Funny Guy Friday... Coming to America!

     We have agreed to host a young student from Spain for three weeks starting in September.  We anticipate this being a great experience for our family... and we hope we don't ruin the poor kid.
     This whole thing started when our 8th grade daughter volunteered us in her Spanish class. No discussions... no warning... no problema.
     I got the call, and did what I always do when someone calls about something I know nothing about. "CHERYL, its for you!"
     After listening to half the conversation... Cheryl's half... I could glean that whatever Grace had volunteered for was going to be time consuming, and we were going to go along with it. This, despite my flailing arms saying no we can't... no we shouldn't... no we won't. We are!
     It will be a great experience Cheryl assures me.
     The woman who runs the program came for a house visit. Her visit coincided with Steven Strasburg's pitching debut with the Nationals. Already, this was not a great experience. I wanted to watch the game, and she wanted to tell me what I can and can't do with this Spaniard.
     After about five minutes, she told me that I speak very fast for an English speaking person, and the kid will not get my "sarcasm."
     When did I become sarcastic? I am now going to type real slow so every non-English speaking person can understand.  S o...  f a r...  I...  d o n' t...  l i k e...  t h i s...
e x c h a n g e...   p r o g r a m.
     During the visit, we discussed the young lady that will be spending time with our young daughter. Things started to get a bit dicey because the young lady staying with us... will probably be a young man.
     Cheryl gives the very nice, "Oh, I am sure that God will give us the person that we are supposed to have." Oh, and I am sure that I will tell this "child that God gives us" the things that he is supposed to know. I will talk real slow, in a very non-sarcastic tone, so there is no misunderstanding about how I feel about my daughter.
     I suppose the upside to having an older boy around the house is that I will have someone that can help me mow the yard for the three weeks that he is here.
     So, the program director assured us that she would place each student with a "family with children that have some of his same interests." Great. Now, instead of three kids that sit on their rears all day and watch reruns of the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana, I will have four. And another thing, I have lived with my kids every day of their lives, and I couldn't tell you what their interests are... So I wonder... what crystal ball is this lady going to look into to see what interests they have?
     Anyway, yesterday we received the young man's profile and wouldn't you know he is allergic to gramineas. For those of you that do not speak Spanish, that would be grass.  Let me see if I can use that in a sentence... So sorry, Senor Palumbo, I cannot mow your gramineas. By the way, do you know what time the next Jonas Brothers rerun starts? Great!
     Some good news though... he loves football, so we can talk about the Redskins and the upcoming NFL season. What's that? Football in Spain is soccer? I hate soccer.
     This just gets better and better.
     When he does arrive, Grace will be responsible for showing him around the high school.  Let me get this straight. She starts at her new high school on August 23rd, and on September 1st, after a whole week in her new school, she is charged with showing some kid who barely speaks English, where the cafateria is located. Terrific... the poor kid is going to go back weighing ten pounds less than he did when he came. His parents are going to think that things in America are worse than they imagined.
     Oh well... my wife is always right about these things, so I am sure it will be a great experience. In his profile, he mentioned that coming to America has always been a dream for him. We will do our best to make sure that his dream is a good one.
     Hopefully, when his visit comes to an end, the best thing he remembers about America is the crazy family that he lived with for three weeks.