Funny Guy Friday...My Swan Song!

    I have racked my brain for hours to come up with this week's Funny Guy Friday and have come up with nothing. I have always thought that when a week goes by and nothing funny happens in my life, I would quit writing this silly column. This is the week when it all comes to an end.
    I will admit that a few funny things happened, but nothing that I can really write an entire column about.
    For instance, I really have become addicted to the Angry Birds app on my son's ipod. I play it when I wake up and play it as soon as I get home from work. The other day, Cheryl took the kids out and I was still in bed, in my underwear, playing Angry Birds. When they came home two hours later, I was downstairs sitting on the couch, still in my underwear, still playing Angry Birds. The pathetic thing was that I defended myself by stating that I at least had made it downstairs.
   This isn't funny so much as it is sad.
   Then there was the family game we call Would You Rather? I am sure every family has some version where you give two equally bad options and everyone has to pick which of the bad options they would take. For instance: Would you rather have your arm cut off by a chainsaw... or your leg bitten off by a shark? Now, pick one and you can't say neither! That's the game. We played this week, so now you and your family can feel free to enjoy.
    Anyway, Cheryl hates this game and insists on two nice options such as: Would you rather smell a rose... or smell a daisy? Wake me when it is over. Who cares?
    Again, not really all that funny.
    I fell asleep during a trial this week. That is kind of funny but not much more to it than that. Somebody should, in fact, wake me before it is over! I am sure my client would appreciate it. We won the trial by the way.
    I thought about writing about how the United States bombed Libya and then in an effort to somehow minimize our involvement, we turned the whole process over to NATO. I feel sorry for the poor country that funds that organization and provides resources and soldiers for the NATO forces. Wait a second, that would be us or should I say U.S.  We turned our troops back over to us so we can say that we aren't really all that involved. Very clever but starting a war and then turning over the command of that war back to us is not really funny.
    I do like Kinetic Military Action, though. That is funny. That is stupid funny.
    But that stuff is politics and I leave that topic up to my beautiful right wing wife.
    Grace told a funny story about a kid at school that has a broken foot and actually brought a note from his doctor that said that in the event of an emergency, two teachers have to carry him down the steps. Are you kidding me? Those doctors have too much time on their hands if they even think to write that note. I pictured two teachers sitting in a glass box with the sign out front reading, "In case of emergency, break glass."  That's it though, that's the whole story.
    Baseball has started and I had to cut kids from the team that I am coaching. Definitely not funny. Cheryl asks if any kids cried and I always say that the only one crying was me.
    Noah is playing baseball this year and he has informed me that at the age of six, he does not need to practice hitting because he "has that part of the game all figured out." In a moment of humility, he does concede that his fielding could use a little work though. What the heck, if he gets a hit every time, he can just be a DH.  Cute and funny, but the season has not started yet, so, not that much more to it.
   I asked Matthew if anything happened funny with him this week and he announced that this week was a "solemn week" for him. I suppose ten-year-olds having a solemn week is funny in a weird sort of hide the ropes and razor blades kind of way. Don't really want to write about that, though.
   Cheryl is PMS'ing---NOT. FUNNY. AT. ALL.  
  
    So, that is it, I am officially retired, and this will be my last Funny Guy Friday.  I hoped to make it to a year's worth, but forty five weeks is a pretty good run. I hope that you have enjoyed my musings. I bid you all a fond farewell!

    Happy April 1st. See you next week!