Funny Guy Friday... The Geek Squad v. the Basketball Squad

     Our daughter Grace started High School this year and was accepted into a program called STEM. It emphasizes Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. The good news is that she will be taking classes that will give her the knowledge that she will need to get a job in our technologically advancing society. The bad news is that her Dad cannot possibly help her with any of her homework and I doubt I will have much in common with her friends in the program.
     I have an entirely different skill set... one that has very little to do with Science, Technolgy, Engineering or Math (although as a lawyer, I can divide any number by three to determine a one-third fee). You see, I was good in sports, and history and English. These differences have made for some interesting experiences.
     The students in the STEM program have several opportunities to display their projects to us parents. I am always incredibly impressed with the results, but because of my knowledge, or lack thereof, I am probably not the best judge of such things.
     When I was in ninth grade, I put celery in colored water and documented the water as it climbed through the stalk. As I recall, I thought that was brilliant. What made it even more impressive was that I did it while being treated with leeches by my family physician. I mean... that is how long ago that stupid celery project seems to have been.
     The first time that Cheryl and I attended a STEM exhibition, we sat in on several classes, and each class displayed some clever project. One class created a ball throwing machine. It could throw volleyballs, footballs or any ball of a similar size and weight. They set it up in the cafeteria and roped off a section for the kids to load the balls, throw the balls and catch the balls. I sat and watched in astonishment for several minutes.
     As I walked away shaking my head, Cheryl assumed that I was impressed with the machine. Actually, I could not have cared less about that machine---I have seen plenty of cool pitching machines in my day. The truth was that I was dumbfounded by the fact that none of the kids knew how to catch. That is simple to me, and therefore it should be simple to them. I assure you, it was not! Balls were bouncing off of their heads, their chests, and their hands. To be honest, they should have been wearing safety goggles and helmets.
     This past week, we attended a program where students were put in groups of five and were required to devise a machine that could sort marbles. They created a contraption that drops a marble onto a track. The marble is stopped and evaluated by a light to determine its reflective properties. Based on those properties, the marble then rolls down the track and is deposited into the appropriate compartment. The compartments are on a sliding track and move in order to collect the appropriate marble in the correct compartment.
     There is no way in the world that I could have developed a computer program that could do those types of things. To me, this was a remarkable achievement. Five fourteen year old kids put this together. Very smart kids that were amused by my stupid questions and comments.
     Grace's group's project got off to a slow start as they did not have a power source. The lack of resources was described by their teacher as a real life problem. Apparently, stealing that power source from another group is a real life solution. I suggested it!

     Once they were able to commandeer the appropriate cable, they took off. The preliminary practice round, of which I had a front row seat, was nearly perfect. The only hitch was that the aluminum marble and the steel marble both got deposited in the steel marble slot.

     The marbles looked alike, so I advised that they should just say they were both steel marbles and call it a day. I suggested that the scientists that developed the global warming theory made up their data to support their theory... why couldn't these youngsters cook up their results. Heck, sometimes you have to break a few rules to make a scientific point. Just a real life example of solving a scientific problem. Fortunately, they did not take my advice. 

     The teacher running the program is a terrific teacher. He is energetic and enthusiastic about the subject. He seems to be able to take difficult concepts and make them fun for the kids, and thus, easier too learn. He talked about how hard the kids worked and that his focus was on both the process and the results. However one thing he said made me chuckle. He said that the kids were very excited and "you have never seen or felt the type of energy and excitement that the kids are showing over at the exhibit."

     Really! Never felt that type of energy. Are you kidding?
     Although what they did was impressive... at the end of the day, they were just sorting marbles. Sure it was in a very cool engineery-type way, but I would think that the locker room in the gym where there was a basketball game going on probably generated a little bit more excitement and energy. I mean those kids had to figure out how to get a bouncy round object through a small circular goal elevated ten feet off of the ground---all the while there were forces standing in the way of the stated objective, as well as other distractions. At times those forces happen to stand about 6 ft. 6 in. and can jump higher than the above mentioned circular goal, and the distractions are called cheerleaders.

     How do I know this, you ask? About three quarters of the way through the engineering program, I may have left and wandered off to the gym. I was able to catch the first three quarters of the game. Double good news---Gracie got an A on her marble project, and the home team beat their local rival. Everybody went home happy!