Funny Guy Friday... A simple pat on the rear...

    I will start this week's FGF with an apology for once again writing about the events surrounding my father. For the past few weeks, I have gone to work, and then over to my parents' home. This has been my only source of material.
    When I get to my parents' home, I never know who I might find----my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews or in-laws. We all take turns spending the night watching out for dad and being there for my mom.
    Currently, my dad is sleeping comfortably and communicating with an occasional squeeze of the hand or a raised eyebrow or a slight smile. But this restful state is a new phenomenon. His days and nights have been mixed up and as a result, he was sleeping during the day and restless at night. Despite his weakened state, he was still able to outlast all contenders.
    My first "spend over" with dad had me paired with my brother Jeff. We are both relatively athletic guys. Both played college sports and we can both still go out and play with much younger competitors. Two on one... and the one is an 83 year old with a failing kidney. Can you say mismatch?
    If you took the old guy with the bad kidney, you won.

    We all started out asleep at about 12:30 a.m. Two of us wanted to stay asleep but unfortunately, one of us wanted out of his bed. Over the next two hours, we moved him, we covered him, we uncovered him and we held him. Nice, but he did not want to be moved, held, covered or uncovered. He could not speak but like always, his actions spoke louder than his words. He wanted up and out. We fought to keep him down and in.
    At about 3:00 a.m., we decided to give him a dose of medicine. Before she went to sleep for the night, my sister Michel had laid out all of the medicines, and told us both which one to use, how much to use and when to use it. No problem, we had it all under control---right up until this conversation:

Me: I think we should give him some medicine.
Jeff: Okay, are you sure?
Me: I think so.
Jeff: Okay, you do it.
Me: No you do it.
Jeff: You're closer.
Me: You're older.
Jeff: You're right there!
Me: You can get up and move---we'll trade places.
Jeff: I am going to pound you!
Me: Fine, I'll do it.
Jeff: Are you sure you got the right one?
Me: I think so.
Jeff: You know there are two medicines.
Me: I know.
Jeff: Do you have the right one?
Me: Yeah, I think so, I'm going to give it to him.
Jeff: Wait, do you have the right dosage?
Me: I think so.
Jeff: Are you sure?
Me: This is what she told me to give him.
Jeff: Are you sure we should give this to him?
Me: I think so.  Should I wake up Michel?
Jeff: Yeah, I think so.
Me: MICHEL, come quick!

   Having drafted a third sibling to provide the proper dosage of the proper medicine (for the record, I had it correct), we decided to move dad because he looked uncomfortable as he laid awkwardly on his side across two pillows. We decided that we would move him into a more comfortable position.
   After approximately 90 minutes of pulling, tugging and manipulating him, the three of us got him into a position that looked... well... it looked very uncomfortable, and awkward laying on his side over two pillows. That's right, it took three of us an hour and a half to get him into the same exact position in which he started.
    I am sure that my father was hoping that his other three kids would come in and take over. All six of his kids could not possibly be this incompetent. Satisfied with our success, my sister headed back to bed and left me and my brother to fend for ourselves.
   Oh, but the night was still young for dear old dad.
   After catching a few winks in this new/old position, he demanded, in no uncertain terms, that he wanted up. We tried to avoid this because we were afraid that he would want to get into a chair and then we would not be able to get him back into his bed. Despite our fears, we decided to lift him up out of his bed. We did this exercise five or six times and every time he stood up, he would just stand there and rest his head on my shoulder, or on my brother's shoulder. At one point, while we were holding him up and he was resting his head on my brother's shoulder, I got a pat on the rear.
   After doing the lift and hold routine for about 25 minutes, he wanted back in his bed. As we laid him down, I advised my brother that he should have been working harder on holding dad up instead of giving me a friendly pat on the butt. He then told me that dad patted him on the rear also, and whispered "good boys" while his head rested on his shoulder.
   Three days later, I was paired with my nephew. He was warned of the possibility of an all-nighter. Dad slept through the whole night. Unfortunately, he has not been up much ever since. When my nephew and I woke, I made a deal with him---we will tell everyone we were up all night and that dad did not sleep at all but that we were able to handle it like a couple of veteran candy stripers. The first one to crack and tell the truth owed the other one ten bucks.
   As I recall and write about both nights, I can't help but think that I much prefer the sleepless, exhausting night when my dad patted me on the rear. This was his way of telling me and my brother thank you and that he loved us. It was a simple gesture that spoke volumes. I would gladly spend another sleepless night with my dad in return for a simple pat on the butt because in the end, as always, his actions spoke louder than his words.

   We have been advised that the end is imminent. Once again, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my dad, and just as importantly, for my family. A cousin was over tonight---her father was my dad's best friend, and he had passed away a few years ago. She was talking to my dad at his bedside and described both men as "pillars of their families." A perfect description with an image that has stayed with me.
   In all likelihood, at this time next week, that "Pillar" of our family will not be with us on this earth. That is the sad news. The happy news is that he has led a good life, and I am confident that he will be in a better place with our Lord in heaven.
   He and my mother raised six children that love and support one another. In turn, those children have done the same with their kids, and their kids are now doing the same with their kids. Six kids, twenty six grand kids, thirteen great grand kids, with three more great grand kids on the way---quite a legacy. Other pillars in our family have emerged and still others will develop. None of us will ever replace him, but together we will love and support each other. He built this family on rocks, not sand---because of him, and because of Him, we will be okay.