Funny Guy Friday… Back to Camp Maria...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark.  So, I married a funny guy...
     I have written each year about our yearly Catholic family retreat to Camp Maria. Let me remind you about the camp Maria experience... We pack half of our belongings into our Honda Pilot and trek on down to Saint Mary's county the first weekend of August. We pick that weekend because it is the hottest weekend of the year.
      I suppose we do this so we can experience what it is like in hell. Scared straight and all. We all stay in bunkhouses with no air conditioning. Open air bunk houses that are way fun in rainstorms, which occur at least once every year. If you aren't fast enough to push all the beds into the center of the room, they get soaked.
     Who cares if your beds get soaked… You're vacationing in hell for goodness' sake.
     Apparently, you wake up early every day in the underworld because we get up early at Camp Maria. I guess that is because the mosquitoes enjoy breakfast. But not just mosquitoes, last year, we were  visited by skunks... lots of skunks... that will hang out under the open air bunk houses.
     Every bunkhouse is named after a bird. For ten straight years, we have been assigned the Oriole!  The Oriole happens to be right next to the nightly corn hole game that starts at 8:00 p.m. and ends about, oh I'd say, 2:00 a.m. Apparently, the devil goes to bed with a steady Thump.... Thump.... Thump... Thump. Followed by rounds of laughter and trash talk. The devil loves 2 a.m. trash talk.
     We actually enjoy the Oriole. It is right there in the middle of everything.
     There is one shower house amongst all the bunkhouses... that's right... one bathhouse. In a crazy time in our country, when you need three bathrooms for men, women and the undecided, this place has only one. Has to be some violation of some federal law. The one shower gives rise to the yearly joke... Women are odd so they get the odd hours.
     Stupid joke but someone makes it every year.
     Now, having said all that, it is one of our favorite weekends of the year. Kids love it and parents are spiritually renewed. Except for the skunks, we would not change a thing. Keep that in mind as you hear what happened this year...
     Every year we change lead couples. Lead couples occasionally make a minor change or two but nothing drastic. This year, my good friend Joe and his wife Aimee were the big Kahunas. Joe is smarter than the average bear. He is successful, good looking and has three great looking boys and a beautiful wife. Joe is a good friend. I hate Joe! My guess is that he has not achieved all these wonderful things in his life by sticking with the status quo!
       It turns out, he didn't. There were going to be some changes. Change is never good.
       That change started a few weeks ago when we got a call from one of the retreat coordinators asking Cheryl if we would mind moving out of the Oriole.
      What?... Move out of the Oriole!  Where would we go? Why? What is going on? I knew Joe was gonna screw everything up!
      They asked if we would mind moving over to the Osprey!
      Huh? The Osprey? With the air conditioning?
      Yes, there are more people coming this year and they need to make some changes. They offered the Osprey to PJ because of his heart surgery, but PJ thought their little boy would not like to change out of their cabin, so they said no.
       Air conditioning... Right? Joe may not be as bad you think Cheryl, and I must say... PJ is an idiot. The surgery on his heart affected his brain.We won't even ask Noah... He will understand. We will do it. We will take one for the team and move to the Osprey. The Palumbos are otherly!
      On the way down to the retreat, Noah asked what an Osprey sounds like.
      My response was swift. It sounds like the humming of an air conditioner!
      We arrived Thursday night and the Osprey had some issues. The temperature control was hard to figure out so it got pretty cool in there in the evening. The sound system kind of crackled when we adjusted the volume. The water pressure in our private bathroom... with two separate showers…was only adequate. And we were kind of off the beaten path... away from all the action… and the corn hole thumping. The quiet is kind of deafening.
     And in the Osprey, if someone gets up in the middle of the night, they could wake you. That didn't actually happen, but it could.
      Finally, the kitchen was a little small and not what Noah is used to working with…. although the fridge kept our beverages nice and cool.
     By the way, if anyone needed ice, we had an extra bag in our freezer! Turns out we didn't need it.
     We wondered what we had done to deserve such luxury. Then, I kind of got bummed out because it occurred to me that they offered it to PJ because he was damaged goods. Tired and weak from his recent surgery. Was I next in line after PJ? Do they think I  am next in the damaged and weak line of succession?
     I immediately dismissed this because, by my own count, there are at least five or six guys that would be further up the dismally weak food chain.
     Then we realized one of our Osprey roommates was a guy named Mike. Everyone tolerates Mike, but there are times when he can be hard to handle. I dismissed this idea because his wife Michele is so nice, she more than makes up for Mike.
      We finally just decided: Change isn't bad. Change is good. Our family is good. We are deserving of this upgrade.
      Or, the more plausible explanation, it was just dumb luck.
      By the way, Joe and Aimee made some other changes as well. They changed the way the talks were conducted… complete success. They invited some nuns to tag along… complete success. And they recruited a new priest that brought an infectious enthusiasm to the weekend… complete success!
      But who cares about those changes? We were hanging in the Osprey at Camp Maria.  Besides, due to the condensation from the AC on the Osprey windows, we couldn't really see all the results of those changes. Another issue we had to deal with over at the Osprey!
      Ah, Camp Maria... The kids love it and the parents feel spiritually renewed.
      When I think about it, the only person that doesn't like Camp Maria, is the devil. He can't handle it!
      Just when we thought it couldn't get any better... God continues to bless us.
      Another great retreat.