Funny Guy Friday... Sir, your flight has been delayed... but the start of school hasn't...

    It's that time of year.
    You know the time... 6 a.m. when you gently wake your kids for the first day of school. Or is it 6:09 a.m. when you shake them a bit to get them moving. Or is it 6:18 when you nudge them and pull the covers off. Or maybe it is 6:27 when you go nuts and tell them you are going to pour water all over them if they don't get out of bed and get ready.
   After all... you can't be late on the first day!
   This begs two questions... Is it okay to be late on other school days of the year, and, more importantly, who decided that the snooze button works for 9 minutes.  Why not 10 or 11?  Or 8 for that matter?
    I thought of a third question... Why does the school year start earlier and earlier every year.  Whatever happened to watching the Jerry Lewis telethon on Labor Day and then going back to school?
    I just kind of assumed Grace would go back to college the last week of August and Matthew would head back in the beginning of September. Noah is homeschooled so he does not start until, oh, I don't know, maybe mid-October.
    As a result of my assumptions, I planned our Hawaiian vacation from August 9th to the 22nd... 7:00 a.m. on the 22nd to be exact. I was a little disappointed to learn that Grace had to be back in college on the 23rd for classes on the 24th, and Matthew was to start his school on the 25th.
    Ouch! That is early! Jerry Lewis would not approve. 
    Well, at least I wasn't stupid enough to schedule a flight that returned at 7 a.m. on the 23rd. That would have been an exhausting disaster!
     This was the exact thought that went through my mind when our Friday, the 21st, flight out of Hawaii was two hours late, and we were to have had a two-hour layover in San Francisco. Do the math... this was going to be close. This was going to be real close... about two minutes to spare to be exact. Two minutes to catch our connecting flight home.
     I assumed that the airline would hold that flight; I mean we are talking maybe 15-20 minutes at the most before we boarded that connecting flight. We were assured that they knew our plight.  
     Another stupid assumption on my part. We did land two minutes before our other flight took off but alas... they did not hold it. They didn't even try.
     So we did as we were instructed and we got in line for rerouting assistance. This is when the fun began. Even though we were assured they knew we were on that plane, it appeared that United Airlines was unaware there was even a plane landing at that hour. They sure as heck were not aware that about 40 families were in the same boat as we.
     We got in that line at about 11:30 p.m. Friday night and remained in that line until about 3 a.m. Saturday.  On a side note, I had made a comment that everyone was pretty calm and cordial for being stranded at an airport in a line for going on two hours. Those comments were barely out of my mouth when a woman walked from the back of the line to the front of the line and demanded that she be assisted because... she was traveling with a dog!
    That's right... Fido needed a biscuit and time was of the essence.
    People with young kids did not take too kindly to this demand.  And suddenly they overheard that there would be no food or hotel vouchers for their inconvenience. There went the kind and cordial train, out of the station.
    Nearing 4 a.m., we learned that the next possible flight home was the exact one we were supposed to be on... only departing Saturday night near midnight, on the 23rd. It was to land at 7 a.m. on Sunday, the 24th. That's okay, Gracie handled it well... if sobbing to your mom in the middle of San Fran International is considered handling it well (she had quite a bit to do before heading back to school, and we were already cutting it close as it was).
    Cheryl was coming a little undone at the airport as well, not because of the delay, or because of all we still had to do, but because of the airline's complete disregard for our time.
    You know who did handle it well? You'll never guess. Go ahead... guess!
    Me. I handled it well. I was calm, cool and collected. I was awesome. In fact, everyone commented that I handled it well and Cheryl did not. Ha Ha, I win! I win!
    Although, I will admit that it got pretty old hearing the kids repeat how surprised they were that I was the calm one for a change! 
    I felt bad for Gracie. She was very excited to get back to school and now we were stranded in San Francisco! What's that? San Francisco is the coolest city ever! Darn right it is! Let's rent a car and get a hotel and see the city.
   Problem... no hotel vacancies.
   But remember how calm and cool I was. It paid off. The nice lady that helped us, gave us some food vouchers, because, and I quote You were so nice! She may have said you all were so nice but she really meant me because Cheryl was freaking out... as much as she ever freaks out!  
    She also gave us a number for an airport service that helps locate hotel vacancies. Problem solved... I found a room 10 minutes from the airport. Now let's go rent that car!    
    Problem... no cars available.
    It was about 4 a.m. when we went to our last hope for a car. Alleluia! They had one. On to the hotel.
    Problem... we got our key and went to our room but when I opened the door, it was chain locked from the inside of the room. How could this be? I thought to myself for a second and it dawned on me... The room was occupied!
    The nightmare continued!
    Finally, nearing 5 a.m. we got an unoccupied room. We slept off and on for about 5 hours, showered, put back on our worn clothes (because of course our luggage did not catch up to us, and was somewhere at the airport) and went off to see San Francisco.
    If Baltimore and Annapolis had a baby and it grew up to be a strapping handsome lad, it would be San Francisco. It was beautiful and very outdoorsy... crowded but without seeming claustrophobic. We did quite a bit that day: we saw the bay whose water was surprisingly blue, the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf, Chinatown, and so much more.  We had a great day and in the end, were grateful for the wonderful opportunity to see such a great city.
    But there was still this little problem of getting Grace back to school. She still had to pack up. For the record, I would have helped had I not fallen asleep on our couch about ten minutes after arriving home. Grace was a dynamo though. She packed and got everything to the front door. She and Cheryl even went to Target and bought all of her supplies. They woke me at 1:00 p.m. so I could drive her up the The Mount!
    Cheryl and Grace slept the whole way. I got to listen to the music that I enjoyed and to keep the car at a temperature that I desired. We met her new roommate, got her room organized and I headed home with a well-rested wife. Needless to say, on the way home, I did not get to listen to the music that I wanted, nor did I get to keep the car at a temperature that I desired.
    So there it is. The end of summer and the beginning of the school year. We got the most out of the summer, that is for sure.
    Not much to look forward to at this point. Kind of depressing actually.
    Oh well, I might just curl up with a good book and watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon!
    Problem... I think Jerry is dead.
    Not dead? Just stopped doing the telethon five years ago?
    Maybe his flight got delayed and he just never made it there.