November

Matthew 13.
Hindsight is 2020.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Funny Guy Friday... The ol' gray gal...

    My lovely wife has made the decision to stop dying her hair and let nature take it's course.
    She feels that this will free her from expensive dye jobs and constant upkeep. More than that though, she just wants to be who she is... just be herself.
    I have heard of men going through a mid-life crisis and doing whatever they can do to recapture their youth, but I have no explanation for a woman assisting nature with speeding up the aging process.
    Cheryl sees herself as a trendsetter, and I must admit, I have heard several women wish her well... as if she were getting ready to embark on a battle with some life changing illness or something.
    Personally, I am delighted by her decision because it makes me look much younger than she. People think she is a cougar going after a man nearly half her age. They all say... Man, her husband looks good, and she is lucky to get a man that is half her age.
    They haven't actually said that stuff, but I am pretty sure that they are all thinking it!
    The other day, I called Cheryl from work and she told me that her sister had just left our home. Cheryl mentioned that said sister had just gone the beauty parlor and had had her hair done with highlights and a series of other "tune ups" which made her look very pretty and young as ever, Cheryl joked, knowing that I tease her about her growout.
    She looks 'young as ever'? She just wants to look good for her man.
    Oh sure, by keeping herself looking young. Good thing I don't have to worry about that. Wink.
    Well, you may be singing a different tune when I take off with some twenty-four-year-old hottie.
    You think so? Are you still taking the boys to Alabama this weekend for the big football game? ... an obvious attempt to change the topic from the uncomfortable thought of losing me to a younger woman.
    Yeah, we leave Friday, why are you asking me that? You know we are going.
    When are you coming home?
    Sunday morning. Why all the focus on my schedule? 
    Because I want to be sure that I would have enough time to pack up all of your and your mom's stuff and put it out on the curb! You know... if I had to.
    Wait... wait... why would you pack up my poor ol' mother and boot her out of the house? That hardly seems fair to her.
    Well, I thought that your twenty-four-year-old would love the opportunity to take care of you... and your mom.  Plus you'd need your mom along to do your laundry.
     Noah reported that Cheryl smiled and winked at him when she said all of this, but I am not sure. I think that she thinks that my leaving her for an imaginary twenty-four-year-old would not work out very well for me. This, of course, got me to thinking about some of the other stuff that my imaginary twenty-four-year-old might not do that Cheryl does.
     Here is a short list:
     She wouldn't iron my shirts every morning. Cheryl, and all of her gray hair, gets up every morning and irons a shirt for me. Cheryl is very nice!
     She wouldn't be able to help Matthew with his Algebra II/Trig and Chemistry homework. Remember, my young girlfriend is a hottie and I did not fall for her for her mind. To be fair, I can't help Matthew with his homework and I am amazed that Cheryl can. She looks at Matthew's books and learns the material well enough to teach it. I am not sure that she ever took those subjects in high school or college. The old gray gal is very smart!
     The fake girl wouldn't homeschool Noah. Same reason as why she can't help Matthew. In fact, my girl can't add or subtract which is good because I am going to keep telling her that I am only ten years her elder.
     She wouldn't be able to give my daughter any insight on any problems that she may be having. Cheryl is pretty wise about girlie stuff and always gives great advice. You know, when you think about it, my fake girlfriend is only five years older than my daughter. OOOH! That is gross!
     Alright, I have changed my mind, I am staying with Cheryl.
     Besides, I really do love the gray.
     But this is nothing new. Do you remember the movie the Ten Commandments when Moses left Egypt and in doing so also left beautiful dark haired Nefretiri? Moses ended up marrying the shepherd's eldest daughter with her salt and pepper grayish hair... which she probably put up in a bun with a number 2 pencil... much like some other gray-haired girl that we all know and love.
     Anyway, I always thought that the shepherd's daughter was way prettier than Nefretiri. I would have chosen her every time.
     The fact is, I will love Cheryl no matter what she does with her hair. I am content to grow old... but  not at the same pace as Cheryl... with my cougar wife.
     Did you know that the woman who played Moses' wife was Yvonne DeCarlo. Did you know that Yvonne DeCarlo also starred as Lily Munster in the TV show The Munsters. 
     Can you imagine what people will think if Cheryl ends up looking like Lily Munster. I will tell you what they will think... Man her husband looks good and she is lucky to get a man half her age. 
     This gray hair thing is working out well for both of us.
Sephora, The Ten Commandments

Lily Munster

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