Funny Guy Friday... Wait, it's an election year? You don't say...

    Funny Guy Friday is written each week by my husband Mark. So, I married a funny guy...
    In 1980, I turned eighteen and had my first opportunity to vote in a Presidential election. My choice was an easy one... Ronald Reagan ran against Jimmy Carter. I have to admit, I don't recall the primary process running for months and months. And if I recall it correctly (which I do because I just looked it up on Wickipedia), Reagan and Carter only had only one debate sponsored by the League of Women Voters.
    It was at this debate that Reagan gave his now famous line Well, there you go again!... and Carter infamously stated that he had consulted with his then twelve-year-old daughter, Amy, about the biggest issue facing our country and she had responded that it was the control of nuclear arms.
    In retrospect, she should have mentioned the economy or the hostages in Iran. Actually, in retrospect, the Democrats should have nominated Amy!
     Reagan was the best... there I said it.
     Voted for him twice and would have voted for him a third time if I could have. He was unapologetic in his positions. He was articulate. He was funny. He was smart. And unlike Donald Trump, he mainly attacked Democrats, and he did so in a fairly non-offensive funny way. For example... A recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job and a recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his! 
    It was an election that pitted optimism against pessimism.  The results were kind of predictable.
    Anyway, I bring all this up because I am completely fed up with Presidential politics. The first primary is still three months away and we have been hearing from these folks every day for the past year. Twelve months of hearing how this candidate is going to lower taxes, create jobs, save the economy, improve our education, defeat ISIS and give us everything we want at no cost to anybody... except the rich guys.
    On a side note... has it occurred to anyone that the rich guys are rich for a reason. That they may figure out ways to avoid paying for everybody else's stuff or that if there were no personal incentive (wealth) associated with their rich guy idea, they might just decide to take a pass on the great idea and wait for someone else to come up with the idea... and then take that guy's money!
    I digress.
    I am sick of the coverage. I am sick of the commercials. I am sick of the speeches. And most of all. I am sick of the debates.
    I have a proposal... combine the Republican debates with the Democratic debates. Put everyone up on the stage and make it a battle royal. I know what you are thinking... this can only work if we have a truly neutral debate moderator. If you don't know what I am talking about, then you haven't been paying attention.
    For those of you that haven't been watching... or listening to talk radio... let me try to explain through some of my sort of made up questions...
    Senator Rubio... I have looked at your tax plan and for this question, I have made up facts about your plan and I will misquote some conservative tax foundation that commented on your plan. Based on my made up facts and the misquoted comments of the tax foundation... your plan gives nearly twice as much of a gain in after-tax income to the top 1% as to people in the middle income scale. Don't you have it backward? 
    Turning to Senator Bernie Sanders... according to your plan, you figured that the top 1% will pay for all of our health care, all of our college education as well as all of our children's day care... was the math hard? It had to be hard, didn't it? Wow, are all socialists as smart as you? 
    Speaking of math, Ben Carson... I have had unnamed sources look at your plan and I have to ask... can you add and subtract...  quick what is the square root of 78,996,544? You don't know... then why should we trust you with our economy. 
    Governor Kasich... say something bad about two other Republicans. To be fair, we will waive any time periods for your answer... GO!
    Governor O'Malley... are you still here? Sing us a song. 
    Donald Trump... Are you a comic book version of a candidate? By the way... this one was not made up in any way. 
    President Clinton... ooh, did I say President Clinton, I meant Secretary Clinton... my bad. You testified before the Benghazi Committee and there were several revelations during your testimony but one thing still remains unanswered... Boxers or Briefs?  And I ask that because you are the only woman on the stage and will be, er uh, could be this country's first female President and this is an important issue for many women. What's that? Carline Fiorina is a woman?
    Ms. Fiorina, you were fired by a bunch of men at Hewlitt Packard... why would you let all the women of the United States down by being such a disappointment? 
    Senator Cruz... no sir, you just be quiet... I'll do the accusing here, thank you! 
    Finally, I would like to allow for all of the candidates to make a closing argument. Republicans, please address your greatest weakness and let the voters know why that weakness would disqualify you as President of the United States... and Democrats, please don't say anything to hurt Hillary's chances. 
     Man... I wish I could vote for Ronald Reagan again!