Funny Guy Friday... A train wreck in the making...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy.
     Two unrelated events occurred this week, each seemingly having nothing to do with each other. Yet somehow, some way, they weaved their way together, colliding in a tragic train wreck of an ending.
     Event number one was a joint Bar Association meeting between the Calvert County Bar Association and the Saint Mary's County Bar Association.
     Although a member of the Board of Directors of the Calvert County Bar for eight years, I am not a big fan of attending these get-togethers. It's not that the meetings are bad, in fact they are usually pretty fun. It's just that I have a wife and three kids that I don't see enough of, and these meetings are just more time away from the family.
     But this particular meeting was kind of a big deal. The Chief Judge from the Court of Appeals, the highest court in the State of Maryland, was scheduled to speak.
     I don't do appellate work because, frankly, I'm not smart enough. I don't pay much attention to the judges on the Appellate Courts, but I do know this... they pepper attorneys with questions that they already know the answers to. And they are the smartest of the smart. I often say that I don't always know the law, but I have a pretty good feel for it. That kind of idiotic statement does not work with these guys.
     Anyway, this guy was coming to our little county, and I knew enough that I should be there.
     At least that was my intention.
     Then on Tuesday, my nephew had a baby. Well, he didn't have the baby exactly... his wife did. But I'm pretty sure he had something to do with it. You know you are getting old when the ring bearer from your wedding is having kids. This is their first child, but this new little guy is my mother's 24th great-grandchild.
     My mom lives in Calvert County, near where I work. The hospital is near my house in Annapolis, about forty-five minutes from my office. Cheryl called to ask me if I could pick up my mother and bring her to our house, and then we could go and see the baby. Unfortunately, this was the same night as the Bar Association meeting.
     You know, first-born babies are a bigger deal than some silly Bar Association meeting. Besides, this is my mom we are talking about. Mother of 6, grandmother of 26 and now great-grandmother of 24.
     I will go to next year's Bar meeting to see that old coot.
     With that being said, I picked up my mother and brought her to our house. We had a delicious dinner and then headed off to the hospital.
     I must say, I have three kids and I thought all of them were beautiful babies... ahem, kind of looking a little bit like me. However, one look at this little guy and I was embarrassed for mistakenly believing that Cheryl had had cute babies. Now that I think about it, each of our kids looked more like Cheryl's side of the family when they were born. Cute, but nothing to shout about... like a true Palumbo baby... like this little guy.
     He is perfect.
     Now, you may be thinking, big deal, he missed a bar meeting to go see his nephew's baby. Where is the train wreck?
     If that was all that had happened, you'd be right. Unfortunately, there is more to the story.
     Yesterday, I finished with court early and went to see my friend, Judge Chandlee, who was just sworn in about a month ago. He was still on the bench, so I waited in his chambers for him to finish. In the meantime, I had a nice chat with his secretary.
     After about fifteen minutes, another judge from our county, Judge Clagett, came into Judge Chandlee's chambers with three other women. I stood up to greet them and was introduced by Judge Clagett. As usual, I wasn't really paying attention to their names as they were introduced.
     This is a terrible habit of mine. I don't listen carefully and tend to forget people's names as soon as I hear them. This is a character flaw that may come back to haunt me someday. These women had something to do with the court... decorators or some such thing.
     The one woman mentioned that I looked familiar.
     Being the funny guy that I am, I responded... I get that a lot. Tom Cruise? No? Perhaps you are confusing me with Brad Pitt. 
     She countered, Well, you are a funny guy, I am going to remember you! 
     Oh, if I had a nickel for every time a woman said that she would remember me, I'd be a rich man!
     The visitors, led by Judge Clagett, wrapped up their little visit to the new judge's chambers, and I heard one of the women mention that she had gone to law school at the University of Maryland.
     I joked, Oh, you couldn't get into Catholic University, huh? 
     Guess who went to law school at Catholic University... me, of course!
     I was at my best... cute and charming. They loved me!
     Then one of them said that I reminded them of an attorney in Montgomery County. Staying cute and charming, I said, Oh, he must be a handsome guy.
     They chuckled, talked amongst themselves and then moved on.
     Now you may still be thinking...where's the train wreck.
     Well, had my nephew not had that stupid baby... and if I had attended the Bar Association meeting as planned, I would have known that the Chief Judge of the Court of Appeals is not a man at all. He is a woman. He is a very nice woman who often travels with his law clerk and visits various counties. Often times, he is accompanied by the Chief Clerk of the Court.
     All three women.
     All three, way smarter than I.
     All three taking a tour of the new judge's chambers in Calvert County.
     The good news is that I was cute and I was charming. And she did say that she would remember me.
     I am never going to do any appellate work.