Funny Guy Friday... Arlington Echo...

     I just got back from a two day field trip with Matthew at a camp called Arlington Echo... an overnight camp that teaches the kids about conservation, recycling, protecting the Chesapeake Bay, etc.
     Almost from the moment we arrived, the kids went from station to station learning different things like soil conservation, water properties of the bay, the mysteries of the marsh, how to read a map and use a compass. They also did fun things like a nature's art project, team building activities and canoeing.
     Personally, I learned two things----the fifth grader is a mysterious beast, and I am not smarter than a fifth grader.
     I must admit, I did not do enough pre-trip research, as I thought that the camp went from Friday to Saturday. It was, in fact, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. Rearranging my work schedule was a bit of a problem because, as you may know, I have a college degree and a juris doctorate, so clearly, I am smart and have lots of smart things to do at work.
     Anyway, that all worked out, and Matthew and I reported to school bright and early on Tuesday, packed with enough clothes for a week. As we sat in Matthew's very small, very warm classroom, one of the dads asked if I were driving or taking the bus. My response showed just how little I knew about the trip. "I didn't know we could drive, but had I known, I wouldn't want to drive all the way to Arlington, Virginia, anyway."
     "Uh well," he stammered, "that information was all in the packet that was sent home along with the minute-by-minute schedule, and uh, well, the camp is in Millersville, Maryland, about fifteen minutes away."
     With such a great education, you'd think that I would at least have known what state I was supposed to be in. Ignoring the fact that I had no idea where I was, or where I was going, I realized I had a completely new problem. Wow, someone should have told me about this minute-by-minute schedule that is, in all likelihood, still sitting in my son's backpack at our home.
     No minute-by-minute schedule for the team leader... This is a potential disaster. Nervous, but not discouraged, I had two thoughts... Why don't they call this place Millersville Echo?... and... I hope they assigned a responsible parent to REALLY supervise my group.
     We loaded the bus and headed off to Millersville. The fifteen minute ride took about thirty five minutes by bus, because we took the most ridiculous route. Had I known that I could have driven, I would have crushed the bus in a race. And so, for thirty of the thirty five minutes, we were entertained by twenty seven kids singing pop music.
     Do you ever really listen to the words of those songs? When you hear ten year olds singing with such gusto, you cannot help but wonder if they understand the words. For example, IN MY HEAD, YOU FULFILL MY FANTASY... Really, because I am pretty sure that my son's fantasy is hitting a homerun in the seventh game of a World Series, and not hitting on some stranger in a club.
      I did not understand all of what they were singing, but I looked up some of the actual lyrics to some of today's most popular songs... LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT YOUR MISSIN', PARADISE, WITH ME, YOU'RE WINNING GIRL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ROLL THE DICE, SHAWTY, YOU'RE MY EENIE MEENIE MINIE MOE LOVER... or yet another... SHAWTY GOT A BOOTIE LIKE POW POW POW, SHAWTY GOT SOME BOOBIES LIKE WOW OH WOW. Are you kidding? Not at all!
     Apparently, Shawty is a very popular girl because all the singers seem to know her. I must admit she does seem to have a nice figure, so her popularity is not surprising. One of these songs is sung by a fifteen year old, so at least the ten year olds are getting their views on love and relationships from a wise old sage. Unfortunately, I really do have underwear older than Justin Bieber.
     Once we arrived at camp, it was clear that the minute-by-minute schedule was important. As it turned out, they were smart to pair me with not one, but two very responsible moms who had it all together----one actually took notes, so I didn't need no stinkin' schedule. I was also not the stinkin' leader, the moms were. Thank God... we had a chance of survival!
     Our group consisted of three girls, all tall, athletic, and confident, and four boys, not tall and for the most part, not very athletic or confident. Matthew tended to have more in common with the girls than the boys. I must say, except for when he dressed up like a cheerleader last Halloween, I have never been so proud of my boy.
     At lunch, I was paired with another dad and was assigned to table 11 with six boys. I was told by one of the moms before the first meal that after every meal they measured everybody's waste. I crinkled my nose at this information, and asked incredulously, "That's gross... how in the world do they do that?" She looked back at me with a similarly incredulous look on her face, and advised that they measured the food waste left on their plates, not that kind of waste. Oh, I was going to say... they take recycling to a whole new level! 
     Table 11 crushed, we had no food waste at any meal, and I cannot comment about the other kind of waste. The only questionable call came when one of the boys got sick at breakfast before finishing his milk. The boys were quick to point out to the judges that he would have finished had he not had to rush out to throw up. We got a favorable ruling, and our Cal Ripkin type streak continued--a great start to the day.
      You would think that something funny would have happened in the cabins at night, but the kids were pretty tired, and settled down at about 9:45. At least, I, their fearless leader, was asleep by 9:45, so if something funny did happen, I was not awake for it. It really is just good chaperoning.
     Unfortunately, we woke up on Wednesday to a driving rain. At breakfast, we were advised that the weather was supposed to have "pockets," and it looked like we could press on with the day's activities. This was great news because our first activity was canoeing.
     The rain cleared out, and God provided us with perfect conditions, a high tide with beautiful blue sky, the sun shining through white fluffy clouds, and 70 degree weather. I was very happy to be paired with Matthew, and the two of us got to spend about an hour together out on the water.
     Over the course of two days, all of the kids were well-behaved, and the sessions were fun and educational. We had a great time... but the time spent canoeing on the water with my ten year old was by far, my favorite event.
    Because on this day... with my son... on this water... Arlington, Virginia never looked so good.