Funny Guy Friday... The Lunch Date...

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    I feel bad.  I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I never thought I would be "that guy."
    Fortunately, I am always honest so I immediately confessed my transgression to Cheryl. I certainly would not ever want to hurt her, but I have discovered that some things are just out of my control...  some things are just bigger than... well, bigger than my relationship with my wife.
    There I said it!
    What did I do that is causing me so much angst... I went on a lunch date with someone other than my wife. And the worse part was that I had a great time.
    To be fair, I did not intend to go on this date. I did not even initiate the date. I didn't even want to go on the date. But I did... and now I fear that there is no turning back.
    It all started about three months ago when we hired two young gals to work as associates in our office. Both Karen and Stephanie are smart, pretty young attorneys that had clerked for two of our county's circuit court judges. I had interacted with them on several occasions before hiring them but never really had the opportunity to spend any significant time with them. One thing I can say for sure is that everyone that meets them, loves them. We are lucky to have them, and we are sure that they will be a great addition to our office.
    Part of their training includes having to follow me around and help me with my cases. They have gotten to see how I maneuver my way through the legal field, and I don't want to brag or anything but... I can be quite impressive.
     Not really. I am pretty ordinary, but they are new and don't know any better!
    As you might guess, over the past months, having spent so much time with both of them, we have gotten to know each other pretty well. We seem to be getting along and working together quite succesfully.
    Typically, after handling our morning cases, we go our separate ways for lunch, but this last Wednesday, as they were heading out to grab a bite, they asked if I would like to join them.
    Honestly, I really did not want to go, but they had asked... and we had been working pretty hard over the past few months. I thought it would be a good gesture to join them. It also thought it might be a good opportunity, outside of the office, for them to ask me any questions that they have been contemplating or voice any concerns that they may be facing.
    Before we left, I had to meet a client, so I told them to go on ahead and I would join them as soon as I finished.
    When I finally entered the restaurant, I was a bit surprised to find a third person sitting at the table. A person that I had never met. Had they not seen me, I would have turned around and walked out... but it was too late. Now I felt like I was kind of intruding.
    This third person was similar to the two associates... young, attractive, and seemed pretty smart. I said hello and complimented his outfit.
     That's right, I said his outfit. "She" was a guy and it was pretty clear that he was interested in one of the girls. It then dawned on me that I was the fourth wheel in this luncheon. Typically, this would be called a double date with four people, but in this case, I was just a fourth wheel... an old worn out fourth wheel.
     Over the next forty five minutes, I had to figure out what in the world was I going to talk about with these three people who were young enough to be my children... and two of the three were on a real live lunch date.
     I don't remember the new kid's name... I think it was Carl... but I do remember that he was wearing his Redskin hat backwards (a sure sign of youth) and a Redskin shirt.
     Nice outfit! I actually said outfit because that is what my wife would say. I have now become the old guy that starts to sound like his wife. No single guy would ever refer to another guy's get-up as an outfit. I regretted my choice of words. I should have led with... Wasssup brah? but I didn't.
     Huh, oh yeah. You a fan?
     Yeah, but it keeps getting tougher and tougher to hang in there with them. 
     Gotta hang in there. 
     Thanks for the sage advise whippersnapper. Let me tell you something... I suffered through more losses in my day than you can possibly imagine, so don't lecture me on the proper fan etiquette. Keep your little advice to yourself.
      I didn't say all that... But I was thinking it!
      I was going to tell him how great it used to be back in the day when they were winning Super Bowls, but I quickly changed course when I realized that reminiscing about the "good old days" was the last thing that I wanted to do at this point. This joker probably wasn't even alive when the Redskins won their last Super Bowl.
      So what do you do? I politely asked... trying to make some small talk.
      I am a firefighter.
      Wow, that seems pretty cool. I could see my son doing that someday. Out of curiosity, did you take any special classes or do any special training to become a firefighter?  
      Well, not really... I played baseball in college.
      Wait... What? Where did you go to college? 
      It turns out, he went to the same college as a couple of kids that I had coached. And it turns out that not only did he know them, he roomed with one of them. They are the best of friends. And it turns out, that he was home-schooled and played high school baseball for a long-time friend of our family. And it turns out that through his firefighting and baseball, he was familiar with many of the same people that I knew, including my brother and nephews. And get this... the more we talked, the more we had in common. It turns out that when he was 12 years old, he played for a team that I coached against.
     What a small world!
     It turned out that he and I talked throughout the entire lunch. Ol' Karen and whatshername  could not get a word in edgewise. Apparently, they did not have as much in common with Carl as I.
     The four of us spent an entire lunch together... at least I think that Karen and Stephanie stuck around... and I saw no evidence of any connection between Stephanie and Carl.
     Frankly, I am ashamed to admit, I sat and monopolized all of his time. I did not think of Stephanie or Karen one bit.
     Here is what I do know... Carl and I had a great time.
     When we finally got back to the office, I inquired as to what was Carl's deal. It turns out that he may have been a teensy bit interested in Stephanie and arranged for that lunch date. Whatever!
     I apologized for hogging him, but I've got to be honest... he never even glanced her way the whole time we were talking.
     After my sincere apology, I did try to clear one thing up... I asked Stephanie if she were not interested, would she mind if I went out to lunch with him again.
     She laughed... Of course, I was just kidding!
     In fact, I apologized again today and Stephanie said no problem. She told me that he thought that I was pretty cool.
     Wait, did you ask him... or did he just out of the blue just say that I was cool. And did he say pretty cool or really cool?
     She laughed... Of course, I was just kidding!
     I am a happily married man and have plenty of friends. And if all that goes up in smoke...
I can always look back and fondly recall... The Lunch Date!