My husband, the Funny Guy...

     Most of what Mark writes about in his Funny Guy Friday posts are silly, ordinary, everyday, slice of life things... But these past few weeks have been anything but ordinary.
     If you follow this blog, you know by now that Mark's dad is dying.
     His kidneys are failing and he has elected to forego the dialysis.
     The first week at home brought a serenity to Mark's dad.
     He was relatively comfortable, maintained his sense of humor, played cards with the kids, and had many visitors. Each and every grandchild came home to visit him one more time. And of course, Mark's siblings were all there.
     Most of the grandkids have returned to their daily routines, many of them, in other parts of the country. After seeing him with everyone, I would say that PapPap was satisfied.
     But these last few days, pain has replaced the serenity, and he is uncomfortable and agitated. It is harder to carry on normally. The easy conversation and the card playing have stopped. And the pain now requires morphine.
     So Mark and his mom and brothers and sisters must now stand by and live through the very worst.
     There are circles of involvement here that cannot be penetrated. The innermost circle contains only PapPap. Him and the Lord Himself.
     The next circle contains Mark's dad and his mom. I call their approach to this the ultimate gift of the magi, because of their love for each other. He would love to just let go and be with God in the glory of Heaven, but would hold on for her. And she would love nothing more than to have him around for years to come, but would let him go because she loves him.
     The next circle out includes the kids. Mark and his brothers and sisters. This is their dad.
     I am part of the next circle... the siblings' spouses and the grandkids.
     I cannot penetrate the siblings' circle. I can only be present and do what I can to help.
     Mark is dutiful. He tries to keep life as normal as possible. But I know this is harder for him than even I can imagine.
     Through it all, roles among the siblings have emerged. Some are doers... washing dishes, preparing meals. Others make sure the meds are in order. They consult with the nurses about his condition. Still others sit vigil, praying or making sure he doesn't accidentally hurt himself.
     Mark's role is to try to make everyone laugh. He imitates his dad at the table, asking for pancakes made just the right way. He makes fun of his sister for not hooking up the oxygen the right way. Or he tells funny stories from the past. Or he writes a funny post, even though he doesn't feel much like like laughing.
     Or maybe it's because he needs to laugh.
     I love you Funny Guy. You are a blessing to your family.