Funny Guy Friday... The Twelve Days of Christmas...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
     The Christmas season comes and goes so quickly.
     In fact, this year, we started the season a bit late due to Grace's first semester of college. We did not get our usual start on the Friday after Thanksgiving but had to wait until the semester ended and Grace returned home. This crammed all of the hustle and bustle into a few short weeks.
     With that being said, I came up with a great idea to spread the holiday beyond Christmas Day and go for an extra twelve days. Why twelve days, you ask? Because historically, Christmas started on Christmas Eve and included twelve days of celebration, culminating on the eve of Epiphany... or Twelfth Night as it was called.
     Ah... the twelve days of Christmas. Drummers drumming and all that jazz.
     So here is the plan that I devised: take the twelve days after Christmas and do something special on each day. For instance, I looked on the internet and found a beautiful light show on 34th Street in Baltimore. So on one night, we took the kids to see the lights and then to Little Italy for some dessert.
     On another night, I invited Cheryl's family out for a movie and on a separate night, had them over for a delicious homemade dinner.
     We spent time with friends, we went out for ice cream, and we played games, games and more games.
     We even instituted new Christmas traditions like the King's Cake and the Wishing Tree. Both traditions that date back to our forefathers. Noah and I learned all about that... when we toured the Bowie Mansion.
     We did something new almost every night... but the best part of the twelve days was having our three kids together. There is no better sound than hearing the three of them laughing and enjoying each other's company. I have missed that since Grace has gone off to college.
     The only bad part of the whole Christmas season was that Matthew kept complaining of being
tired and not feeling well. In fact, he was going to stay home when we went to see Santa at Annapolis Mall. The real Santa, by the way. He is not a "Santa's helper" like the ones you may see in other malls or shops. If you want irrefutable evidence that this Santa is the real McCoy, I will advise you that he has been there every year since Grace was a baby... he never ages... he calls my kids by name... and he comes through every year and gets the kids the gifts that they ask for.
     If he ain't Santa, then I am the Easter Bunny!
     Anyway... Cheryl had to shame Matthew out of bed and into Santa's lap. Poor kid had a 101 fever.  I wanted him to stay home and rest, but Cheryl was very persistent. In fact, you could even say that she was mean and nasty in her texts and her messages. Even called him a faker. Very un-Cheryl-like.  She would not let the poor kid alone. He only went to prevent her from giving him a hard time.
     We had a great two weeks. No hustle, no bustle, no shopping. Just time together as a family! I loved it, and we will institute these Twelve Days of Christmas every year.
     Okay, okay... full disclosure...
     I had no idea about the Twelve Days of Christmas until Cheryl told me. She wrote every word after historically in the second paragraph. I never understood the song. I always thought that some Christian kid got jealous over some Jewish kid having eight days of Hanukkah and made up a song and added four more days to that Jewish kid's eight.
     Cheryl did it all.
     She looked up the lights on 34th Street. She invited everybody out for movies and dinners. She decided we should play games and go out for ice cream.
     I didn't do any of it.    
     Well, I did shame Matthew into seeing Santa. Very yes-Mark-like! I knew he was faking! If he were really sick, he would have stayed home.
     Oh, and I didn't take Noah to the Mansion... Cheryl did. I went to Sports Authority!
     I stink and Cheryl is the greatest.  I am stupid and she is smart.  There, I said it!
     I just glob onto her ideas and try to take all the credit.
     It is not fair. She thinks about stuff and always comes up with great ideas. And despite the fact that  some of her ideas meet with initial resistance from the kids... okay, from me... they always work out great.
     The idea of celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas was one of Cheryl's best ideas ever. It really did spread the Christmas season over a longer period of time and avoided all of the typical pressures that accompany the preceding weeks.
     I loved it! I found myself longing for Christmases like those celebrated in the Colonial days.
     Let me tell you how it used to be. Back in the day, there was no Santa, no Christmas tree, and no gift exchanges... except for maybe a small token on Christmas morning. The Twelve Days following  Christmas were highlighted by parties with a grand celebration for Epiphany. They would dance and drink punch that always included the same five ingredients... fruit, spice, sugar, liquor and more liquor. They made the King's cake with a special bean in the cake. Whoever got the bean, was King for the night. They pulled wishes off of the Wishing Tree and enjoyed jellies made from boiled pig's feet.
     It sounds awesome. Well... maybe not the pig's feet part.
     I bet you didn't know all of that.
     See? I can be smart too. And guess what...
     I learned all of this stuff on my trip to the Sport's Authority!

PS... It turns out that Matthew wasn't faking as I had suspected... he had walking pneumonia. I only bring this up to advise Santa and all of our friends and family that visited with our family during the Twelve Days of Christmas to keep an eye on your children. If you see any signs of illness with your kids, please feel free to call Cheryl! She's the smart one! She can help you!