Funny Guy Friday... Musings from my hubby... Date Night

     I have often said that... heaven forbid, something should happen to my lovely wife... I would never get re-married. There are two main reasons for this... one is that my life would be dedicated to my kids, with no time for anybody else... and the other is that I don't think I could ever feel the same way about anybody else like I do about Cheryl.
     Among the many secondary reasons is the fact that, at my age, I cannot see myself back on the dating scene. This was driven home last Saturday evening, when Cheryl and I went on a date.
     To begin, I think that my skills have eroded over time. This date did not start with my wooing my lovely bride, or my planning some romantic dinner. Instead, we were laying on the couch, and I decided that I was not going to go to a 12-year-old baseball game that a friend of mine was coaching. My asking her out went something like this... I am not going to the game... Do you want to go get something to eat? BUT you are not getting all duded up and you are not changing... we are going right now! How could she resist?
     We went to downtown Annapolis, and the first restaurant had a table ready. Great... this is going to be easy, I thought. Unfortunately, the table was wedged between a couple of teenagers texting and listening to their ipods, and a family with young kids. I get this kind of action at home.
     I did not really mind the coziness, but in an obvious sign of age (not the last time in the evening that my age would be a factor), I actually said that the restaurant was just too darn loud. We decided, instead, to get a drink at the bar.
     After ordering a couple of beers, we then took nearly an entire half hour debating who the bartender looked like. By the way, I pegged it right away... he looked exactly like Ron Howard's brother... the guy who plays in all of Ron Howard's movies. I can't see any other woman being impressed with this kind of depth and knowledge.
    Our next stop was where all the action was. We went to another restaurant that was a bit quieter, and we got a booth away from the bar.
     You know that your wife loves you when she asks if you would like a certain side of the booth so you have a better view of the Orioles game on the TV. Cheryl pointed out that there appeared to be a disproportionate number of women... two of whom kissed... and that the bartenders were all very pretty young ladies. Hmm, what was going on here?
     Anyway, there were some guys sitting at a table across from us, when two scantily clad women/girls approached their table. When I say scantily clad, I mean they had on outfits of which I had not seen the likes since I was on my honeymoon in St. Barth's... and I am not talking about my new bride's outfits, but those of the women who were topless on the beaches. Suffice to say, their dresses were very low cut at the top, and very high cut at the bottom.
     The funny thing about it was that my reaction was not, Gee, how sexy, but instead, Gee, how ridiculous. Remember that age thing that I referred to earlier! At one point, I actually asked the girls if they could move so I could see the TV better. Cheryl said she thought they were selling something... I AGREED.
     It turns out that they were selling something, but not what I had thought. They were selling tee shirts for a new Vodka that the bar was promoting. They spent a lot of time working the young men, but eventually... and this should come as no surprise... they made the sale. Cheryl actually said, If their mothers only knew. Do you know how old someone sounds when they say something like that?
     We had a very nice waitress. At the end of the meal, I left a very generous tip for her, in part, because she was one of the few in the place that was dressed somewhat modestly. Do you know how old someone sounds when they write that they left a generous tip because their waitress dressed modestly?
     Eventually, one of the young salesgirls made her way to our table. I bought six shirts... just kidding. She was very pleasant, but we politely told her no thank you, and as we left the restaurant, Cheryl asked if I had gotten a look at her face? Again... you know you have a great wife when she laughs at this response... You mean that naked girl had a face?
     On the way back to the car, we ducked into a shop and tried to find a shirt for our daughter, and then stopped to buy the kids ice cream. Not your typical ending to a romantic evening but this is who we are.
     Cheryl bought a few different pint-size flavors, and came up with a game based on a Chinese gift exchange... where one child blindly selects their pint, and the next child has the option to select a new pint or steal the one already selected. The kids loved it.
     As I think about the events of the evening, a few things were confirmed... besides the fact that I am getting old. Our night out further exemplified the reasons that I could never be married to another woman. I already married the greatest wife/mother in the world... and that marriage has blessed us with three kids that I love more than anything else in this world.
    Actually... I must say... it turned out to be a pretty good date.