Funny Guy Friday... Musings from my picky husband... A simple change of clothes...

     Yesterday, I took off work early to meet Cheryl and the kids, and Cheryl's three sisters and their kids, for lunch and a movie. The easy laugh might be to say something like, Gee, work never looked so good, but we had a great time, so I won't unnecessarily offend my wife's family... just my wife.
     Since I was leaving work early, I called Cheryl and asked her to bring me some shorts and a shirt, so I could change out of my suit when I met them. This seems like a simple request, but in the past, she has at times failed to get it right.
     In past similar situations, not only has she brought clothes that I never wear, but several equally bad options. Whenever I have asked, Why would you bring these clothes?, she has responded with, Well... I never see you wear those shirts.
     There is a reason for that... I hate those shirts.
     So on this day, I decided that I would be very specific. Please bring me my khaki cargo shorts, my white or blueish/purple (yes, I actually said blueish/purple) golf shirt and either my brown belt with brown flip flops, or my black belt with black flip flops.
     This whole exchange was very amusing to my secretary. I felt I should explain to her that I have about twelve suits, twenty dress shirts, and about fifty ties... but when I am not at work, I have about three pair of shorts, and about five shirts that I wear.
     Now... I do own more than five shirts and three pair of shorts, but generally I have a set starting rotation. Once an article of clothing gets into the starting rotation, only one of two events can knock it out. It can get a noticeable stain... I hate stains, so any stain will ensure a spot in the minors, or as I call it... the grass cutting league. Or it can succumb to wear and tear.
     Mind you, since I will run my starters out until they become rags, wear and tear has rarely knocked out any of my starters... It is usually my kids' blood, my kids' greasy hands, mustard from the kids' hot dogs... you get the picture. My kids are like a torn rotator cuff to my shirts... and are the only things that can bring them down.  
     Now, with very specific instructions from the Manager to the Bullpen Coach, what could go wrong?
     I walked into the restaurant, but the clothes were still in the car. No problem. I went to go change in the parking lot. Is that a normal thing to do... or would most people schlep the clothes back into the restaurant and change in the bathroom? I digress.
     As I opened the car door... there were the khaki shorts... not the ones I wanted, but acceptable... Two belts, two pair of flip flops... Too much... One red golf shirt, and a burgundy shirt... WRONG WRONG WRONG. I have not worn that red golf shirt in more than three years, and I have worn the burgundy shirt only once, in an emergency Church situation.
     How could this happen? How did my very specific request for starting clothing result in too many players and two scrub shirts. It may not seem like a big deal that Cheryl brought two belts and two pair of flip flops, but I know what is going to happen. When I go to look for the unchosen belt or flip flops, I won't be able to find them because they will be in my wife's car... and they will stay in my wife's car until I clean it out in three months. By that time, flip flop season will be over, and the flip flops will get tossed into a closet... effectively disabled for the entire season.
     As for the shirts, how does white or blueish/purple get turned into red or burgundy? I called for a starter, and I got a career minor leaguer, and a shirt that got called up as a late season replacement because all of my starters were in the wash. This was a potential clothing disaster.
     However, I made a change on the fly. I changed into my shorts, but decided to stay with the blue shirt that I wore to work that day. Disaster averted.  
     This is what a great manager does... he adjusts to the game, and puts his best players in the best positions to succeed. Maybe it is time to trade some of my players to a team that will use them more often. Nah!.. You can never have enough good pitching... er... I mean... shirts.