Funny Guy Friday... My brother seems to be winning Holy Week...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     It's Holy Week at the Palumbos'. It is only Holy Thursday and I am off to a bad start.
     Before I tell you why, I want to remind everyone that several months ago, we renovated our home so that my mother could move in with us. We shortened our living room and made it into a bedroom... we  expanded our powder room and created a full size bathroom with a walk-in shower... we turned our laundry room into a closet... and we moved our laundry room into our two car garage... rendering it useless as a two car garage.
     Our house was upside down for about a month.
     No problem... my mom is worth it.
     She was lonely in her home after my dad passed away, and I had the perfect solution... a home with a wife and three kids that were there all the time. I told her that this was both the best and the worst part about our home... my wife and kids are there all the time!!!
     But it is all good... Cheryl is a great caretaker and the boys could not be more helpful to their grandma. I chip in wherever I can, and I thought my mom was grateful... until today.
     A little back story: my mother is Lutheran and we are Catholic... pretty close if you ask me. If you can get by the women pastors and a few other minor details, they are practically the same.
     Author's note... that last line was for my lovely, life-long Catholic wife. She likes to remind me of the Eucharist whenever I say they are practically the same. She blames Martin Luther for the whole mix-up. Or as she says... "He is the one that did the leaving in the Fire Swamp." I love it when she seamlessly weaves in references to the Princess Bride in the middle our religion talks. Is it any wonder that I love her so much?
     Anyway, because of our differing religions, there are times when we will drop my mother off at her church and proceed to our Mass. Today... Holy Thursday... was one of those days. Fortunately, both of our start times were 7:30, so that was no problem.
     The problem was that our Catholic Mass was going to be a marathon with the procession of about eighty altar servers, the washing of the feet, robing of the new altar servers, and a full-blown adult choir that takes all the fifteen-second prayers and turns them into Stairway to Heaven. Then the Priest does the whole transubstantiation thing that my wife so adores, and BOOM... you're at two-and-a-half hours.  
     The Lutherans, on the other hand, get it done and get it done quickly, so she was going to be stranded for more than an hour.
     What to do... What to do.
     I went to the ball field with Matthew in the afternoon and when I returned, Cheryl told me that she had it all worked out. My brother Jeff volunteered to meet Mom at her church and attend that service alongside of her.
     Great... I guess we can get her afterward from his house. Done.
     Exactly... by the way, Cheryl unnecessarily whispered, when I told her that your brother was going to go to church with her, she was so touched... she cried!
     What? She cried? She never cries for anything that I do for her. What an attention-seeking bum Jeff is! I would have dragged her rear end to church every now and again and stuck around had I known it was going to make her cry! I mean the services are kind of the same anyway!
     They are not... and do I have to tell you why... again!
     You know... I blame you for this riff between my mom and me. If  you would just get over the Eucharist thing, we could hit the Lutheran church every now and again... and make my mother cry! 
     You are so sad. 
     Why would you say that? Paul is a Lutheran minister and Mom adores him... and now Jeff is trying to get his religious piece of the pie. Of course, I could use this to my advantage... let this little turf war between Paul and Jeff play out... and then swoop in and take advantage of that. 
     You are pathetic!
     What am I supposed to do? I got no "hook" into her... all I got is this stupid house! Is converting back to Lutheran out of the question? Mom would definitely get mushy about that. She'd forget all about stupid ol' Jeff... maybe even Paul, too. 
     Yes, converting is out of the question! I am going to pray for you!
     Pray that Jeff gets a flat tire and leaves my mother stranded at her church! That's what you need to pray for!  
     Despite all of my plans, Jeff made it to church on time. Get this, they were finished by 8:20... less than an hour! We were just getting warmed up by then. Jeff went to church with her and then had time alone with her.
     I bet they talked about me! I bet they talked about me the whole time.
     Well, Good Friday provides more opportunities for me to do something nice to make my mother cry!
     As I re-read what I've written here so far... it sounds so awful.
     You know, Cheryl might be on to something: I am kind of pathetic.
     On this night, the night he was betrayed, Jesus gave humanity the gift of Himself... for all time... at the Last Supper. Yes, the Eucharist. Then the next day, in an act of love beyond our imagination, He took our sins to the cross and suffered the most dreadful of deaths for the benefit of all who would believe. He then conquered death and ascended into Heaven... and sits at the side of the Lord... and I treat this day as an opportunity to impress my mother.
     I am sad!
     Forget all of this... On Good Friday, I will go to church and say a Hail Mary or two, watch the Passion Play, and attend Stations of the Cross. I will offer all these things... as well as my prayers... up to the Lord, remembering in a special way my family, including my brothers and my mother.
     After all, it is the right thing to do on this most holy of weekends.
     Now... Let's see Jeff beat that!
   
     Hope everyone has a Happy and Blessed Easter!
     He has Risen! Alleluia! Alleluia!