guess is that she will, in fact, have her phone with her. She can take photos of herself taking notes in her first class, eating in the dining hall, sitting in her dorm room, and chatting with her new friends.  But hopefully not watching an R-rated movie.
     And do you know what I want? I want to see them all!
     I mean, we are not going to be there with her; the least she can do is text us the pictures.
     You know what this means? It means she is going to have to have that phone!  
     I guess Grace can win this one!
     I am going to miss that girl!