Funny Guy Friday... Roll Tide...

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    About five years ago, my friend, Billy, invited me to join him in Alabama for a University of Alabama football game. Billy's father graduated from Alabama and his family has had season tickets for several years. He goes to three or four games every year and is very generous in sharing any extra tickets.
     My first trip was four years ago and I am here to report that it is unlike any other sporting event that I have ever attended. I am a graduate of the University of Maryland and have attended many Terrapin football games. In recent years, while Maryland has had little competition when it comes to the "battle of the uniform," they have struggled on the field. But even when they were playing in... and often times winning big games... the Maryland experience was much different.
     Not to be mean to my Alma Mater but a one-word description of Maryland games when compared to Alabama games is J.V.
     At least I think J. V. is one word. On second thought maybe it is two words... Junior Varsity.   
     After my first visit, I thought that if I ever had the opportunity, I would take my two boys. Fortunately, this year, Billy had three extra tickets. In fact, he got his hands on five extra tickets so I asked my nephew if he wanted to take his wife, Jess, who is a big 'Bama fan. Although my nephew elected to stay home, Jess happily accepted the offer and invited her father to join us.
     So this year, six of us boarded a plane on Friday morning and set off for a football weekend.
     Once we landed, we headed straight for the campus. We hit a few stores to purchase our game day gear. Matthew and I had made the trip before so we have our swag... my sweatshirt has a big "A" on the front. Everyone in Alabama knows this distinctive "A" but just about everyone else in the country thinks that I am a big fan of Alvin and the Chipmunks.
     Matthew purchased a new Crimson Tide shirt to go along with his previously purchased sweat shirt along with a baseball cap. Noah went in a different direction. Noah selected a houndstooth hat. Houndstooth is Tuscaloosa's favorite color. Their legendary coach, Paul "Bear" Bryant wore a similar hat while he patrolled the sidelines. Noah correctly pointed out that the hat was actually checkered... please don't tell the folks in Alabama.
     If you're not sure if Bear Bryant is a legend, you can go past Bear Bryant High School and get to the campus. Once there, you can make a right on Bear Bryant Way, a left on Bear Bryant Lane, take another right on Bear Bryant Boulevard and then park outside of the Paul Bear Bryant Museum. The woman in the houndstooth skirt will fill you in!  
     After shopping, we made our way to the Walk of Champions. This is the walkway that the team crosses before every game. Every National Championship team member has their name engraved in the walkway. Great names like Joe Namath, Dwight Stevenson, Lee Roy Jordan and Young Boozer. Actually, I never heard of Young Boozer but his name was in the walkway and I think it is a great name for a college kid!
    Then we made our way over to The Walk of Fame at Denny Chimes. Every Alabama captain since 1947 has had their hand and foot prints placed in cement. More great names like Ozzie Newsome, Cornelius Bennett, Derrick Thomas and Drunk Guard.
     I have to admit, I made up that last name just to see if you are paying attention.
    After visiting Denny Chimes, we searched for our tailgate tent. There are hundreds, if not thousands of tents set up for the next day's game. Wherever there is a blade of grass, you will find a tent. The University provides electricity for each tent so most tents have a flat screen set up for viewing other SEC football games or if you are not one of the 101,000 fans lucky enough to have a ticket to the game, you can watch it on campus.
    Once we found our tent, we decided to get ribs at Dreamland. If you think that Dreamland is the perfect name for a nice restaurant that provides a world famous dining experience... you would be wrong. It is a world-famous dining experience but the place is a dump. A dump located right across from a run-down trailer park.
     When we sat down, Jess asked about the menus. I pointed to the chalk board and told her... there is your menu... do you want a half slab or a whole slab and do you want a piece of sausage?  I will say, they have added sides since I was last here. 
     Those are the only two dishes sold at Dreamland. They do have appetizers, if you count white bread as an appetizer. The locals rave about the white bread. To me, it tasted just like any other white bread... until you dunked it in the delicious sauce. They could serve sponges as an appetizer as long as they serve them with that sauce.
     The food is unbelievable. If you only serve two things, it had better be delicious... and it is.
     The dessert menu has only one item... banana pudding. It does not disappoint. I am not exaggerating when I say, from the time that they placed our paper plates in front of us, to the time we paid our bill, about twenty five minutes elapsed.
     Dreamland does not disappoint.
     Now, at this point we were stuffed and we were tired so we should have headed back to the hotel. But this trip was different... this trip included Jess. Jess is a lot like Cheryl. She always has a smile on her face. She is always upbeat. She always finds something positive about even the worst circumstance. Yep, she can be just as annoying as Cheryl.
     At one point, I told Matthew that Jess reminded me of his mother, except she has a lot more energy than your mother. 
     So after stuffing our faces in preparation for our nap, a nap that I am 100% sure that my lovely wife would have been all in favor of, Jess suggested that we go bowling. We have to do something!  
     Sleeping is something! Isn't it?
     Oh yeah, one difference between Cheryl and Jess that I forgot to mention... Jess is a lot more competitive than Cheryl. Behind that perpetual smile lies the heart of a killer! Our day ended after two hard fought games. Luckily, I was on her team!
     Saturday's game started at 6:00 p.m. Which meant that we had to get to the campus by 11:00 a.m. That's right... seven hours before kick off. And get this... we were late! The tailgate parties start early and they run all day long. By the time the game started, we were exhausted. Noah nearly fell asleep in the first half. If I had not sprung for the chips and queso, we would have lost him.
     In some ways, the game is anti-climatic. The events leading up to the games are exhausting.
     Billy takes great pleasure in setting up the weekend's events and then being a personal tour guide. He enjoys that others have a great time.
     Alabama won big over Arkansas. We had a blast. We made it home safe and sound.
     Roll Tide!