Funny Guy Friday… All aboard!!!!

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband, Mark. So… I married a funny guy…
     For about two weeks, my daughter Grace had been complaining about pain that she had felt after doing her nightly crunches on a semi-hard floor. She claimed that she had broken her tailbone. We did what we normally do when Grace complains… we ignored her.
     Unfortunately, the complaints continued, and I asked if she had fallen and somehow injured herself. I was suspicious because for Easter, Cheryl bought Grace a Rip Stick. A Rip Stick is a cross between a snow board and a skateboard. I have dubbed it the Broken Wrist Stick because that is what I see in our future. I was sure that she had fallen and was not telling us… and by us, I really mean me because I have made my opinions of the Rip Stick known to all that would listen.
     On Friday, Cheryl called me at work and had that overly calm tone in her voice that tells me she has bad news but I should not be worried. It seems that along with the pain, Grace had some swelling and a fever, and since Grace's pain was getting worse and not better, they were on their way to the doctor's. The problem is that severe pain with fever is not good, and can sometimes be really bad. If you know me at all, you may have guessed, despite my wife's calm demeanor, I was very worried.
     Once I got home, Cheryl called from the doctor's office and let me know that they were headed to the hospital for a little procedure that would relieve the pain. Not a pleasant procedure but fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. I was surprised to hear that Grace did not want me to know what was going on because she was sure that I was going to "flip out" at the news of a trip to the ER. I am not sure what Grace expected from me, and I also wondered if she thought I would just forget about the whole episode and never asked what happened. Her reaction also clearly exhibits the differences between Cheryl and me.
     Allow me to elaborate…
     While at the hospital, my daughter was wearing a shirt she had made for a high school homecoming game that read We bust ours so we can beat yours. Cheryl laughingly pointed out the irony of the shirt, considering the fact the Grace thought she had a broken tailbone.
     I should have been with Grace because I would have taken the whole thing way more seriously than Cheryl. She never gets upset, and tends to down play everything. I, on the other hand, have normal human emotions and get fearful and upset. I can sum this up by saying: I overreact at potentially bad news and she does not. I think my way is better for everyone involved.
     A little morphine, and a reassuring bedside manner from the attending physician, and my girl Grace was pain free once again... and on her way.
     A couple of days later, at a follow-up visit with the pediatrician, we were advised that a further surgery could be required someday. This sent Grace back into a panic. Again, I wish I had been there to suffer with my baby girl. Cheryl told her to relax and never assume the worst. I would have told her to go ahead and assume the worst, and if it is any different we can readjust. That is normal, isn't it? If you think like me, good news is like a bonus that you never expected to receive.
     The pediatrician referred us to a surgeon. It turns out that she is the mom of one of the kids on my baseball team. I assured Grace that if the doctor messed anything up, I would dramatically reduce her son's playing time. I felt that we had the upper hand on this situation.
     Grace and I were both very nervous about the meeting with the surgeon. Grace did not want to go and I must say that I did not blame her. After hearing Grace complain about the appointment for several minutes, Cheryl had had enough: Stop thinking about yourself and say a prayer for Aunt Karen! she demanded.
      What in the world was she talking about? We were all thinking that we love Aunt Karen and we know she is having some issues, but if Grace is going to say a prayer, why can't she just say a pray for herself. Cheryl then launched into an explanation: Instead of  worrying about something that may or may not happen in your future, say a prayer for someone who is actually suffering.
      Can't we do both? Can't we be scared and nervous without knowing what is really going on? Why can't we be miserable anticipating the worst? And then say a prayer for Aunt Karen. Seriously, what is with Cheryl?
      But my wonderful wife was not done yet. She took this opportunity to impugn my good character with the following life lesson: You have two options every time you come to a cross road. You can take the dark and cloudy, scary road, with monsters and goblins at every corner, jumping out and telling you that things are going to be bad… we will call that the Daddy Road. Or you can take the road of sunshine and happiness where all is calm and good… we will call that the Mommy Road. No matter which road you take, you end up in the same exact place. Why worry yourself on the Daddy Road?
     Wait a second... the Daddy Road is a good road. Daddy Road is a crowded road with lots of people that, well, er uh… lots of people that anticipate the worst and fear the unknown.  That's normal isn't it? I mean, do most people wait to find out the whole story before they start to worry? Nobody does that, do they?
     Mommy Road may be bright and happy, but nobody is there except my wife and a couple of Disney Princesses. You know the ones that have birds that help them get dressed and  squirrels and bunnies that help them mop their dirty floors.
    Well, the good news is that Grace received a bonus… no extra surgery will be required.  It turns out that Cheryl was right, and there was no reason to get excited. After receiving the good news, Cheryl told Grace the same thing that she has been telling me for the past twenty years… Feel free to climb aboard the Cheryl Happy Train. There is plenty of room for everyone.
    I suppose that Cheryl is right. Why worry unless there is something to worry about? God has His plan and no matter what we do, His will will be done.
    I hate when she is right!
   After twenty years, I should know to jump aboard the Cheryl Happy Train. The only problem is that I can't do that right now because I have this pain in my right knee. I am pretty sure that I have a torn ACL and will not be able to jump aboard anything for some time. I haven't seen a doctor or anything, but what else could it be? I hear the surgery is a bear and the rehab takes months.
    Woe is me!