Adoration...

     I have been going to Adoration on Sunday mornings before Mass.
     Alone in a room, face to face with Almighty God. Aside from the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, it is my favorite hour of my week.
     Sometimes I sit there and stare at the Blessed Sacrament, trying so hard to see with my eyes something that my soul knows is there. Maybe I will see a swirling of majesty. The Risen Jesus, glorified, surrounded by the Heavenly Hosts. Maybe I will see and feel a warm light.
     A few weeks ago, I read something that changed my perspective. I had been so focused on what I could see when I look at Him, that I never stopped to think about what the Lord sees when He looks at me. Does He see a light? Does He see Himself?
     When I am there, part of me wants to approach the Lord Jesus, and hold the Monstrance close to me, as like a hug. To have God close. So close.
     The other part of me says, Don't you dare touch God. I am not worthy. He is perfect, and holy, and pure, beyond my human understanding. I don't dare disturb Him.
     But still, I want to be closer. Physically closer.
     Then I meditated on what I would see, if I could. And He wasn't a swirl of majesty. And He wasn't just a glow. Or the Man Jesus.
     He was a baby. The baby Jesus.
     In my mind and in my heart, I approached the manger of that first Christmas night, and I picked up that Baby. And I held Him close. And He was in my arms. And I kept Him warm.
     Jesus, the infant Savior. My infant Savior.
     For all the times in my life when I need Him... when He alone is my utmost joy... He holds me.
     But in that hour of uninterrupted quiet with the Lord, He needed me, and I held Him. I want to always hold Him close to me. And keep Him warm.... as He needed that first night in that stable. There, with His Mother and Father protecting Him and loving Him, it was safe and warm. But beyond those walls, it was dark and cold. And although there were some people who couldn't wait to meet Him, there were also those who wanted to kill Him.
     Lord, I pray that I can always hold you close. Especially when it is dark and cold out there.