Funny Guy Friday... Back to School Night...

     School is back in session and with a new school year comes Back to School Night. You know Back to School Night. You love Back to School Night. You go to your kids' class rooms and sit in tiny little chairs with tiny little desks and listen to how wonderful the school year is going to be and how wonderful the kids have been so far. You think to yourself, It's been two weeks, lady, give it some time.
     Every year, Back to School Night is the same for my wife and me. I leave in the morning and remind her that I have practice that night, or a meeting to attend, or something to do that has been on my schedule for weeks. She tells me that I cannot go to my practice or meeting that night because we have Back to School Night.
     I ask, Do I have to go? and she hits me with, You would think that with _______ (fill in the blank for whichever kid it happens to be that night) starting his/her _______ (fill in the grade level of the affected child) grade and spending the whole day with teachers and other people at that school, that you would want to go to find out what is going on in their lives. 
    I respond with a very meek, I don't... I... I really don't want to go.
    She then goes in for the kill with, You are a responsible adult. You can decide what you want to do. 
     Accusing me of being an adult, and compounding it by throwing responsible in there is a low blow. She knows that I am not a responsible adult. This is just code for You better be there or there will be ramifications.
     Personally, I don't think that Cheryl is actually capable of ramifications, but I don't know for sure because I have never missed an event preceded by her accusing me of being an adult, much less a responsible one. But for the record, in an effort to prove that I am not completely afraid of her, I get there late!
     Now, every year, it is becoming clearer that one of two things is happening, either I am getting older, or the teachers are getting younger. That could not have been more evident than this year's visit to Grace's new high school. When I arrived (late, I might add), I had to find Cheryl in this very big school that I had never been in before. Fortunately, there were students in the hallways sending parents in the right direction. When I finally found Cheryl, we headed off to Grace's Geometry class.
     Outside the class was this very nice young lady, a Junior or Senior perhaps, assuring us that we were in the right place. As the session started, this very nice young lady walked in and began to address the parents and I thought she must be the teacher's daughter. She wasn't, she was the teacher.
     One thing that caught my attention was her recommendation about the calculator that the kids would need. She said that they would be able to use them for a long time, and that she bought hers when she started high school and used it through four years of college so it has lasted for eight years now.
     Wait a minute... since I am in math class, let me do a quick word problem:
     If teacher A, Miss Young, starts high school in the ninth grade at the age 13, and buys a calculator that lasts through her four years of high school and then four years of college and the calculator is now 8 years old... How old is Miss Young?
     The answer is 21. Barely old enough to buy a drink.
     How can this be possible? At 21, she is not even old enough for my wife to accuse her of being a responsible adult, for crying out loud!  
     I suppose that both things are happening. I am getting older and the teachers are getting younger, but it is all relative. Recently, Grace asked me if I could guess who she thought was good looking for being an older actor. I guessed Paul Newman and then Clint Eastwood. She did not know who they were and then she told me her answer... Tom Cruise!
     Even Tom Cruise would think that her Geometry teacher was too young.