Funny Guy Friday... Who could ask for anything more?

    Happy Thanksgiving!  We had quite a day.
    In fact, we had quite a week.
    Forget that... we have had quite a month.
    Several months ago, my family and I decided that it would be a good idea for my mother to move in with us. She had been living in a house that my sister Sheree built for her, but since my father passed away, she had begun to feel a little lonely.
    We have constant chaos at our house so it was perfect.
    I told her that the best thing about my house is that my wife and kids are there all the time... and the worst thing about my house is that my wife and kids are there all the time.
    The plan was for my mom to visit my brother, Paul, in Washington, for about a month in order to give us time to get everything ready. We had to clear out our basement, which like most basements, was full of junk. Then, we were to bring over her personal items and furniture and get things situated for her return.
    We had the perfect set up in our basement: a large bedroom... a full bath... a little kitchenette... and her very own spacious living room with a 54-inch TV. The only thing missing was a closet... so we had one built for her.
    Besides having the perfect set up, my mother was getting the opportunity to live with her favorite son!          
    Okay, maybe I am not her favorite son.
    This was made perfectly clear when my sister jokingly commented that Paul was her favorite. Without hesitating, my mother said, You would understand why if you ever spent any time with him out in Washington. Everybody out there loves him, too!
    I am going to chalk my mom's immediate response up to her being old... and crazy... and old. Because frankly, that woman is not that funny... and nobody likes Paul here on the east coast, so why would they like him out west?
    So, back to my perfect plan...
    Yes, it was perfect... until "he" called, in the beginning of October. That's right, "he" is west coast-favorite Paul. You see... he had been talking to Mom about the big move, and it turns out that my basement plan was only mostly perfect... there was one huge problem.
    Hey, Mark... this is Paul.
    Hello Paaaaul (and I said it in a weird, drawn out kinda disgusted way because I wanted to make him feel like I was disgusted that he called me). I know who you are... you're Mom's favorite. 
    Yeah, well funny you should mention Mom because I was talking to her, and she does not want to live in your basement. She feels like she is going to be separated from everyone.
    Whaaaat? (I said this in a weird, sorta panicked kind of way because in a weird sort of way... I was sorta panicked.) I continued, This is why we don't talk to Mom here on the east coast! You didn't tell her that we were going to put her down there and forget about her, did you?... like we did when we were kids... when our other sister Michel got married... and we put her parakeet out in the garage and forgot about it... until it was too late! Poor Petey! We promise to bring Mom up every day!
    No, that is only part of it... she does not want to go up and down steps.
    Paul... we have no bedroom on the first floor... we have no shower on the first floor... we only have 37-inch TV's on the first floor. Stairs are going to be a daily part of her routine, no matter where she sleeps. Did I mention that we had a closet built?  
    Well, she was hoping you could figure a way to work it all out!  
    Hey, wait a second. You're not trying to keep her, are you? You're not getting her. 
    No. I am not keeping her. She is just concerned about being in the basement. 
    Does everyone now understand why we don't talk to her on the east coast? ...And why we don't like Paul?   
    Cheryl and I came up with a second perfect plan... perfect plan B, if you will: shorten our living room and make that her bedroom... expand our bathroom to become a full bath... push our laundry room out into the garage... and create a hallway through the new space with easy access from the laundry room to the garage... and replace the former laundry room with a roomy walk-in closet.
    And one final detail... we would do all of this by Thanksgiving!  
    On a side note, the laundry room kind of intrigued me.
    My mom loves to do laundry. I felt that this bigger laundry room would not only appeal to her, but would satisfy me in ways that I cannot begin to describe.
    We called a couple of contractors to discuss our plan... including our time frame. After they chuckled... or downright laughed... they told us that, yes, it could be done. They made no promises but thought it would be possible.
    I called Paul back and advised him that mom would have stay out west for an extra month... but don't even think about keeping her. She is mine!  
    Remember our basement full of junk? We sort of had a whole house full of junk. We had a lot of work ahead of us before they could start tearing down our walls. This was not going to be easy, but it had to be done.
    The construction commenced on October 22nd.
    Funny thing about doing a construction project with my wife: the entire house looked like a snow globe that you just picked up and shook, and she was losing sleep over a door jam that was off by a quarter of an inch... or a tile joint that was not exactly straight... because she claims that she is a perfectionist. 
    At the time I said, confounded: Perfectionist! Our washer and dryer are in our kitchen... laundry is piling up everywhere... the entire house is full of dust... and our garage is full of tools and supplies... and you claim to be a perfectionist? Well, I am here to tell you that it looks just fine. The problem is that you are watching them make the sausage, and now you don't want to eat the sausage.
    That is not it. I am telling you... the door frame around the laundry room is not level... and the grout lines are off on two of the rows! I can tell!
    What is that... some kind of superpower that you have?... the ability to tell if things are level? I would prefer that you could fly... or make yourself invisible. Well... you tell the workers. I will back you all the way, Wonder Woman! 
    Turns out she was right... the door was uneven and the tiles were off. It was obvious. As the man of the house, I had them make the proper corrections... right after Cheryl asked them to do it!
    Once the work was done, we had to add the finishing touches.
    Throughout the project, Cheryl painstakingly looked for the right vanity and sink... the right bedding... the right curtains... the right paint colors. She hung the right pictures on the wall... perfectly level, by the way... and she had the right flowers on the dresser... ready to greet my mother. Cheryl joked that she was building my mother the room of her own dreams.
    Four days before Thanksgiving, my mother walked into her new bedroom for the first time... and cried. I must admit that it was perfect! All of our hard work and Cheryl's planning paid off.
    On a side note, when my mother walked into our new laundry room, I cried! My clothes are going to be so clean!
    So... she has been here for a few days, and it is as if she has been here for years. The only hiccup so far was on her first night here, Mom said she was going to go rest in her room... and promptly opened the door to the garage.
    Just a small learning curve.
    Right now it is three o'clock in the morning... the day after Thanksgiving. We just hosted dinner for my family, which included nearly fifty people. Everyone got to see the new digs and to visit with Grandma for a bit.
    It was perfect.
    We had had so much help with this project over the past few weeks because everyone wants my mom to be happy.
    There are many things that I am thankful for because God gives us so much. But there are two, in particular, that stand out this Thanksgiving.
    I am blessed to have the chance to provide a home for my mom. She has done so much for all of her children, and this is a great opportunity for me to give some of that back to her.
    I am also blessed to have a wife who cares for my mom so much that she opened our home for her. I would say that Cheryl willingly agreed to this arrangement, but that would not be accurate... she insisted that it be this way.
    So... in a nut shell... I am thankful for the two most important women in my life, and as a bonus, all of my laundry is going to get done... and everything in the house will be level.
    Who could ask for anything more?