Funny Guy Friday… Our big week!

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So… I married a funny guy...
     This past week we had two big events in our household. On Sunday, Noah received his first Holy Communion. He looked dapper in his double breasted suit that we borrowed from a family with twelve kids. Why shop for a suit that he will only wear once or twice when you have friends with twelve kids? Heck, we could do all of our shopping in their closets.
     Noah looked so good in his suit and tie that I caught him making out with his reflection in the mirror. Okay, he wasn't exactly making out with himself, but he was giving himself the dreamy eyed "smolder look." How could he possibly turn himself down?
     First Communion was preceded by weeks of classes and practice with his CCD classmates. On Saturday, they had their final practice and Father Parry took the opportunity to go over some of the questions that he planned on asking them on Sunday during his homily. When the time came, it was obvious that the kids knew their stuff. They answered his questions with complete confidence and accuracy. I am proud to say that Noah's hand shot up on just about every question.
     On the way to church that morning, I gave my boy some great advice that I learned in law school. Always raise your hand on questions that you know so they won't call on you when your hand is not up. Beat them to the punch----best defense is a good offense. I would like to say that this strategy served me well, but the truth of the matter is, I never knew any answers in law school, so I mostly resorted to Plan B. Plan B consisted of keeping my head down and pretending to read something out of the book.
     I must admit, I was a bit nervous. What if Noah missed a question right there in front of God and everyone. Everyone would blame me because they all know Cheryl is sort of a super human Catholic and I am a lowly convert. The potential for me being humiliated was very high.
     Anyway, Noah got a softball of a question that he fielded with ease. I felt a bit relieved and was now able to sit back in my pew and enjoy watching the other kids make potential fools of their parents. For instance when Father Parry asked who can give Communion, one youngster blurted out that Jesus can give Communion. Father Parry was very kind and said that if Jesus were here, he sure could give Communion. Deep down I know he was thinking, Yeah sure kid, Jesus is coming down from His kingdom in Heaven to administer the Eucharist. While He is here, perhaps he could crank out a wedding and a baptism for good measure. That kid's poor parents must have been devastated.
     As the homily wrapped up, Father Parry commented on how wonderful the kids performed and how impressed he was with their responses. Then he asked the kids if there were anything important that he had left out… sort of acknowledging to the congregation that he was done and we would be moving on to the big event.
     Then it happened… one little hand shot up and one poor dad started sweating and squirming forward, back to the edge of his pew. Who was this brave young First Communicant that was going to tell MONSIGNOR Parry what he had left out? You guessed it; it was Brother Noah.
     At first there was silence… an awkward, dead kind of silence. Then Noah advised, You forgot to say that if you are sick or are taking care of someone who is sick, then you don't have to go to Mass on Sunday. 
     Oh no, what a knucklehead. What was he doing? Surely everyone was going to think that I am always trying to get out of going to Mass. Everybody knows that Saint Cheryl would never dream of getting sick on a Sunday. What was Father Parry going to think? Maybe I could slip an extra $100 in the basket.
     Father Parry got excited and agreed that this was true and that he did forget to mention that. In fact, he walked over to Noah and gave him a holy high five and told him that he must have really been paying attention to remember such important information.
     Whew, crisis averted! I think my father-in-law, who was sitting behind me, leaned over and gave me a nice reassuring pat on the shoulder. On further review, I was proud of Noah, but I was left wondering why he was the only one in the class that remembered the only way to get out of going to Mass on Sunday.
     The second big event this week was that Matthew turned twelve on Tuesday. We could not be prouder of Matthew, who is becoming a fine young man.
     However, I was a bit surprised when my wife sent an email to a group of kids, and to me at work, inviting us all to a party on Saturday. That's right, I got an email inviting me to my son's birthday party. I wonder who is paying for this extravaganza.
     I was more surprised to read that the party will start at 2pm and will include a movie, pizza, and play time, and will end around 9pm. Seven hours with a bunch of pre-teen boys; why, that is a fate worse than death. Why not invite them over to spend the entire weekend?     
Cheryl assured me that this is what Matthew wanted and that it will be fun. I am sure that it will be, but I am just as sure that I will have a major headache as a result.
     Hey, you know what… I won't have to go to Mass on Sunday!