Funny Guy Friday... Of cell phones and chance encounters...

     Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy.
     This past Tuesday, Cheryl's cousin from Massachusetts was in town, so we headed over to my in-laws for dinner.
     My mother accompanied us.
     The topic of how everyone had met their spouses came up, and I sat and listened to one couple after another recount the stories of their meeting.
     Cheryl's parents met by chance in a little nightclub, when Cheryl's dad was stationed in the seaside town Cheryl's mom lived in, and she had gone out dancing one night with her sister.
     Cheryl's cousin and her husband met on a ski trip.
     Cheryl's sister and her husband met at work.
     Finally, my mom told a story that I had only just recently heard the details of for the first time. And get this... I had heard those details from my wife, not my mother.
     I knew that my mom and dad met on a bus on its way to D.C. from my mom's home state of Pennsylvania, but I had never heard the full story. You would think that I would have known all the details, but I did not.
     I blame my lack of knowledge on two factors. First, I am the youngest of six kids and everyone probably had just assumed that I knew the story. And second, I am a guy... and details don't matter to guys. They met... they got married... they had kids (of which I was one)... and they lived happily ever after. Now, will you please pass the mashed potatoes?
     Well, the details of their meeting are kind of cool.
     After visiting her hometown one weekend, my mother and two of her friends needed to get back to D.C. where they worked. They arrived at the bus station for the last ride out that Monday morning, and when they tried to get tickets, they were informed that there were no seats available.
     They begged and they pleaded for the driver to let them on, but he would not. They were desperate because there was no other way to get back to work on time!
     It just so happens that my father and his best friend were sitting in the last row of that bus and overheard the girls' plight. My dad called out to the driver, assuring him that they would make room for the girls and to please let them on.
     My dad was quite the gentleman... and I am sure that it did not hurt that my mother was quite the looker. In any event... they met, got married, had kids... and they lived happily ever after.
     Pretty simple really!
     As my mom told the story, I sat and wondered what would happen if that same situation were to occur today. Would a young man offer to make room for a pretty young lady if he were confronted with same exact situation in today's world? Would he even take notice of the predicament that the girls found themselves in?
     I bring this up because this past week, I have been off work. It has been great being able to spend time with my family. But since I have been around a lot more than usual, I have noticed a disturbing trend. My kids live in a world of immediate information and instant gratification. No matter where we are... no matter what we are doing... they have their cell phones with them every second. Unless, of course, I make them give me their phones. This is torture to them. I swear that they would rather be water-boarded than go a day without their phones.
     They give and receive instant information from a variety of unnecessary sources... each of which is apparently vitally important to their very existence. Funny, because they rarely answer my calls. I get the occasional call back... but it is rare that they ever answer my first call!
     And from talking to other parents and watching other kids with their "mobile devices" (I hate that term... why can't they just call them phones?) my kids aren't as bad as most!
     As a result of their noses in their phones at all times, they miss what is going on around them. Hey, look, there is a Leprechaun stealing a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! 
     What... I am sorry, Dad. My friend is having a steak and cheese and she just texted me a picture of her sub because they used Swiss instead of Provolone. Isn't that unbelievable? Did you say something? 
    My kids get pictures, memes, snapchats, texts, emails, and tweets all day long... mostly with completely unnecessary information. By the way, it's not just the kids. Look, I am happy my buddy got a new couch, but I don't care to hear about it the second it was purchased. I will see it when he invites me over to his home. No offense, but I don't care!
     And speaking of snapchat... My kids will giggle at inappropriate times because of some message on their phone, and when I ask to see it, I get this response: Uh, it's a snapchat, Dad... you can only see it for a second and then it is gone. Sorry.
     Who communicates like that? It is stupid!
     The other day, the phone at our house rang, and all three of my kids were within ten feet of the phone. Not one of them even looked up. I don't get it! I'm beginning to think they are losing their ability to understand what the "ringing telephone" means.
     Times, they are a'changing, that's for sure.
     A few years ago, I went to buy a phone and the salesman asked what features I wanted. I would like a phone that makes calls and takes calls! 
     He was dumbfounded: Sir, we don't have that! They all do something else.
     So, now that I have my super-mega-iPhone-5G3-mobile-device complete with sixteen gigabytes of memory, capable of taking quality photos, texting, emailing, snapchatting, facebooking, and tweeting, I find myself falling into the same stupid trap as my kids. Time and again, I have this burning desire to reach for my phone in the middle of my wife's stories. I don't even know how to do half of the stuff that my phone can do, but I still reach for the darn thing right in the middle of her sentence. I used to just nod and periodically say yeah, and all was good. Now, she can't help but see that I am blatantly ignoring her. And, believe it or not, this upsets her for some reason.
     Just another example of how cell phones are ruining our lives!
     And don't even get me started on "the selfie." I will admit to participating in a group selfie from time to time, but I am proud to say that I have never taken a picture of myself... alone ... with duck lips or otherwise. Apparently, duck lips are required in most selfies.
     Look around when you are in a crowd and check out the number of people looking at their phones. Do you really think that a young man would hear the damsel in distress and volunteer to help? I don't think so.
     Just think of the ramifications if my father had had a cell phone some sixty years ago. My parents might never have met. Never have gotten married. Never have had kids. And would have lived happily never after.
     And your Fridays just might never have been the same.