Funny Guy Friday... Mac versus the Volcano

     The following story may or may not be true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent… or the guilty… depending on how you look at it.
     A wonderful family was vacationing in Hawaii. While in the ocean, being his gregarious self, the dad, a handsome chap by the name of... oh I dunno, lets go with Mac Palmer… struck up a conversation with an Hispanic gentleman and his son about the son's upcoming college academic and baseball career. Both topics near and dear to Mac, a former college athlete and current coach who helps guide young men in the right direction in both their baseball and life paths. His knowledge of baseball and of life is vast due to his experiences on the diamond and in the legal field!
     Mac is a brilliant attorney and quite a guy!
     As Mac and his lovely wife... we will call her Carol... were packing up their gear at the end of their beach day, the Hispanic guy came over to inquire as to the week's plans for the family. Carol and Mac were accompanied by their adventuresome and cool daughter, sweet Stacie, a soon to be college Sophomore, their athletic teenage son, Patt (with two t's) and their youngest boy, the artistic and humorous…. Moses.
     Not sure but we think we will try to arrange a swim with the dolphins, a tour of the volcano and maybe a trip over to Hilo to see the waterfalls. 
     If you are interested in a dolphin swim, I have a girl that does private tours. She has taken out my family that last two times we have been on the Island. Her name is JoLee. I will send her your information and have her contact you. She is also less expensive than those bigger tours. 
     Sounds great. Mac always loves a bargain.  
     The gentleman's word was good and soon JoLee made contact and a date was set for the dolphin swim. If Mac were writing this, he would say it was one of the greatest days of his life. Hundreds of dolphins only feet away as the entire family snorkeled in the beautiful blue waters of Kealasomethingsomething Bay. They all sounded the same to Mac.
     At the conclusion of the swim, Carol and JoLee struck up a conversation and it turns out that JoLee does volcano tours and will take people on tours of the waterfalls in Hilo too. JoLee explained that she can take you places where very few people get to go on those commercial trips!
     This was fortunate for the nice family because it resolved all plans that, to the chagrin of Mac, had yet to be made… plus it was cost effective! And if these tours were as good as the dolphin swim, an already unbelievable vacation was about to get even better.
     Plans were left kind of loose but on Mac's birthday, after a wonderfully relaxing day at another beautiful beach, JoLee called and asked if the family could be ready to drive two hours to Volcano National Park because this night would be perfect for a hike to the volcano! 
     The night plans were no surprise because the family had been advised that the active volcano was better to see late at night because you can see the orange glow light up the sky.
     Plans were confirmed and at 7 p.m. the family, accompanied by JoLee, packed up the rental vehicle and took off to the south side of the Island. It was a fun road trip; the family got to know JoLee who, as it turns out, is kind of a free spirit. Very nice and willing to do whatever it takes to give people that Aha moment... Their above and beyond. 
     They arrived just after 9 p.m. and it was pitch dark. The Big Island has very little artificial white light due to the observatory on the Island. They parked in an area where there were no other cars. This was going to be exciting!
     There had been little discussion as to exactly what they were going to do, but JoLee advised that this will be as good or better than the dolphins! Mac was sure that JoLee had some little used route to a nice spot where they could see down into the volcano.
     When they started to unload the equipment for the hike, JoLee gave everyone a light for their head and a flashlight to carry. She then gave the first hint that something was amiss… Each of these head lights has a white light and a red light. Try to use the red light because it looks like lava! 
     Mac thought to himself… are we trying to sneak up on the lava without it noticing us? 
     Then the group, led by JoLee, headed down a paved road. Again, Mac thought… I wonder when 
we get on the little used path that very few people get to travel.  
     The group walked past a gate that was still open and continued on. They could see the orange sky and could hear the earth rumbling with the molten lava. It was kind of eerie to see and hear that off in the distance.
     Then the group approached a second gate, this time it was closed with a sign indicating only authorized personnel. JoLee walked right around that gate. Mmmm… is she authorized personnel?
Then it dawned on Mac that they were traveling on a road intended for those that work for the National Park. I wonder where we are going and when we are getting off of this road? Mac pondered as they kept walking in the pitch dark.
     The answer was never. Well that is not exactly true. The road ended near a cabled-off area that housed a sandy/rocky/glassy-dusty substance that can best be described as what you might find on the surface of the moon. This sandy/rocky/glassy-dusty substance surrounded THE FLIPPING ACTIVE VOLCANO CRATER ITSELF!
     That's right boys and girls, JoLee took this family on a road that very few people legally get to travel and took them to the edge of an active volcano!
     As Mac approached the brim of the volcano, many things were running through his mind, such as... the sounds of the shifting earth that they heard as they hiked down this rarely traveled path... And the unbelievable heat that was being generated... And the fact that if any of us slipped, we would be lost in an active volcano. But the overriding fear that ran uncontrollably through his mind was: if someone were to catch them out at this volcano, his legal career might just be over!
     The family was predictably excited. Mac was unbelievably afraid. Mac has never done anything like this in his life. Mac is a goody-two-shoes. Mac represents idiots that do stupid stuff like this all
the time. Mac wanted to get the hell out of Dodge!  
     After a few minutes at the volcano's edge, the group began the trek back down that same dark paved roadway. Mac and Patt (with two t's) walked a little bit ahead of the rest… mainly because
Mac wanted to get to the other side of that closed gate as soon as he could. Mac pointed out the
idiocy of what had just happened to his son and then advised Patt (with two t's)… You know, should 
the police or the Park Rangers come at us right now, I would not be surprised if JoLee made a run for it and it were only Tracie, Moses and Mom standing there holding the bag! 
     Can you imagine that conversation…
     Sir, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night? 
     My family and I were here to, um, well, er to see your volcano. She's a beauty!
     What makes you think that you can wander on out here under the cover of darkness and walk right past two gates and a cable fence and mosey on up to the edge of the volcano?
     Well, JoLee said we could.  Says she does it all the time.
     Is one of these woman JoLee?
     Well, no… they would be my lovely wife and daughter. Carol, Tracie… wave to the nice officer.
     Where is this JoLee woman?  
     Not sure, but she was just here.
     What is her last name?
     I dunno. 
     What does she look like?
     Kind of hard to tell. When she took us on the dolphin swim she had a baseball cap pulled way down over her face and spent a lot of time looking down at her cell phone and then she had a mask 
over her face tonight.
     A mask? 
     Well she said that the volcano puts out a lot of gasses and fumes and that we should cover our 
faces. I didn't really notice it but my wife did. Didn't you honey? 
     Why the cap over her face the other day?  
     The sun, I guess… although we were out there at 6:30 in the morning. It was kind of hot though so 
I am still thinking it was the sun. Yeah, definitely the sun.   
     How did you meet this woman?
     In the ocean!  You met her in the ocean?
     Well I did not meet her exactly... but I met her connection. Some Hispanic dude. He hooked us up! 
     What was his name?
     No idea! But nice fella though. Lives somewhere in California. Maybe if we find him, we can learn JoeLee's  last name.   

     Now, if Mac were to be completely honest, he would say that on a vacation that was full of beauty and wonder… that brought a new adventure every single day… where every day was better than the last… this was one of the coolest things that he had ever seen. But Mac was conflicted. He had failed miserably as a parent by allowing this to happen. He should have just said no, we are not doing this.
     Would have been the right thing to do!
     On the other hand… it was the coolest thing that any of them had ever seen. Once in a lifetime opportunity. I mean, how many active volcanos are there in the world and when are you going to have the opportunity to walk right up to o me and just about spit in it?
     The answer is never.
     Surprisingly, Carol justified it by pointing out that if they hadn't wanted the family out there,they would have put up better gates and a couple of those high electrified Jurrasic Park fences. She had a point… all of them were really easy to get around. I mean, they had to be easy if  these folks could just walk right around them,  right?
     Well the only thing that could have made the situation worse is if they took pictures and posted them all over Facebook. I mean that would be stupid wouldn't it?
     Oh, dear Lord, please tell me that those pictures didn't go all over Facebook!
     Poor Mac!