FGF Delayed... Funny Gal Friday

    And now, a message from Funny Guy...
    For those of you tuning in for this week's FGF, hang in there, it is coming. BUT be warned ......I have a guest host. Last week, my wife and kids took off to New York City for the day and did so without me. My lovely daughter has some thoughts about the Big Apple and she will share those with you when she gets home from school.  Enjoy!
    By the way, if you like it, she is just like her old man. If you don't like it, blame her mother.  As I always say when something goes awry-----Blame MOM!    
     Okay, so here it is... Funny Gal Friday...

     I sat there and watched out the window as we drove through New Jersey, thinking to myself, New York here we come! 
     As we got closer I could see the beautiful skyline of New York City. There was a thin layer of fog (smog?) covering the city, but that didn’t stop us from seeing the looming skyscrapers towering overhead. Since we had the day off from school, my mom had agreed to take us and some friends to New York City, and boy were we in for an interesting day.

  As we arrived in the City, we were instantly bombarded with the aggressive traffic (boy, a lot of New York drivers were anxious to let my mom know that they are No.1) and were swarmed by yellow taxi cabs, but that was all part of the experience. 

     After finding a parking garage near Battery Park, we walked to the harbor where we boarded the Staten Island Ferry to get a good look at the Statue of Liberty. I was very excited as we inched away out of the harbor. 

     We enjoyed the view, but were all a little hungry and could not wait to get back and eat at my mom’s newfound “favorite restaurant" in Chinatown... a restaurant that my mom had never actually been to, only heard about. Our growling stomachs were all we could think about as we hurried to the subway.

  The subway was a new experience for all of us, and I didn’t quite know what to make of it at first. After getting our metro cards, we passed through the gate to the platform and waited. 

     As we waited, I was standing and talking with my friend when suddenly my mom let out a blood curdling shriek. We whirled around and saw what my mom was pointing to... Rats. Big rats. Yes there really are rats in the subways of New York City... it is not something that film makers just make up to make their movie more interesting, as I had thought. 

     Luckily, just as I was starting to think that I couldn’t handle being in an unfamiliar dark place with a ton of rats, the train pulled up. The ride to Chinatown was quite pleasant and we even got a little bit of entertainment from a few very talented gentlemen. I am happy to report that the rats got off two stops before ours. 

  Yes! Finally we were in Chinatown, and were all starving at this point, and couldn’t wait to eat at this great restaurant that my mom couldn’t stop talking about. Chinatown is a great place to be, with its shops, restaurants and smelly fish markets. However, NOTHING is in English, and to make things worse, we could not find this mysterious restaurant. 

     We went to look at a map to find another place to eat, when a man helpfully pointed out the only thing in Chinatown that we could understand... The Golden Arches. Yes... there was a McDonalds right up the street. 

     The six of us hungrily trudged up the street, led by my always-enthusiastic mother. As we sat there eating our hamburgers and fries, it seemed like a gourmet meal because of how hungry we were, and I couldn’t help but think, Go figure... we had walked through Chinatown for more than an hour trying to find a restaurant... and we ended up eating at an all too familiar McDonalds.

  Soon it was time to head back to the car to do some sightseeing and go home. Now, I had thought we had seen everything there was to see in New York City... the Statue of Liberty, Chinatown, the rats in the subway, and just the city itself... but I had forgotten something. I had forgotten that New York City isn’t the safest city, and that in most movies that take place in New York somebody always get robbed. 

     Like with the rats, I had thought that this was another trick filmmakers use to add drama to a movie, but I found out that I was wrong again. 

     We were standing in line to purchase another subway fare card, when suddenly, a lady ran up and asked very frantically for someone to call the police because there had been a mugging. 

     Up until this point I had been holding my mom's purse, and I now practically threw it back at her for fear that we were the mugger’s next target... every man for herself. Love you mom. 

     The frantic lady went on to explain that a man was just robbed by five people. I believe her exact words were, “A man was just robbed by five kids! There were five of them, two boys and two girls!” 

     Now, I will admit that math is not my best subject, but these numbers just didn’t add up. I fought to keep a straight face, as I realized just how street smart New Yorkers are. We managed to get through the subway ride unharmed, finished our sightseeing, and headed for home.

  So our trip to New York might not have gone exactly how I had imagined, but I had a great time, and most importantly, we found an old friend in McDonalds... which lent its yummy support in our time of desperation and need. 

     Did you know that McDonalds in Chinese is McDonalds? Great in any language!